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View Full Version : Bad attitude, getting out of your own way, ect.



Kato
01-15-2004, 01:26 PM
I'm having a problem, mental, and it's bad, I think. Of course I'm going to delv into my mind which is scary at best. Here goes.

Work has been highly stressful as of late. As a purchasing agent I get pounded on religiously by customer service, accoutants, and customers alike. Yesterday I got ripped by one of our VP's even though he knew it wasn't me (he apologized this morning). But last night I just couldn't let it go, I couldn't unload the stress. I was tight and cranky. I wasn't there. My mind was swimming in numbers, it just refused to let go and it effected me adversely.

Now I know I should just "let it go" and usually I can. But now it's different. Now it's real pressure, or at least more than I'm used to. But how do you guys "let it go"? How do you get down to having fun when your mind is so focused on solving another problem that it can't tell your body what to do?

Kato~~~wants to avoid missing a 2 foot ball in hand in league again.

PS. After my 1 game debacle I benched myself for the team. I never recovered any semblance of a game over the next 5 hours.

Iowashark
01-15-2004, 01:59 PM
I know this probably isn't the answer you were looking for, but when I'm stressed about things such as work, wife, or money I go to the poolhall. About the only time I can forget about that stuff is when I'm leaning over a table looking at a nice spread and seeing the runout. That or I work on finishing my pool room/bar.

But on the other hand, there are different kinds of stress. One kind of stress I find hard to ignore or push aside while playing pool is more of an angered frustration. This results from problems that for some reason are unavoidable, not my fault but nothing I can really do to help the problem, or something that only time can make better. When it's this sort of angst/frustration I physically exert myself. Go to the gym, run a few miles, or make a random unpredictable spur of the moment purchase (this one's my favorite).

As an accountant I'm having this problem right now being the end of the fiscal period. Went on Ebay last night and bought myself a new cue. I don't need it, but yet I can't wait until it gets here. Even though it adds more clutter into my already clogged brain, now I'm constantly thinking about one thing or the other, whether it be good or bad. It does however seem to balance the chaos.

I hope some of this unorganized mess helps a little bit.


P.S. On a side note my band's website will soon be up and running for those of you that care to know a little about the shark's non-pool life. And no we won't be selling anything on the site so this is not an advertisement. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Wally_in_Cincy
01-15-2004, 02:13 PM
I once had a job like that. I was a front-line supervisor in a manufacturing facility. The stress was unbearable.

Fortunately I was able to go to night school and learn CAD. I kept working at the same place doing CAD and that helped. I finally had to quit because the company was screwed up. I went thru about 4 jobs over the next 3 years until I found the one I am at now.

Is your resume up-to-date?

houstondan
01-15-2004, 02:25 PM
hey kato, sorry to hear you're going thru that sh-t. the best answer is pretty obvious but it's getting harder and harder to find places to hide the body and in a place like florida you've got that nasty "floating" problem.

one of the main reasons civilization only partly works is that your body is built to ACT. fight or flight. but no, you're loaded with nitro and you've got one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. the anger or fear loads your blood with mass quantities of nifty chems. sometimes, really strenuous exercize will help...like digging a really deep hole and filling it with lime maybe? or, when you first get to the pool room, if you know it's one of those days, try to find a table away from polite society and take it out on the pockets. really blast those suckers in there. over and over till you can hear the little suckers screaming for mercy. stripes are bosses, solids are ex-wives...take that you....!!!!

then, after you've sweated it out, maybe one of the locals in your tropical paradise can suggest a mild herbal remedy.

just remember this helpful hint for the day: when in doubt, use more quicklime.

dan

Candyman
01-15-2004, 02:39 PM
I have been in your shoes and know exactly how you feel. I even had a similar job in purchasing. Headaches were normal for me. My doctor put me on high blood pressure medication and suggested several books on stress. None of them worked for me. I did join a gym and that helped a little. When I returned to work it was the same old thing. I happened to be in the pharmacy one day and saw one of those stress cards. They look like a credit card with a panel for you to press with your thumb. It turns blue with no stress and changes to black if you are highly stressed. I stayed in the black. That is a silent killer. I would play with the card and try to bring it back in the blue, by imagining I was on the lake or beach on a beautiful day. It worked! It took me a good year to learn how to totally control my stress, but you can do it. You have to Kato. It's all about mind control. This may not work for you, but you will find a way.

