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nAz
11-11-2003, 03:04 PM
I came across this today it's pretty funny and sad at the same time.Please correct me if any of the info below is not accuarate

April 23, 2003

George W. Bush's Resume

BuzzFlash Note: Now available as an email-attachment-friendly PDF.

A BUZZFLASH READER COMMENTARY
by Kelley Kramer

I*recently had an email exchange with a right-winger from my local newspaper, and of course the war with Iraq came up pretty quick. But he said something in defense of George Bush that really surprised me. In defense of the attack on Iraq he said 'between Hussein and Bush, Hussein is the bad guy'.

My first response was ... So your guy is better than a third world dictator, Wow! what an accomplishment! Does he put that on his resume?

And with that in mind, I started wondering ... what would a George W. Bush resume*look like exactly?

Listed below is what I came up with,

Best!

Kelley Kramer

-------------

George W. Bush Resume

Past work experience:

Ran for congress and lost.

Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.

With fathers help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments: Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.

Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments as president:

Attacked and took over two countries.

Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.

Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.

Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.

Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.

After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.

Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.

In my first two years in office over 5 million Americans lost their job.

Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.

Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.

Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.

Signed more laws and executive orders circumventing the Constitution than any president in US history.

Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.

Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. (http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/)

Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has an Chevron oil tanker named after her).

Had more states to simultaneously go bankrupt than any president in the history of the United States.

Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.

Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any*president in US history.

First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.

First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.*

Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

Withdrew from the World Court of Law.

Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).

All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)

First US president to establish a secret shadow government.

Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.

Fist US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.

Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.

Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.

In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.

Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.

In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.

Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

Records and References:

At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).

AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.

Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.

For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)

A BUZZFLASH READER COMMENTARY

Wally_in_Cincy
11-11-2003, 03:12 PM
brevity is the soul of wit

nAz
11-11-2003, 03:44 PM
sorry Yorick /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif what can i do the man has a long arse resume /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Candyman
11-11-2003, 07:54 PM
What's your point Naz! /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Qtec
11-11-2003, 09:16 PM
After dodging the DRAFT he went AWOL.

Q

Kato
11-12-2003, 07:58 AM
I'm not defending President Bush or applauding him either. But surely he has done some good in his personal life and career. I hate these one sided articles whose only use is to sway public opinion without offering the reader any other side.

Kato

eg8r
11-12-2003, 08:03 AM
[ QUOTE ]
President Bush or applauding him either. <hr /></blockquote> You are welcome to if you would like. I don't think Q bites, but he will nag you a bit about it. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

eg8r

TomBrooklyn
11-12-2003, 09:06 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote nAz:</font><hr> April 23, 2003 George W. Bush's Resume
A BUZZFLASH READER COMMENTARY by Kelley Kramer

Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history. <hr /></blockquote>What are the names and positions of these criminals? TBk

nAz
11-12-2003, 01:48 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Candyman:</font><hr> What's your point Naz! /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif <hr /></blockquote>

since when have you known me to have a point??
/ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

nAz
11-12-2003, 01:54 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Kato:</font><hr> I'm not defending President Bush or applauding him either. But surely he has done some good in his personal life and career. I hate these one sided articles whose only use is to sway public opinion without offering the reader any other side.

Kato <hr /></blockquote>


Kato i agree with you on that.
err I did a search for any good done by Dubya on google but it came back all bad. i'm sure there is something out there...

nAz
11-12-2003, 01:55 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote TomBrooklyn:</font><hr> <hr /></blockquote>What are the names and positions of these criminals? TBk <hr /></blockquote>

Tom that i am not sure about i will have to do a search for that. maybe Q knows who they are /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Qtec
11-12-2003, 03:32 PM
HaHaHa.

I think you probably meant the 57 ex-employees from Enron who are working for GW now. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Q

11-12-2003, 04:38 PM
I doubt the President would appreciate this sort of slander. Don't you have any respect? It would be bad enough during peace
time, but during the War on Terror? Go to the library and do some research on Benedict Arnold. If you look in the mirror I'm sure you'd find you bare a striking resemblance to him.

cheesemouse
11-12-2003, 05:25 PM
and if you go look in a mirror you will see a stone cold whack job....

nAz
11-12-2003, 06:45 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote thenewmessiah:</font><hr> I doubt the President would appreciate this sort of slander. Don't you have any respect? It would be bad enough during peace
time, but during the War on Terror? Go to the library and do some research on Benedict Arnold. If you look in the mirror I'm sure you'd find you bare a striking resemblance to him. <hr /></blockquote>

dude check out the Satire i bet you would love the last image in that post /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

I dont know about Arnold i was told by an Ex that i look like Rreddy Prince JR. although i do not see that not with my nappy hair and good looks.

Candyman
11-12-2003, 07:24 PM
Ahhh...Let me mull that over and get back with you! /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Rich R.
11-13-2003, 10:55 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Kato:</font><hr> But surely he has done some good in his personal life and career.<hr /></blockquote>
GWB is a great family man and he has raised two wonderful daughters, that any father would be proud of. /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif

nAz
11-13-2003, 12:18 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Rich R.:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote Kato:</font><hr> But surely he has done some good in his personal life and career.<hr /></blockquote>
GWB is a great family man and he has raised two wonderful daughters, that any father would be proud of. /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif <hr /></blockquote>

Bwahahahaa

#### leonard
11-13-2003, 09:57 PM
The only worst resume would to be George Bush's seniors Co- Pilots during World War Two.####

#### leonard
11-14-2003, 10:00 PM
Egr8 the pilot always goes down with plane except in George W Bush senior resume. He lost two co pilots in world war 11. Explain that to me. He survived while they perished.

nAz
11-15-2003, 02:22 PM
He lost two? ouch! i thought it as one.


Every man for themselfs! lol