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View Full Version : Joke time. I liked this one



Kato
01-30-2004, 02:45 PM
THE APPRECIATED GIFT

>
>Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and
>lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner
>together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their
>elderly mother who lived far away in another city.
>
>The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
>
>The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house
>"
>
>The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600."
>
>The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the Bible
>and you know she can't read it anymore because she can't see very well. I
>met this priest who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible.
> It took twenty priests 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute
>$100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama
>just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
>
>The other brothers were impressed.
>
>After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.
>
>She wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room,
>but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."
>
>"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered,
>so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
>
>"Michael, you give me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold
>50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly
>blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
>
>"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a
>little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you!"

Kato~~~didn't write this.

UWPoolGod
01-30-2004, 03:24 PM
Someone at the bar tourney the other day had a list of very offensive jokes from an e-mail or online that was "guaranteed to offend everyone at least once." A few I remember:

1. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

Men will actually search for a golf ball.

2. Why did God create yeast infections?

So women know what its like to live with a irritating (C-word) /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

3. Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?

Acne usually waits to come on a boys face when their 13 years old.

eg8r
01-30-2004, 03:26 PM
LOL. That had to be the worst tasting "chicken" ever. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

eg8r

Wally_in_Cincy
01-30-2004, 03:34 PM
Buddy of mine came in the bar the other night and said "I think my wife is dead"

I said "What makes you think that?"

He said "Well the sex is the same but the dishes are piling up"