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Chris Cass
11-19-2003, 07:19 AM
Hi Everyone,

I've been up all night thinking about a dear friend of mine. He's had a accident resently. Not life threatening but devistanting all the same. I know it must have scared the hebie jeebies out of him to say the least.

Anyway, when I came home from the hospital after all I've been through. I never forget what I seen in the bathroom mirror. I had changed. I was a viral(sp) young man, 179lbs and now I saw a 134lb sight. Stitches running everywhere, dimples from 8 hoses that were in my body and I looked like death warmed over.

I had changed. I cried many times in that bathroom all alone. It was my vanity that was hurting me so badly. I was sad not only for myself but couldn't imagine how Heide would ever find me attractive again. I was so depressed.

Then, I thought about it for awhile, a long while. Heide and Christ didn't look at me any differently. Although, I was getting sick everyday. Looking old, frail and feeling deformed but still they gave me love. That gave me strength.

So, if you see this my dear friend? Remember, the people that love you. Your not any different to them and not any different to me. I don't know how you feel inside but if you feel anything I felt about myself? Don't. I just mailed you something to cheer you up. I hope it does the trick.

Your friend,

C.C.

Wally_in_Cincy
11-19-2003, 08:44 AM
I'm sure K-mom and Spike would agree with Randy Travis:

<font color="red">If you wonder how long I'll be faithful
I'll be happy to tell you again
I'm gonna love you forever and ever
forever and ever, Amen
They say time takes a toll on your body
Make the young girl with brown hair turn grey
Well honey I don't care, I ain't in love with your hair
And if it all fell out, I'd love you anyway....
</font color>

/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Take care CC

9 Ball Girl
11-19-2003, 11:28 AM
Damn. You guys are making this tough Brooklyn girl feel mushy inside. /ccboard/images/graemlins/crazy.gif Is this because of my impending dotage?

Chris Cass
11-19-2003, 11:52 AM
Hi Wendy,

That all depends. What's a dotage? I never heard this word before. Don't mean to make anyone feel mushy. Just want a special friend to know, he is special to us. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Too many people in this world try to hard to be something they think is perfect. When, all they need to do is accept who they are inside. That's all that really counts.

I accept you Wendy for what you are. A wild girl that when exposed to the Machine gets toilet paper over trees and stuff. hahahaha You did give VA a decorative touch. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif,

C.C.~~Gene the Machine A.K.A. party animal and good driver. hummmm wonder if Phil ever found out that cars have brakes???? /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

SPetty
11-19-2003, 12:41 PM
Wendy, as all good youngsters should, thinks 30 is old!!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

dotage: a state or period of senile decay marked by decline of mental poise and alertness

dotage: A deterioration of mental faculties; senility.

dotage: Feebleness or imbecility of understanding or mind, particularly in old age; the childishness of old age; senility; as, a venerable man, now in his dotage.

Tom_In_Cincy
11-19-2003, 12:51 PM
Chris,

When I see you, I don't see you as the way you were, but the way you are. You're my friend, someone that I would be honored to be called upon to do anything for you.

Friends and loved ones, only see you as a friend and a loved one.

No matter how hard you try, I will always think of you as the Master of the table, and never forget the 11-6 spot you gave me....

Love and your friend always..

ChrisW
11-19-2003, 01:23 PM
CC
You are one heck of a man.
You have an unique point of view and I think it is very honorable of you to share it.

Chris

dg-in-centralpa
11-19-2003, 03:10 PM
Chris,
What a well said post. I understand your feelings although I didn't have to go through what you did, I watched my aunt suffer. She died at 50, 6 years ago. She had throat cancer and ended up losing most of her lower jaw through operations. She had chemo, radiation, the whole nine yards, but it didn't help. I can imagine your newfound lust for life. Best wishes to you and your friend.

DG - misses the good times I had with her

Chris Cass
11-19-2003, 03:14 PM
Why thank you CW. Sometimes you have to code a couple times to understand this stuff. LOL I'm a little slow. hahaha

Regards,

C.C.

Chris Cass
11-19-2003, 03:20 PM
Hi Tom,

I appreciate your friendship and feel very honored you feel that way too, but this isn't about me. It's about all of us.

Hopefully, the nextime we meet you'll make me eat that 10-6. LOL

Regards,

Chris

Chris Cass
11-19-2003, 03:25 PM
Do-T-Age? hahahahahahahaha That wasn't so hard.

/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif,

C.C.