In the PH when I feel stress, I think about the people in the hospital next to our building. Some of them will never go home. Maybe one or two people have died since my last game. If I miss an easy shot I can still go home. Life is beautiful no matter how my match comes out. Good luck Kato, Lock /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Popcorn
01-15-2004, 05:48 PM
This is just my opinion, but when it is like that, it usually does not get better. You cope by the knowledge that this job is just temporary and begin putting together a plan to make it so. Don't trap yourself with debt, it makes you have to do things you don't want to do.

Tom_In_Cincy
01-15-2004, 07:08 PM
Kato,

tough nite.. and there will be more ahead.. I've never seen anyone beat this "ALL the time"

When emotions are in control, you have to deal with them. Trying to control them is a life long pursuit.

You can't shut them off like a light switch. When they have the GRIP.. it's there until you take care of it.

Hopefully, in time you will get to the point that you can at least reduce the amounts or causes of these emotional grips. I stil have times when I know my head will not let me enjoy pool.

I've accepted this and go and play anyway.. a bad day at pool is still better than a Bad day at work.

SPetty
01-15-2004, 07:11 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Tom_In_Cincy:</font><hr> a bad day at pool is still better than a Bad day at work.<hr /></blockquote>I was having a bad league night, and my opponent reminded me: "At least you're not at work!" Instant change of spirit and attitude. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Troy
01-15-2004, 07:23 PM
And I always thought it was "a bad day at pool is better than a good day at work".... /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Tom_In_Cincy:</font><hr>.... a bad day at pool is still better than a Bad day at work. <hr /></blockquote>

JimS
01-15-2004, 07:30 PM
I always relied on booze and drugs, good booze, good drugs and lots of each. That's why I recently celebrated 22 years in AA /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Since those options are no longer options for this resentful hot-headed unmanageable person I've learned to either meditate or burn off the energy physically with some sort of physical work or exercise.....both of which I hate. So, I've gotten GOOD at mediation!

Both meditation and physical activity work but you have to work at either/both and I've found that the older I get the more life pisses me off so I've needed to do more of both in order to maintain some semblance of sanity and to avoid mood-altering drugs.

I guess that the older I get the more my expectations that people will treat each other with respect become violated and the less I am able to just write that off and "forget" it. /ccboard/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

If you happen to know any recovering alcoholics or drug addicts they would probably be more than happy to share with you their methods of coping with life. "We" have to go to any lenghts to avoid our drug(s) so many of us have gotten really good at any number of coping skills. We simply can't afford to let stress build up within. It is literally deadly.

tateuts
01-15-2004, 09:01 PM
Kato,

In your case, I find this post surprising because you are one of the generally more positive people on the board and are usually cheerful. Really, I've always enjoyed your demeanor and great sense of humor. I am sure you have a ton of friends, here and at work.

For these reasons, I know it will pass and you will quickly rebound. My hobbies have always been my great escape, but when the pressure is too great, there is no escape.

There is no simple little trick to make everyday life stop bothering you. If you think having a pressure filled job is nerve racking, try having your own business sometime! I am pretty sure you can improve your situation at work by being a little more assertive and a more aggressive in dealing with the issues confronting you. No one person should be getting too much heat - that usually means mismanagement somewhere along the line and inefficiency somewhere else.

The issue really is, how much pressure and responsibility are you willing to accept, and what you can do to change things to reach an acceptable level. It takes fortitude but it's entirely do-able.

Chris

tateuts
01-15-2004, 09:05 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Iowashark:</font><hr> As an accountant I'm having this problem right now being the end of the fiscal period. Went on Ebay last night and bought myself a new cue. I don't need it, but yet I can't wait until it gets here. Even though it adds more clutter into my already clogged brain, now I'm constantly thinking about one thing or the other, whether it be good or bad. It does however seem to balance the chaos.

