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View Full Version : Bad Idea - Taking you girlfriend to tournaments...



ninerballmark
12-22-2003, 10:32 AM
Ok, here's my story. I had been dating a girl for about 2 months and cared for her alot. She showed some interest in pool so I began taking her to a couple local tournaments I play in.

Apparently, as I was concentrating on my game, she was concentrating on a "friend" of mine and he on her.

I was in the dark about all of this until she began to drift away from me and stopped returning my calls, etc.

So I show up at the next tournament and run into my "friend", a guy I've known almost 10 years, and he informs me after I have paid my entry fee that he is now dating my "girlfriend" and whats more - she'll be showing up in a few minutes to be with him and help him run the tournament.

I was so shocked that I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to make a fool of myself so I figured I'd play it cool. But after she showed up I couldn't make a ball.. and what's more I didn't care. I did two and out that night.

Now the really bad part. I was playing 3 tournaments a week. Now my ex-girlfriend is showing up with my ex-friend at two of them.. and that just ruins it for me. I want to go and have fun & enjoy the other players. I find that pretty much impossible now with the two of them hanging on each other. It makes me sick.

If I had it to do over again I would have never taken her with me. Sure, she still may have broken up with me anyway but at least it wouldn't have been for another pool player. I wouldn't have to see her and him everytime I go to relax & play in a tournament.

My advise - dont take your girl to the pool hall. Bad things can come of it.


Mark
- got a bad roll

Sid_Vicious
12-22-2003, 11:47 AM
Mark,

Real sorry to hear your situation. I'll agree that GFs really don't fit in the PH scene, you have a dillema now and I don't know exactly how you deal with it since this is your regular playground. I imagine that the old saying, "It's better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all" sucks right now. "Put a mad on" kick some butt at pool and give it time. Believe me, I have empathy for ya, been there done that too, but not with the double whammy of a friend being involved. Let those two be the shallow ones, not you...sid

woody_968
12-22-2003, 11:54 AM
Sorry to hear what happend Mark, and it may be hard to do right now, but soon you may be glad that it did. Better now than a long time down the road. I take my wife to tournaments any chance I get, Im glad she enjoys being there. But we have been married for 13 years and are very solid. BTW I met her in a pool hall, she was dating one of my friends. Before everyone gets mad at me, my friend and her had already broken up, and I asked him if he would mind if I took her out before I ever approached her. I am glad he didnt have a problem with it or I would have missed out on a wonderfull life with my wife, but missed out I would have as I would have never gone out with her if he said it would be trouble between he and I.

This, as many painfull things in life, can be a valueable learning experience if you let it. And the fact that you are willing to talk about it tells me you will come out of this much stronger than when you went in.

hustlefinger
12-22-2003, 11:56 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote ninerballmark:</font><hr> I was so shocked that I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to make a fool of myself so I figured I'd play it cool. But after she showed up I couldn't make a ball.. and what's more I didn't care. I did two and out that night.<hr /></blockquote>

The fastest way to cure this… is to get married. That way, you won’t care if your girlfriend is dating someone else.

Rick

tateuts
12-22-2003, 12:01 PM
Mark,

I know what you mean. Losing your buddy like that is really depressing. As far as losing the girl goes, he did you a favor.

Chris

hadenball
12-22-2003, 12:06 PM
Yeah "get married" LOL. Then you can have a real reason to quit and have someone to blame it on. LOL. Just be glad it happened before you got more serious, just think about it and smile then come back stronger. "and this too shall pass"

Cueless Joey
12-22-2003, 12:08 PM
Send your ex a dozen roses ( in the poolhall on tourney night).
Have somebody sign the card, " I had a lovely time". /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
No, you better not. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
But, as the saying goes, time heals wounds.
Eventually, you will lose that knot in your stomach.

Rich R.
12-22-2003, 12:57 PM
I don't mean to be harsh, but you are just feeling sorry for yourself.

For whatever reason, you were not the Prince Charming this girl was looking for. Whether in the PH, the grocery store, the post office or somewhere else, eventually, she would have left you anyway. Your friend may have done you a favor, by taking her away sooner rather than later.

Your best revenge would be to continue playing in those tournaments and start winning some. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
The girl may start thinking she picked the wrong guy. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Iowashark
12-22-2003, 01:04 PM
First go to the strip club to help forget about her, perhaps take home a random from the bar some night. Then, continue to play in these tournaments regardless of if they're there or not. Furthermore, if you have to play this ex-friend of yours, make you kick his ass good (on the table, not physically). Humiliating him in front of the lady will help you feel less uncomfortable in their presence. And now that I think of it, what he did is a pretty crumby thing to do to a friend, maybe you should kick his ass (physically, not on the table).

~~Dave

Brady_Behrman
12-22-2003, 01:56 PM
What goes around comes around...

Its not the tournaments that did it just the unstable fealings she must have had.. Better now then 8 months down the road..The "Right" one is out there!

For $hit'$ and giggles does your buddy have any ex girls? That usually helps the mind. I had a similar experience YEARS ago but it was with a girl i invested/dated for almost a year.. That sucked.. so concider yourself lucky, caught it early in the game!

Keep Strokin! /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Brady

=k=
12-22-2003, 02:11 PM
mark a few options, you can get another girl to go with you and show them there are other fish in the pond, forget it and have a good time, or joke them and show up with an inflatable doll name her faithful.. just say ex couldn't stand the competition !!