Ralph S.
11-19-2003, 03:42 PM
Hi Chris. That was a very intimate post, as far as letting ones feelings be known to many people. It takes a lot of courage and security of yourself to make such a post. I know that none of us would see you differently. We just see you as a friend. A good one at that. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Heide and Christ dont see you any different. I am sure they see you as a great husband, father, and family man.

Always remember, never judge the book by the cover. It's what is inside the book that counts. /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Chris Cass
11-19-2003, 04:24 PM
Hi Ralph,

This is too funny. Right after I talked with you on the phone. My son came home from school. I told him guess who wants to play you some? He said, who? I told him Ralph S. from the board. He said, Ralph Soquet? HAHAHAHAHAHA

I said, no son but he plays like him. LOL

Regards,

C.C.~~glad Dad came home today. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Barbara
11-19-2003, 05:07 PM
Hey CC,

True love, or friendship for that matter, transcends appearances, Bud. Always has and always will.

You've survived and that's what counts the most.

Barbara~~~also has a friend that had the heebie jeebies scared outta him not too long ago.... hmmm...

Chris Cass
11-19-2003, 11:20 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Barbara:</font><hr>
Barbara~~~also has a friend that had the heebie jeebies scared outta him not too long ago.... hmmm... <hr /></blockquote>

That's whom I'm talking about. Yet another case cracked by Agent 99. LOL

Regards,

C.C.~~ /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Ralph S.
11-20-2003, 12:14 AM
That is too funny Chris, although its not the first time its happened to me. I just wish I had half of Souquet's game.

Chris Cass
11-20-2003, 01:09 AM
Ya know Ralph,

I just can't spell worth a damm. I'm surprized nobody gigs me on that. I guess they all just got used to me. LOL

Regards,

C.C.~~hope your Dad is happy to be home and I'll say a prayer for your Grandma.

Gayle in MD
11-20-2003, 06:40 PM
Hey C.C., What a man! I can't wait to meet you, and just think, you will look just the same to me as you always have since I have "Known" you, BEAUTIFUL...

Love,
Gayle in Md.

bluewolf
11-21-2003, 06:41 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Chris Cass:</font><hr> Hi Everyone,

Anyway, when I came home from the hospital after all I've been through. I never forget what I seen in the bathroom mirror. I had changed. I was a viral(sp) young man, 179lbs and now I saw a 134lb sight. Stitches running everywhere, dimples from 8 hoses that were in my body and I looked like death warmed over.

I had changed. I cried many times in that bathroom all alone. It was my vanity that was hurting me so badly. I was sad not only for myself but couldn't imagine how Heide would ever find me attractive again. I was so depressed.

Your friend,

C.C. <hr /></blockquote>

Gosh Chris, thanks for that personal insight. Just yesterday, I turned to ww and said with a grin on my face, 'you thought you were marrying a sexy chic and here I am, my body falling apart'. (actually some days are pretty good and I can play pool on those days).

He turned to me and said 'you are still sexy'. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Isn't unconditional love wonderful? /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Laura

Chris Cass
11-21-2003, 11:33 AM
Hey W.W.,

Way to go. Tap, Tap, Tap....

Regards,

C.C.

Chris Cass
11-21-2003, 11:35 AM
/ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif,

C.C.

Rod
11-21-2003, 12:43 PM
Hi Chris,

I hope your friend is feeling better. Well your OK, there is just less of you. It keeps the food bills down! /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif Poor Heide doesn't have to carry in all those bags of groceries. HA HA HA I still love ya, now your my little Brother.

Rod

Kato
11-21-2003, 03:00 PM
I've got news for ya buddy....................you were never that good looking /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif (Heide probably doesn't agree)

Of course that heart of yours.................that's what makes you the man that you are. /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Those scars.......................that my man is character. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

That weight.......................extra, not important. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Kato~~~thinks there is something to that soft break of Chris's /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Barbara
11-21-2003, 04:05 PM
Rod,

CC did something really nice for thbis person. I know, I was on the phone talking to him when the "package" arrived. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Barbara~~~and yes, he is doing better /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Karatemom
11-21-2003, 04:56 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Kato:</font><hr> I've got news for ya buddy....................you were never that good looking /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif (Heide probably doesn't agree)
<font color="blue"> You're right, I absolutely do not agree with you. </font color>

Of course that heart of yours.................that's what makes you the man that you are. /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif
<font color="blue"> I found out how wonderful he was soon after I met him. He's got a heart of gold, unless you cross him, LOL. </font color>

Those scars.......................that my man is character. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
<font color="blue">Just a reminder of the hell we went through, and why. </font color>

That weight.......................extra, not important. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
<font color="blue">HA, we fit in the same size now, hahahaha. </font color>

Kato~~~thinks there is something to that soft break of Chris's /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif
<font color="blue">That soft break is getting stronger every day! </font color> <hr /></blockquote>

Heide

Karatemom
11-21-2003, 04:58 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Rod:</font><hr> Hi Chris,

I hope your friend is feeling better. Well your OK, there is just less of you. It keeps the food bills down! /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif Poor Heide doesn't have to carry in all those bags of groceries. HA HA HA I still love ya, now your my little Brother.