<hr /></blockquote>

Gotta love it! Women get frustrated and buy shoes, we buy cues. As an accountant, you will probably appreciate the fact that I've made a small profit on most of the cues I've bought and re-sold!

stickman
01-16-2004, 12:12 AM
Miller Lite! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif Honestly, the serenity prayer helps me. I try to do what I can do, and if I can't do anything, I say a prayer to God to do what he can, and then try to leave it alone. Usually works for me. /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Ralph S.
01-16-2004, 12:15 AM
Kato, I as well asvirtually everyone in the working world, has experienced problems like you are encountering now. I really don't know what advice to give you. All I can say, is to keep an open mindand think positive. I beleive you will be able to deal with this in a positive way.

nhp
01-16-2004, 03:05 AM
Try planning a cheap vacation so you can get away when you have the free time. When I had my nose in the books for weeks during midterms and finals, I planned a trip to Las Vegas for New Years with my girlfriend and some friends. It really helped me overlook all the stress, because I had something to look forward to, just thinking about it put me in a good mood. Once I was there, I had so much fun, not only because it was Vegas on New Years, but also because all the stress from full-time college was over for the time being. Just try and plan something that you can really look forward to, it will help you get past the present when you are looking forward to the future. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Kato
01-16-2004, 07:07 AM
For the record, I'm ok now. It was really just 2 very difficult days in a row. I really just let it go, it just took a few days.

Popcorn, 10 years I've had at my job (no way you could know that) and I really love what I do. Believe it or not I hold the highest position that isn't in management or involve keys/ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif so of course a little stress is going to come down the pike. I just need to work at it. My recent promotion has added an element I'm not used to.

Chris, thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it. As you may guess I tend to needle my friends a little bit and I try to make it worth reading. I guess our sense of humor might be somewhat similiar. Good to know there are others out there like me that are a "tad" off tilt.

Everyone else thank you. It's Friday, easy work day, long lunch, just basically maintenance work so I'm good. Nice weekend to come. Picked up a case of beer and I'm good to go (I'll drink 4 beers this weekend but it's good to know I COULD get hammered if I wanted to.

JimS, I might take a look into meditation. I'm definitely going to start exercising again, that will help.

Kato~~~thank you

PS. Generally I'm a pretty happy person. Most of you that have met me personally know how I am, that rarely changes.

Cueless Joey
01-16-2004, 11:45 AM
I was in a very stressful retail job for 14 years.
It was awful. I did it for money but I was finally fed up.
Put myself through school and couldn't be happier now.
Wally, I'm gonna learn Mastercam too b/c my work here is so slooooooow. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Actually, I have to learn Mastercam if I want to make cues with inlays and points. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
I don't really have no idea how I got through the stress of my old job except I just knew I was leaving that place someday. The money I was saving was the thing that made me strong.

Wally_in_Cincy
01-16-2004, 11:52 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Cueless Joey:</font><hr>
...I have to learn Mastercam if I want to make cues with inlays and points. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif... <hr /></blockquote>

Had not heard of that. Just checked their homepage. For making cues, I would assume can you can get by with a 3-axis program ?? /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif

Cueless Joey
01-16-2004, 12:03 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote Cueless Joey:</font><hr>
...I have to learn Mastercam if I want to make cues with inlays and points. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif... <hr /></blockquote>

Had not heard of that. Just checked their homepage. For making cues, I would assume can you can get by with a 3-axis program ?? /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif <hr /></blockquote>
With Mastercam you can do the drawings and generate the G-codes there too. Plus, you're already zeroed and dimensioned on it.
I have Autcad 2004 too but was told why even bother b/c you will have to save drawing then generate to codes with Mastercam. Mastercam is expensivvvvve. Luckily, I am the tech to one of our classrooms which has Mastercam and SolidWorks.

Keith Talent
01-16-2004, 12:18 PM
Kato,

Thought you'd get over it pretty quick, because, like Chris said, you're one of the more upbeat and entertaining pool addicts around here.

So, do you have to take work home with you, or is it over for the day when you walk out the door? The latter, of course, has got to be way better for your mental health, not to mention those ball-in-hands.

And what about those lessons you were going to be giving? Have they started? Maybe you're agonizing over them subconsciously?
Still, it oughta be a great experience for ya ...

Cheers from NYC, where temperature appears to have escaped the single digits. At 3 a.m. when I left the ph this morning, it was about 0 and there was blowing snow on Broadway ... looked more like Bismarck than the Big Apple. Imagine trying to cheer yourself up under them circumstances! LOL.

