Eric.

12-10-2003, 09:24 AM

> 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for

> I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either.

> Just leave me the hell alone.

>

> 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a

leaky

> tire.

>

> 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your

> neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

>

> 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be

promoted.

>

> 5. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

>

> 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

>

> 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of

car

> payments.

>

> 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes.

> That way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his

> shoes.

>

> 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

>

> 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,

and

> he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

>

> 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was

> probably worth it.

>

> 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

>

> 13. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

>

> 14. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

>

> 15. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from

> bad judgment.

>

> 16. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it

> back in your pocket.

>

> 17. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

>

> 18. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and

> it holds the universe together.

>

> 19. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

>

> 20. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are

moving.

>

> 21. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

>

> 22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

>

> 23. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass - then

> things get worse.

>

> 24. The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.

Eric

> I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either.

> Just leave me the hell alone.

>

> 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a

leaky

> tire.

>

> 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your

> neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

>

> 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be

promoted.

>

> 5. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

>

> 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

>

> 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of

car

> payments.

>

> 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes.

> That way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his

> shoes.

>

> 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

>

> 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,

and

> he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

>

> 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was

> probably worth it.

>

> 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

>

> 13. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

>

> 14. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

>

> 15. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from

> bad judgment.

>

> 16. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it

> back in your pocket.

>

> 17. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

>

> 18. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and

> it holds the universe together.

>

> 19. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

>

> 20. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are

moving.

>

> 21. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

>

> 22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

>

> 23. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass - then

> things get worse.

>

> 24. The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.

Eric