Rod <hr /></blockquote>I've got ya there! Spike is a bottomless pit! The kid can out-eat anyone I know!!!

Heide

Chris Cass
11-22-2003, 07:39 AM
K-Mom,

Do you think Spike can go live with Rod for a week? I sure could use the extra $500. will save on food. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Regards,

C.C.~~Rod' too funny. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif his delapidated friend.hahahaha

Kato
11-22-2003, 08:04 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Karatemom:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote Kato:</font><hr>e That weight.......................extra, not important. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
<font color="blue">HA, we fit in the same size now, hahahaha. </font color>

Kato~~~thinks there is something to that soft break of Chris's /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif
<font color="blue">That soft break is getting stronger every day! </font color> <hr /></blockquote>

Heide <hr /></blockquote>

So Heide, How does Chris look in a dress? /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif Of course I'm just teasing. Chris might not fit in his old clothes but he's still a man's man.

Kato~~~How hard is Cassman's break these days?

Kato
11-22-2003, 08:18 AM
I think back when you post this and wonder what kind of an eater I was at Spike's age? What kind of eater all of us were? Sometimes when work gets too busy I forget to eat. Could I or would I ever think of doing that when I was a kid? Maybe if I was playing sports or something but I guarantee my Mom never let me out of the house without breakfast. /ccboard/images/graemlins/frown.gif

My family has always been an ice cream family. Didn't get ice cream unless you finished your plate, green beans and everything. Needless to say I used to eat a lot of ice cream. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif Used to eat 2lbs of peanut M &amp; M's during football on Sunday. Scary.

Kato~~~never thinks about not eating the whole pizza /ccboard/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Rich R.
11-22-2003, 08:33 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Karatemom:</font><hr>
That weight.......................extra, not important. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
<font color="blue">HA, we fit in the same size now, hahahaha. </font color> <hr /></blockquote>
Pictures!!!!! Where are the pictures?????????? /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Chris Cass
11-22-2003, 08:48 AM
Hi Kato,

Spikes metabolism dictates his intake. He's so active as we all were at his age. I don't care that he eats. I only care about what he eats and when he eats. Funny, growing up with 5 sisters and a brother I didn't see a lot of food. So, we ate all we could when we could.

Wasn't much but it led to a problem later in life. I felt I had to eat everything on my plate. Where, Spike is taught that he could leave what he couldn't finish or didn't like. The difference being, it's ok, not to finish or eat for the sake of not seeing another meal for awhile. With 7 kids, food is scarce and later led to a bad habit.

The real problem is the time you choose to eat. If you eat before you go to bed? That's a sure way of gaining those unwanted pounds when you get older. The metabolisim slows down and the weight piles on. Plus, my family are bread eaters. Bread will give you weight bigtime.

If Spike gets too big around the midsection. I know it's the bread. I'll allow him only so much bread per day. Only so much candy too. I'd just be happy if he eats a good meal not all this junk food. I don't want him to have problems late in life. Heart problens were big on my Dad's side. He died at 53 because of it. Had a triple bypass at 40. I'm scared for Christ so, I try hard to be firm and teach him how to eat. You have no control. All you can do is try to eat sensibly and exersize. /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif

Regards,

C.C.~~found out today, smokers fingernails become clubed after yrs of smoking. The nails actually curve downwards. hmmm

Kato
11-22-2003, 09:23 AM
I believe it Chris. Everytime we talk that boy is out cruising the neighborhood. Better than mucking it up playing video games like most kids his age. And since there's only 3 of ya I'm sure he gets plenty of chow. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

