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View Full Version : Co-Habitating, there has to be RULES!



Stretch
01-09-2004, 11:15 AM
You see, i'm only a man. I was given a second chance at living harmoniously with that wonderfully allian creature known as "woman". So as not to cross any apparent invisible line of conduct i was forced to lay down some RULES of engagment just cause....cause.....well you gotta have rules!

Are these outta line?

1. Sunday=Pool (plus an hour or two after work each day). It's like the full Moon, or the changeing of the tides. Let it be.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
3. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
4. Crying is blackmail.
5. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
7. Yes and no are perfectly acceptible answers to almost every question.
8. Come to me with a problem only if you want help solving it. This is what i do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. Check your oil.
10. It is niether in your best interest, nor ours, to take that quiz.
11. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmisable in an argument. Any comments are nul and void after 7 days.
13. Let me ogle. I'm going to look anyway, it's genetic.
14. If it itches, it will be scratched.
15. If i ask "what is wrong" and you say "Nothing". I will act like nothing's wrong. I know your lying. But it's just not worth the hassel.

So maybe it's not the greatest list in the world. But with time and understanding maybe even the Stretchman can be domesticated again. I'll start under the assumpion that "I'm Wrong!" and work from there. See? I'm learnin! /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif St.

Cueless Joey
01-09-2004, 12:00 PM
Tap, tap, tap!!!!

dg-in-centralpa
01-09-2004, 04:29 PM
Before I got married, I found a man of wisdom and asked him," If a man were in the middle of the woods with no woman around to hear him speak, would he still be wrong?' The answer was a resounding "YES."

DG - after almost 17 years still finds that to be true

sack316
01-09-2004, 04:41 PM
I will be printing this list (along with probably a few additions) and posting it on my wall for when my girl returns from tech school. I appreciate you saving me the hassle of thinking it up on my own.

stickman
01-09-2004, 09:57 PM
I don't like rules, and I don't want to be domesticated. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif Best wishes for you, all the same. I'm afraid a co-habitant might keep me from doing something I might really want to do, and I'm not taking any chances. /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

sack316
01-10-2004, 03:29 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote stickman:</font><hr> I'm afraid a co-habitant might keep me from doing something I might really want to do <hr /></blockquote>
but yet a co-habitant can also give you opportunity at any time to do things you really want to do /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Barbara
01-10-2004, 09:03 AM
Ya know Stretch, I spent some time yesterday afternoon formulating some rebuttals to those rules and showed them to my hubby last night. He didn't even get to my stuff, after he read your rules he said, "I like this guy!".

Barbara~~~just took her stuff out to the trash can... in 5 degree weather... brrrrrrrrr... /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Wally_in_Cincy
01-10-2004, 09:14 AM
Stretch,

A test for you

What's the correct answer to this question?

<font color="blue">Does this make my butt look big? </font color>

The correct answer is

<font color="red">No honey, it's your FAT ASS that makes your butt look big. </font color>

hope this helps,

your pal,

Wally

Stretch
01-12-2004, 09:42 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr> Stretch,

A test for you

What's the correct answer to this question?

<font color="blue">Does this make my butt look big? </font color>

The correct answer is

<font color="red">No honey, it's your FAT ASS that makes your butt look big. </font color>

hope this helps,

your pal,

Wally <hr /></blockquote>

Good answer Wally, but not one i'd recommend for starting the evening off right lol. I was kinda hopeing that the good people of the board could step forth with some sage advice of there own on living in harmony with a woman. Is there any additional rules, or suggestions that others have used to keep things going smooth and fresh? I'm almost out of ideas and the thought of just "being myself" could be a tad dangerous haha. St

Wally_in_Cincy
01-12-2004, 09:46 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Stretch:</font><hr>
...Is there any additional rules, or suggestions that others have used to keep things going smooth and fresh?..<hr /></blockquote>

Do your share of the housework. I usually do almost all the dishes and most of the laundry, because I'm good at it and I don't trust her to wash my clothes LOL

Keep your stuff picked up and put away. A cluttered house makes some women antsy.