Rod
01-16-2004, 12:25 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I'm having a problem, mental, and it's bad, I think. <hr /></blockquote>

I was wondering when you were going to admit that. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Sorry RJ I just had to. LOL Good luck with your problem, I'd be the last person that should offer any advice. I will say that similar has happened to me over the years and I just hat to re-group and put things in perspective.

Rod

Kato
01-16-2004, 12:45 PM
Sure I guess I could take home print outs and things and work from home but that's never going to happen. Like alot of folks I'm supposed to work from 8-5 with my one hour lunch. Usually though it's from 7-6 with no lunch break depending on the situations. Then again it equals out because I get a few 2 hour business lunches and once and a while hit the golf course for 9 holes, oh yeah, I'm pretty much always on the CCB. I very rarely think about work when I'm out of work. I just think I got extremely wound up by something that probably wouldn't normally adversely effect me which is why I got weirded out like that. I'm pretty sure I went into it with this in mind, "I had a bad day, my shoulders and neck are really tight, I can't make a ball, it's a bad idea if I play today because I'm going to hurt the team". I did proceed to torture myself after that and continued to do so until George beat me so bad I was exhasted from racking. There was no fight, no confidence, no swagger, no nothing. Other than relationship breakups I can't remember ever feeling so terrible.

I've given my class alot of thought and I've got my first few lessons inside my head, ready to go. I'll be practicing a 5 minute speech this weekend for the opening of my class.

A lot of you that know me personally know I'm a little like a top, just waiting for someone to give me a spin. When the energy gets released you see what can happen. 99% of the time I'm all positive energy but that 1% really bothers me and when it comes off it's an awful sight and I hate that feeling. Now you know.

Kato

PS. Ray, thanks for the compliment, that's very kind.

Rich R.
01-16-2004, 12:51 PM
It is easier said than done, but you have to learn to leave the job, on the job. Once you walk out the door, don't think about it until you walk back in the next day.

Keep you professional and your personal lives seperated, as much as possible.

Aboo
01-16-2004, 05:38 PM
Ok, this is probably going to sound different than most, but here goes.

I'm a computer programmer, the only one on a major, business critical application for a managed mental health care company. I've been at this job for almost 5 years and I know the systems and their quirks better than anyone. At least I like to think that. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif As you can guess, I get a LOT of crap from all sides. MOST of the time, like you, I can just "let it go" because it's really not personal and if there is really nothing you can do about it, then why worry? Right?

But, (I know! There's always a butt) sometimes things can get personal. Personal critisim of my work ethic and commitment to quality REALLY bugs me. This is what I do...

I find a nice newspaper machine. One of the hollow metal ones that is nearly empty of newspapers at the end of the day. Then I punch it. Hard.

It lets off stress and if you hit it hard enough you laugh about how stupid you were. Not to hard though, and not with your bridge hand.

Ralph S.
01-16-2004, 06:58 PM
Glad to hear you are over the problem with work Kato. Now all you have to do is drink a few of those beers for me. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

houstondan
01-16-2004, 07:00 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Aboo:</font><hr>I find a nice newspaper machine. One of the hollow metal ones that is nearly empty of newspapers at the end of the day. Then I punch it. Hard.

It lets off stress and if you hit it hard enough you laugh about how stupid you were. Not to hard though, and not with your bridge hand. <hr /></blockquote>

yep, there it is; fight or flight. until those machines learn to do one or the other - they're gunna get hit!

ok, true confessions time and i can't lay this one off to being young or drunk or anything. it was 3 weeks ago. some folks know that i have 3 identical predator spw cues. well, they're not so identical anymore. seems one of em, the red dot one (i put stickey dots on 'em to tell em apart) was acting up. not shooting straight. well, you let one of 'em get away with it and pretty soon...an example had to be made. holding the shaft, swung the butt, in an upstroke, into a chair. separated at the joint and, appropriate as hell, the butt flew up in the air and came down on the top of my head. fortunately it didn't damage anything i was using at the time. did you know that the pred. spw splits at the shaft and the butt. both?

i am not a tempramental person. if anything, i'm too controlled but boy did i let it go there. felt better too. till the butt came down. gotta get cornbreads to install a newspaper machine.

dan...and then there were two.