View Full Version : What a Dilemma...

04-10-2004, 02:50 AM
This is the last place I thought I'd ever ask for advice on women, but alot of people here seem to have good heads on their shoulders.

Here is my problem- I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 2 years, I am 24 she is 21. For the past few weeks we've been kind of rocky, she seems to have changed on me. We spend less time together, and she told me she would like more freedom. I don't mind this at all, in fact it was the other way around a few months ago. I told her I wanted more freedom. After trying to patch things up and spend more time with her, and do nice things for her, she has kind of been pushing me away. This has caused me to lose some interest in our relationship, so I have started eyeing other women. There is this one girl in particular whom I always have thought was beautiful, and recently out of coincidence that I am having trouble with my girlfriend, she has started flirting with me. I have tried talking to my girlfriend, but to no avail. She doesn't want to talk about our issues. I tried asking friends of hers (and mine) who know her pretty well, and they told me just to give her more time, she is going thru a transition now that she is 21. I am tempted to break off our relationship and pursue this other girl, but I have a feeling I might regret it (this has happened before a few years ago, and I did regret it). Everyone is telling me to wait until I am sure I want to break it off, but this other girl might think I am not interested in her. My problem is that I am interested in them both, but would prefer to stay with my girl if we could go back to the way we used to be. I'm not so sure that's ever gonna happen. I am thinking my girlfriend might just end up breaking up with me, and I'm stuck with neither of them. What do you think I should do? Thanks in advance...

04-10-2004, 03:51 AM
Dump chick "A", grab chick "B"

Happy to help...


04-10-2004, 06:18 AM
There is an old saying that says
"Hold on to what you got untill you get what you want"
Hope things work out well for you.

04-10-2004, 12:11 PM

Tell your current lady how you feel as soon as possible. You might be surprised.

The NEW lady is nothing more than an 'alternative' to your present conflict. Don't let this lady influence what you should be doing with your current lady.

This sounds like a problem you and your currtent lady have to work out. The sooner the better.

There will always be alternatives. Right now you have a problem... work on it first.

Chris Cass
04-10-2004, 11:56 PM
I don't want to say this but I'm thinking the girlfriend has someone else in mind and wants to have you make the move. She may not know how to break it off and surely doesn't want to look bad. I think she might have someone already. Either way, you have to get things out in the open. Turning 21 means only that the bars are open.

Sorry to hear,


Ralph S.
04-11-2004, 01:12 AM
Chris, I was afraid to say and hoped someone else would. I feel for nhp. I have been in that situation as virtually all of us have at some point in life. I just hope he doesnt let it drag on or it will just make things worse.

04-11-2004, 04:44 AM
Two years is a long time and you are both young-it seems you are lacking respect in your relationship:
She does not want to talk about issues hurting you and you are looking at other girls!
Confront her again and ask her "whats up"-if it doesnt work out, end it!
I'm stuck with neither of them <hr /></blockquote>
There are MANY fish in the sea-jumping into another relationship without resolving your current one is a means for disaster-you cant find happiness in another if you still have "ghosts in your closet"
Gather your self-esteem and confidence back of who you are and Im certain the right person will come along!You seem like a nice guy!
Good luck!

04-11-2004, 06:36 PM
With her being 21, she's probably wondering "What else is out there?" Basically you're all she has known since high school and we all know how those relationships go. You're probably her first real serious person, and she will naturally wonder what else is there. You're ready to settle and she's not. She's feeling the pressure. Split for 6 months to a year if need be, and let get the feel of life. If she comes back it was meant to be if not it's her loss.

DG - been there done that