View Full Version : Tell Me If You Think I Was Wrong....
Today I was at school from 3pm-10pm. Recently they just imposed a new law at my school that people cannot smoke within 20 feet of any doors to the buildings. I was sitting down chatting with a friend while smoking a cigarette, in an area apparently designated for smokers, because there was 2 ashtrays on both sides of the bench. A lady approached me and said, "There is no smoking on campus, put out that cigarette right now!" very rudely. I stared at her for a second, shocked at how rude she was and said, "I'm sorry if the smoke is bothering you, but there is smoking allowed on campus, just not within 20..." and she immediately cut me off and said she was going to find a security guard to give me a ticket. At that point I gestured towards the ash trays, and she went on saying "I can't stand idiots like you who come here and disrespect this campus by blowing your smoke in other people's faces". Then I said, "Look lady, this is the smoking area, that's why there are ashtrays here. You walked up to me and started complaining, I didn't walk up to you and blow smoke in your face." She cut me off again, and said "Put out that goddamn cigarette right now!" At that point, I got really upset, and I stood up and yelled at the top of my lungs, "I'll tell you what, as soon as they get rid of the ashtrays, and post up a big f***in sign that says NO SMOKING, I won't smoke here. Until then, MIND YOUR OWN F***IN BUSINESS B***CH!!!" After that the lady said she was gonna make a report about my conduct and she stormed off. Do you think I had a right to get so angry? This exactly what happened, I even have witnesses who saw the whole thing. Do you think I could get in any trouble for this?
By the way, I am usually very courteous when I smoke. I try not to stand around any people who are not smoking. At this time, I was talking to a friend who smokes, but he wasn't smoking at the time.
05-12-2004, 01:16 AM
Well, yes, Nat, you were wrong.
Explain that you that you are smoking in a smoking area.
If she objects, politely inform her where to register a complaint.
If she further objects, explain FORCEFULLY that I DON'T KNOW YOU AND I DON'T WANT YOU TALKING TO ME.
If this doesn't work, call the cops. You are being harassed.
I did say that to her. She didn't seem like she wanted to listen. She kept cutting me off before I could finish, and she was getting in my face. I just kind of blew a fuse I guess. I was polite at first, but she kept pushing it.
05-12-2004, 03:34 AM
Take a huge drag off your smoke and blow it slowly in her face. Say, "Hey, you know, you're kind of cute when you're mad"
05-12-2004, 06:43 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote nhp:</font><hr> ....Do you think I had a right to get so angry?..<hr /></blockquote>
I rarely get so pissed that I lose control but when I do it's ugly. If people push your butoons like that what do they expect.
I am not sure you did anything wrong, but quite possibly your tolerance level was a bit low. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif If smoking is allowed, and you are in a smoking area, then she has no grounds to stand on.
Knowing the way people are sue-happy these days, it would not suprise me to find out she has reported this as an attack. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif That would suck.
05-12-2004, 07:41 AM
You really shouldn't yell at the head of the school that way. /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif
In the mean time, you may want to check with the school administration, to find out if the smoking rules have been changed, and report her actions.
Gayle in MD
05-12-2004, 07:42 AM
Hey man, don't sweat it, you're only human. I'm sure if you had it to do over again, with hind sight, you'd handle it differently, but when someone is in your face, it's really hard to keep it together, especially when you know your right.
If I were in your shoes though, since she sounds like a nut in the firts place, I'd beat her to the punch and report her for harrassing you while you were smoking in the smoking area, LOL.
Gayle in Md., why can't folks just leave each other alone?
05-12-2004, 08:34 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote highsea:</font><hr> Take a huge drag off your smoke and blow it slowly in her face. Say, "Hey, you know, you're kind of cute when you're mad" <hr /></blockquote>
and then ask her if she wants to play some cheap 9 ball /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
05-12-2004, 09:56 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote nhp:</font><hr>I stood up and yelled at the top of my lungs
Do you think I had a right to get so angry?
By the way, I am usually very courteous when I smoke.<hr /></blockquote>Getting very angry is a natural reaction to this stimulus. It's your expression of that anger that might have been inappropriate.
It's nice that you're a courteous smoker. When I see discourteous smokers, I often want to let them know that they're giving all smokers a bad name, but figure they don't care anyway.
Now that you've experienced this type of anger once, you'll be able to better handle it if it comes up again in the future.
Just remember these few words of wisdom:
Never argue with an idiot; people watching can't tell which is which!
Never argue with an idiot; they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!
Avoid wrestling with pigs; you both get dirty and the pig likes it!
You lost your cool and looked bad as a result. You could have said many things or laughed at her, but what you said wasn't cool. Once she told me "put out the go----- cigarette now" I would have been rolling with laughter. I would calmly point out to her how stupid what she said was. I would be extremely insulting, but would use no profanity and wouldn't raise my voice.
Once upon a time a do gooder granola hippie type approached me on a campus while I was smoking. This was outside and smoking was allowed. But she approached me and wanted to give me a health lecture. She said smoking was bad for me bla bla. I said of course it was bad for me, only an idiot didn't know that. But I told her I didn't really care and it wasn't her problem. She said she was only lecturing me because she cared about me. I said excellent, since you care about me let's go have sex. I wasn't her type (male) so she declined, but never bothered me about smoking again. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
05-12-2004, 09:56 PM
While i think you were in the right in standing up for your rights, i cannot condone your hostile attitude. I feel that you had other options, like walking away from her, or just putting it out til she left. how old was this woman. I think i would have put out the smoke, asked her her name and reported her to the main office on campus as harrassing you and filed a complaint like someone else on here had suggested. Regardless, you should always respect your much older citizens...lol...I have recently become a nonsmoker, it has been about 3 months, you cannot smoke in the pool halls here and everybody stands outside the door smoking. I would never ask someone to not smoke as i have enjoyed many a cigarette in my day...............mike
05-12-2004, 10:00 PM
Zat a reply like "I guess that means a "Monica" in the parking lot is out of the question, huh?" ;-)) sid
I found out today from a security guard that she had an incident last semester doing the same thing with another student. She is about 35 years old. In that incident she told a student while they were arguing that if he didn't put it out she'd shove it up his a**. He said I wasn't in the wrong because she followed me and got in my face, and it was good that I didn't make any threats. He said if she does anything like that again, they will kick her out of the school.
Usually I am very polite and soft-spoken, especially with older people. At the beginning of this incident I was very respectful, and said everything politely. The way she was talking to me was very disrespectful, and it was actually quite embarassing because she was in my face yelling at me in front of alot of people. I didn't get so mad because I was embarassed, I just couldn't believe how rude and extremely disrespectful she was being when I was trying to keep my composure. When I yelled at her and cussed her out, people all they way across the campus could hear it, and she pretty much shut up. I feel kind of bad for saying such things to her, but at that moment I couldn't control it. I'm surprised I didn't make any threats, I haven't been that pissed in a long time.
05-13-2004, 06:33 AM
she probly just doesn't like men in general /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif
if she comes after your crotch with a sraight razor don't be surprised. she probly has a castration fantasy
05-13-2004, 08:56 PM
Well nhp, what can i say. she followed you then gave you trouble. /ccboard/images/graemlins/mad.gif Heck,,,,35 is not that old. Maybe all she needs is a good man to "light" her up /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif....maybe you should have offered........................................mik e
05-13-2004, 11:16 PM
HAHAHAHAHA Mike, she was hot for his butt. LOL /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif
05-16-2004, 12:56 AM
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