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View Full Version : Finally the Truth! ...from a man's perspective



dg-in-centralpa
05-05-2004, 05:45 PM
>
> > Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
> >
> > How many men does it take to open a beer?
> > None. It should be opened when she brings it.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> > Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
> > never be able to support you.
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> > It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
> > them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
> > When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > How do you fix a woman's watch?
> > You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why do men fart more than women?
> > Because women can't shut up long enough to
> > build up the required pressure.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?
> > The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> > A woman who won't do what she's told.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > I married a Miss Right.
> > I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
> > a woman's sex drive by 90%.
> > It's called a Wedding Cake.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why do men die before their wives?
> > They want to.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Women will never be equal to men until they can
> > walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
> > gut, and still think they are sexy.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
> > Then God created Man and rested.
> > Then God ! created Woman.
> > Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
> > to the select few women who can handle the truth

moblsv
05-05-2004, 08:26 PM
These always give me a good laugh but I believe women should be admired and placed on a pedestal.

just high enough to see up thier skirts /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

nAz
05-05-2004, 09:01 PM
LOL, hehe DG is Cruising for a Bruising. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Nightstalker
05-05-2004, 09:53 PM
A lot of those are more true than most admit, thanks for the laughs! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Chris Cass
05-06-2004, 12:19 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh Duaine, your in deep kimshe. I can see the headlines now, "Man gets beating from internet woman." /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

C.C.~~got a laugh out of me.

dg-in-centralpa
05-06-2004, 01:10 PM
C.C. - not only from an internet woman but my wife as well. I had to explain that these were jokes.

DG - only kidding, she does have a sense of humor...she married me didn't she

Chris Cass
05-06-2004, 01:14 PM
K-Mom doesn't have a sence of humor. Atleast not mine. She thinks my jokes aren't funny and when women are concerned she thinks they're really not funny.

/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif,

C.C.

Nightstalker
05-06-2004, 01:58 PM
Does she think that jokes at the expense of men are funny? /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

dg-in-centralpa
05-06-2004, 02:57 PM
Personally I laugh at both male and female jokes. I'm an equal opportunity offender.

DG - everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have film