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dg-in-centralpa
06-17-2004, 06:46 PM
A man walking along a California beach was deep in
prayer. Suddenly the
sky
clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the
Lord said, "Because
you
have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will
grant you one
wish." The
man said, " Lord..could you build a Precast Concrete
Bridge to Hawaii
so I
can drive over whenever I want to ?." The Lord said,
"Your request is
very
materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for
that kind of
undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom
of the Pacific!
The
concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly
exhaust several
natural
resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to
justify your desire
for
worldly things. Take a little more time and think of
something that
would
honor and glorify me." The man thought about it for a
long time.
Finally he
said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I
want to know how
she
feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me
the silent
treatment,
why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's
wrong, and how I
can
make a woman truly happy." The Lord replied, "You want
two lanes or
four on
that bridge?"

DG - been married since '87 and still doesn't understand women

moblsv
06-17-2004, 08:03 PM
A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts."

"That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run
around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?

"The husband sighed. "Oh heck, it's started."