Kato
01-12-2004, 10:09 AM
Heck, I have told every woman whom I've ever been with that I will cook and clean everything just so I don't have to do laundry. Even those not living with me. Come over and do the laundry and I will come to your home and return the favor.

Good luck Stretch man. Keep the toothpaste cap on, clean the whiskers out of the sink, put your clothes in the hamper, leave the seat down, and don't leave those "after hours" videos and dvd's laying around. I recommend coming clean on those as soon as possible though because SHE WILL find them!!!!!!!

It's also good to quickly find out what her quirks are and deal with them. If she likes the DVD's in a certain order, her dishes stacked a certain way, and the toilet paper going in a certain direction, then by all means don't mess with things, it will wreck your harmony. You should also find out if those are "show towels" or "use towels".

Kato~~~has "show towels" and "show pot holders" in the kitchen and "show towels" and "show hand cloths" in the bathrooms.

SPetty
01-12-2004, 10:29 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr> I usually do ... most of the laundry, because I'm good at it and I don't trust her to wash my clothes <hr /></blockquote>Back in the old days when I got married, the woman was to do the household chores, while the man was to do the outside chores. Within a month, I had washed the man's undergarments with my new red shirt, and turned them pink. This so angered the man that he proclaimed that he WOULD NOT LET ME DO HIS LAUNDRY ANY MORE!!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

As for the toilet seat issue - if anybody's still struggling with that, just have everybody close the toilet when they're done, regardless of what they did there. It stops the arguing and keeps the dogs and cats from drinking the toilet water.

TomBrooklyn
01-12-2004, 10:41 AM
Remove *anything* from the house you don't want her to find. It is not good enough to hide it, she will find everything.

Rich R.
01-12-2004, 10:59 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Stretch:</font><hr> Is there any additional rules, or suggestions that others have used to keep things going smooth and fresh? <hr /></blockquote>
If you get an answer to this question, please pass it along to me. I have been co-habitating for over 30 years and I haven't learned yet. /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif

Iowashark
01-12-2004, 01:12 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote SPetty:</font><hr> Back in the old days when I got married, the woman was to do the household chores, while the man was to do the outside chores. Within a month, I had washed the man's undergarments with my new red shirt, and turned them pink. This so angered the man that he proclaimed that he WOULD NOT LET ME DO HIS LAUNDRY ANY MORE!!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

As for the toilet seat issue - if anybody's still struggling with that, just have everybody close the toilet when they're done, regardless of what they did there. It stops the arguing and keeps the dogs and cats from drinking the toilet water. <hr /></blockquote>



This is exactly why I do the dishes, the laundry, the cleaning, the outside work, and all the maintenance on the house (if a professional is not required). This ensures everything will get done right and timely. She can watch her TV shows, she can't screw that up.

P.S. Kato.....even if I had show towels, I wouldn't admit to it. And if for some reason I did admit to it, they would get hidden if my friends came over...otherwise I would fear what they might wash them. ( My friends would do that, too...I swear they're all going on 13 years old.)

Barbara
01-12-2004, 02:05 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote SPetty:</font><hr> As for the toilet seat issue - if anybody's still struggling with that, just have everybody close the toilet when they're done, regardless of what they did there. It stops the arguing and keeps the dogs and cats from drinking the toilet water. <hr /></blockquote>

That works in this household. When we first got Junior as a kitty, he was quite the clutz so Pete and I started putting the lid down on all the toilets just 'cause we didn't want to come home to a wet kitty.

Barbara

Wally_in_Cincy
01-12-2004, 02:16 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Barbara:</font><hr>...we didn't want to come home to a wet kitty.<hr /></blockquote>

Yes. That would be awful. I hate coming home to a wet kitty /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Kato
01-12-2004, 03:00 PM
Trust me, there are no show towels out if my buddies come over. I'll put some bar rags out or something for those slugs. Basically those are just out so that women think I'm somewhat domesticated and not a total pig.

Kato