wolfdancer
05-13-2004, 10:43 PM
Kids and Religion
What I learned in Hebrew School and what I learned in Catechism.
These are written by children and have not been retouched or corrected,
poor spelling and all!
1. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they
had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals..
2. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the
ten amendments.
3. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat
the apple.
4. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
5. Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
6. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
7. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the
liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of
people who lived in Biblical times.
8. Soloman, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
9. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
10. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do
one to others before they do one to you.
11. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and
managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
12. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
;
13. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached
holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
14. Most religions teach us to have only one spouse.
This is called monotony.
What I learned in Hebrew School and what I learned in Catechism.
These are written by children and have not been retouched or corrected,
poor spelling and all!
1. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they
had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals..
2. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the
ten amendments.
3. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat
the apple.
4. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
5. Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
6. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
7. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the
liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of
people who lived in Biblical times.
8. Soloman, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
9. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
10. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do
one to others before they do one to you.
11. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and
managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
12. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
;
13. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached
holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
14. Most religions teach us to have only one spouse.
This is called monotony.