Ralph S.
12-22-2003, 03:17 PM
Sounds to me like she would've strayed eventually. Better you find out sooner rather than later. As for your friend, he could have said something sooner, like a phone call a few days before this tourney. Refocus your thoughts, play your ass off and dont let it get ya down. I am sure you will find better and be happier also.

cheesemouse
12-22-2003, 04:18 PM
ninerballmark,

For a first post here on the ccb I would have to say that your life sucks and you should give up the game of pool.....just kinding of course....WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD...... /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Vapros
12-22-2003, 06:36 PM
I would say you have a few things to learn about both girls and friends, (especially this girl and this friend) but at least you have made a start. Be glad to find out about these two now, rather than later. Try to blow it off, and don't let it ruin your game. The world is full of friends and girls. You'll find better ones than the ones you lost.

Next time you see the guy, smirk at him as if you know something he doesn't. Share the gloom.

Kato
12-22-2003, 07:42 PM
My last girlfriend broke up with me because my 3 nights a week of pool was too much. Turns out she went out with a guy once and moved to Conneticut /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif Don't have to worry about that one any more.

Kato~~~courting another lovely lady now. Time will tell. /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

ninerballmark
12-22-2003, 09:19 PM
I read all of your posts and appreciated the kind words. I went to the pool hall today and played from 1:45pm until almost 9:00pm.. it felt great just to play and not have the girlfriend calling me &amp; asking when I was going to stop playing.. I'll get over this

thanks Mark

SRpool
12-23-2003, 04:49 AM
Well boys....just to let you know sometimes bringing boyfriends to the pool hall has the same effect. Maybe not the whole cheating aspect but the nagging and question asking. So not only you guys are effected by a significant other.

But anyway, I am sorry that happened to you. Here is another way to look at it...if you didn't take her to the pool hall she would have found someone else somewhere else. So it is not your fault or the pool halls fault. It is hers and she will get hers in due time. Until then find someone you can trust and trusts you enough to go to the tournaments with or without. You should both be able to enjoy it.

Just my opinion.

MarkUrsel
12-23-2003, 04:51 AM
Look at it this way; your ex-friend now has a girlfriend who has proven to be disloyal. I think she'd be a bigger distraction to him than you! He's gotta worry about who she's looking at next, while you are lucky to be rid of her.

Better to find all this out now than five years from now when she'd get half of everything. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

PQQLK9
12-23-2003, 08:10 AM
You did make some Video's and take some pictures didn't you ...Hmmmm /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Qtec
12-23-2003, 08:22 AM
If it wasnt a pool player it would be somebody else.
$hit happens. You will get over it.
Its her loss, not yours.

Q

Chris Cass
12-23-2003, 08:34 AM
Hi Mark,

Not to be creul but do you think you really had her? The best medicine for you is to egnore her totally. Act if nothing she has done even remotely phased you. Far as your friend of 10 yrs goes. He's a lump. Treat as one. He's like one of these fish that live on the belly of other fishes.

Don't show one iota of resentment towards him but don't give him the time of day either. Show up to the tourneys with another girl and she can even be a friend but someone your ex can see she wasn't anything but a 100lbs of flesh to you.

I know it sucks to have that happen but believe me this I do know. The real thing won't want anyone but you. Hang in there buddy.

Regards,

C.C.~~revenge can be sweeter than the relationship was. I'm so vendictive... /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif

tateuts
12-23-2003, 11:28 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote PQQLK9:</font><hr> You did make some Video's and take some pictures didn't you ...Hmmmm /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif <hr /></blockquote>

/ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif Pervert!

piglit
12-23-2003, 11:56 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote hustlefinger:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote ninerballmark:</font><hr> I was so shocked that I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to make a fool of myself so I figured I'd play it cool. But after she showed up I couldn't make a ball.. and what's more I didn't care. I did two and out that night.<hr /></blockquote>

The fastest way to cure this&amp;#8230; is to get married. That way, you won&amp;#8217;t care if your girlfriend is dating someone else.

Rick

<hr /></blockquote>

Now, THAT is hilarious!!

But really, there is some good advice in this thread. Hope you all aren't quite full yet...

That girl would do the same thing in or out of the pool-room. Don't let your pool suffer 'coz of her, you are better off now that there is no more romantic tie between you two. Now she's your friend (ex-friend!?)'s problem.

There are people out there who do have respect for their relationships with others. You'll find her- breaking up still sucks though!

We feel for ya!!

-pigi

PQQLK9
12-23-2003, 12:08 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote tateuts:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote PQQLK9:</font><hr> You did make some Video's and take some pictures didn't you ...Hmmmm /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif <hr /></blockquote>

/ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif Pervert! <hr /></blockquote>
I guess there has been too much in the news lately about Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton's video escapades but on a serious note I wish our fellow CCB'er all the best as i'm sure he will survive.

Kato
12-23-2003, 12:20 PM
That's pretty strong, nice session completely. I think I'm reading something else into your post. Do what I do and many others. Turn off that cell phone when you're in the pool room. I check mine for messages every 1-2 hours.

I've also never mastered the art of groveling. I won't do it because coming from me it seems so insincere. Many times in life I've come off sarcastic because.............well I'm a little sarcastic even when I don't mean to be. What I do now is say "I'm sorry" and mean it. That's the best I can do. Usually it's been good enough.

Kato

Kato

stick8
12-23-2003, 09:39 PM
Throw away the crying towel. how start playing some pool !!!!!!!!!!!!!STICK

dg-in-centralpa
12-23-2003, 09:53 PM
Before I got married, I took my girlfriend along to leagues. That way she knew what she was getting into. We eventually got married and have been together for almost 17 years. She now goes to Valley Forge with me every year. It will eventually work out.

DG