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sack316
06-08-2004, 11:32 PM
Dave walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Dave with a laugh.

"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!" says Dave, "When are you going out?"

"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."

"Sensible" says Dave.

"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

(Paul slumps back over the bar again.) "I kicked her in the face"

dg-in-centralpa
06-09-2004, 03:41 PM
Cute! My father swears by duct tape. He has a roll in each vehicle and one of each color at his house. Never know when it will come in handy.

DG /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

sack316
06-09-2004, 05:51 PM
duct tape can do anything. I think it may even be the key to world peace. But if we can't have peace then we can always duct tape anything we destory back together at least!

dg-in-centralpa
06-09-2004, 06:55 PM
My father carries a change purse that you squeeze at the top to open. I think it's made from leather. Well this thing tore, so he has duct tape all around to hold it together. I offered to buy him another one, but no way. Not as long as duct tape is around. If that's not bad enough, my grandmother, 84 years old, sprays WD40 on her knees every morning when she wakes up. She swears that it helps her get moving. I thought she's going senile, but I'm wrong there. Every year for Christmas, she gets several cans of WD40.

DG - my family sounds dysfunctional, but really we are very sane

Wally_in_Cincy
06-10-2004, 06:14 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote dg-in-centralpa:</font><hr> My father carries a change purse that you squeeze at the top to open. I think it's made from leather. Well this thing tore, so he has duct tape all around to hold it together....<hr /></blockquote>

That's fine by me, as long as he can open and close it quickly in the express lane at the grocery store. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Overheard all too frequently: "I know I've got 37 cents in here somewhere" /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif