moblsv
05-14-2004, 02:55 PM
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIBERALS, CONSERVATIVES & SOUTHERNERS
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous-looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would incite him to hate me? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this
situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to my children and to society at large? Is it possible he'd be content with killing me only?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a weed and paint day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to discuss this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. We need a committee.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
rackety-click... (sounds of reloading)
Wife: Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?
Son: "Mama's right, Daddy, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.
Daughter: "Nice group, daddy! Were those Winchester Silver Tips or the Cor Bon Jacketed Hollowpoints?
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous-looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would incite him to hate me? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this
situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to my children and to society at large? Is it possible he'd be content with killing me only?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a weed and paint day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to discuss this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. We need a committee.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
rackety-click... (sounds of reloading)
Wife: Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?
Son: "Mama's right, Daddy, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.
Daughter: "Nice group, daddy! Were those Winchester Silver Tips or the Cor Bon Jacketed Hollowpoints?