I pretty much eat at around 6 p.m. these days. Of course the only excersise I afford myself is pool (not enough) and running to the refrigerator. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Kato~~~doesn't know about that smoker-fingernail deal. /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif

pbr
11-22-2003, 06:43 PM
WOW!?
I can't believe the words you just put down in that thread! You are one of the great ones, from the words that I just read from you, I believe you saved my vanity or life.
As the story goes,at some point "We all loose our vanity", but I want to be the one that takes it from me, I dont want it ripped away without my consent, at least let me give it up. But it must be lifes job to to it for you and it has no compasion as to when and how it does it! The thing that was enlightening to me was the people that you love seem to love you more and dont ask you to qualify yourself with them, they give it freely and it doesnt stop. I'm not trying to pump you up or get you in the right spirit for giving, you've already given to me. The other thing that I noticed is that not all the people that you care about come forth and from that I learned it was one sided with them, so I know from the 19th of Nov. who my loved ones and friends really are. I plan on having a richer and more meaningful life from then forward. "Ever Onward" Txs//pbr

p.s. my face was ripped up by a tree on the 19th of Nov. It even freaked the surgeon and then I knew it was bad.

Troy
11-22-2003, 08:45 PM
I can relate Chris, believe me, I can relate...
I went from 150 to a low of 99 pounds. Now back to about 118. I can't eat much at one sitting, but I get in quite a few sittings per day.

Let your friend know there are are good thoughts coming.

Troy

stickman
11-23-2003, 08:43 PM
Hey old friend. I've learned to replace my vanity from character. I surely have enough of it. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Sid_Vicious
11-23-2003, 09:32 PM
Chris,

There is something mystical in how these things coincide in our lives, mine certainly as I have someone exceptionally close who is basically terminal..I won't go into the "whats" about her situation except to say that it ain't fair, no way is it even any hint of anything other than down right wrong. I will tell you that the disease is one without an understanding or a cure, it's sarcoid. Anyone with an interest can research it a little and they'll understand the terribleness if it all. The thing is that there are so many things that's taken the pride from this Angel of God, it hurts me deeply, and the relentless progression of it all has come the the verge of preparing ourselves for the inevitable. I was given a few personal items Friday after a visit, a surprise to me, a sad surprise since it indicates her latest frame of mind, feeling that time is short.

I feel for your friend. Life has included all of us here in the CCB family in a strange yet unique way. Thanks for sharing your emotions, you hit home on this one.

Chris Cass
11-24-2003, 04:09 AM
Hi Troy,

All that matters is your here today. Strength is what counts. Not physical as much as mental strength. Physical is important but you have to want to live more than anything. I was so worried about you for the longest time. I feel you've made it my friend. Now, I can breath a little easier.

Regards,

C.C.~~ /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Chris Cass
11-24-2003, 04:13 AM
Hi Jim,

Life hasn't been fair with you at all. I try to understand everything but you've been through too much in the past 2 yrs and if there is a God I sure wish he would listen to me. My prayers are with you Jim.

Your friend,

Chris

Chris Cass
11-24-2003, 04:33 AM
Hi pbr,

I didn't save your life, you did. The haedest judge of people are themselves. Others that judge people by what they look like or by the money they have are the ones that have know place in your life. It's those who set these minor flaws, even though they seem so major to oneself into dislike that are truely the sadest people in the world. They don't know how to love another. It's those people I pity. Pity, is something I don't like to feel.

BTW, your not so bad looking to me. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Regards,

C.C.

Chris Cass
11-24-2003, 05:11 AM
Hi Sid,

When I found out I had Cancer and thought I was dieing. I put my vanity aside. I would never show anyone how I truely felt for those emotions aren't acceptable in pool. I didn't care. It was my only chance of telling people who I grew to love that I cared about them. I took the petty feelings and chucked them away. It was the only time to tell them how I truely felt inside. I had to let them know to be at peace with myself before God would see me. It's sad but your friend is trying to tell you she loves you in her own way. I'm sorry for not knowing her.

My best,

C.C.

11-24-2003, 10:49 AM

Wally_in_Cincy
11-24-2003, 11:02 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote whitewolf:</font><hr> I think President Bush needs to rename his wife Laura #2. And pass a federal law that there can only be one Laura, and that would be Bluewolf. All of the other Lauras should be renamed. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif <hr /></blockquote>

ww,

There is only one Laura /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Sid_Vicious
11-24-2003, 12:16 PM
"I would never show anyone how I truely felt for those emotions aren't acceptable in pool."

Chris,

I probably should take this off air and into PM or e-mail, you may be right in what you said, yet this forum is the absolute only one where I'd consider opening up on some things. There were vanity issues during the years of treatments, I'll mail you if that's ok, it is a strength for me to talk a little more. Today, it is more inevitable, and that is why Y'all hit home at this particular time.

I truly wish that all my friends could have met this Lady. Words have little power to tell just who she is and has been to this world. Some people change your life forever, for the good. Thanks Chris, look for e-mail.

Sid