View Full Version : Any one going to Red Neck olympics ?

06-28-2004, 06:47 PM
Howdy Folks,
y`all know ,Red Neck olympics will be held in Dublin,Georgia this long weekend.I can`t go.Any one from here going?If u go,I like to hear about the fun u had.cheers
Vagabond /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Cueless Joey
06-28-2004, 08:18 PM
What events do they have?
Dove shooting contest? REAL doves? Ouch! I hope not.
100-meter beer run?
Tobacco-spitting contest?
Synchronized swimming with a carp?
Gymnastics on a real tree and horse?

06-29-2004, 04:20 AM
Howdy Cueless,
I never been to one.Some of the events are:
(1)Hub cap Hurling
(2)Armpit serenade
(3)Watermelon seed spitting
and many more fun events.
Vagabond /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

06-29-2004, 06:16 AM
competitive transmission rebuilding?

chicken neck wringing?

pickled egg eating contest?

triathalon includes baloney frying, bluegill cleaning, and butter-and-molasses mixing

shooting events include firing a 20 ga. at a US Hwy 41 sign from a moving car at 45 mph.

06-29-2004, 07:24 AM
"These events include the cigarette flip, the mudpit belly flop, bobbing for pigs feet, the big hair contest, the hubcap hurl, the seed spitting contest, bug zapper spitball, dumpster diving, and everyone's favorite, the armpit serenade."

06-29-2004, 07:58 AM
Skipping Rocks
The oldest and most traditional of all Redneck games. The heavy-weight division is most popular, as contestants try to skip bricks

Originated by an ancient Redneck trying to clean his yard. A great fling is not only a beautiful thing to watch, but often it is accompanied by the exciting sound of something breaking.

Not the most popular sport because most Rednecks agree that, "If you can't afford a motor, you can't afford a boat."

Long Jump
This sport is a Redneck favorite, since they all own numerous sets of jumper cables and all their vehicles have dead or dying batteries.

Hog Calling
The good ones can bring a sow into Times Square using only their voice. The great ones are often victims of sexual assault by live pork.

We're not talking about anything as sissy as following a blood trail. A good tracker can trail a grasshopper down the interstate. A favorite put down in this sport is, "You couldn't track a slug across a sheet of glass."

Field Hockey
Who can run the farthest through a cow pasture without stepping in "you know what." A real exciting game when played at night with flashlights.

Bush Hogging For Distance
Put her in drive and hold on tight! A blatant disregard for personal property is an essential for this game.

2x4 Relay
Originated at night on construction sites by people looking to enlarge their homes at budget prices.

06-29-2004, 08:24 AM
Opening Ceremony is a Skynyrd tape and a trunk full of bottle rockets.

The big event is the 100m. sisterchase.

Some folks like to show up in their yachts.


-CM /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

06-29-2004, 08:34 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Barbara:</font><hr> ....2x4 Relay
Originated at night on construction sites by people looking to enlarge their homes at budget prices.

<hr /></blockquote>

I've posted this before but it's a classic. It's written by a guy with a Redneck Neighbor.


An excerpt:

October 1997 - 1st Home beautification project
It's dark outside, I'm standing in front of my house and my neighbor does the following: He gets in his car, drives it up to the house on the other side of my house (this house is still being built). He backs his car up to the construction site and opens the trunk. He calmly proceeds to load up the trunk with bricks and 2x4s. Pretty clever, huh?

The following night, at around 9:00pm he decides it's time to build a mailbox post. It's very nice. He used the stolen 2x4s from the previous night. It looks like it's made out of 2x4s except he didn't steal any that were long enough so he nails a couple of them together to get the correct height - I mean, it has to look just right! The mailbox post is not very sturdy so he braces it with an additional 2x4 (at an angle). Click here to see the mailbox (no bracing 2x4 though).


06-29-2004, 12:16 PM
LOL...your post is a "classic"

06-30-2004, 10:53 AM
Hey....get off of my countrymen LOL
Our annual town fair is next weekend...here is the link to Amboy,WA (http://www.amboywa.com/territorial.htm)

06-30-2004, 04:59 PM
Wally, thanks for posting that. It's pretty hilarious, and I have to admire the guy who created the site for his sense of humor and persistance in documenting his neighbor's idiocy.

I laughed out loud when I saw the guy's SECOND renovation of his mailbox. The one where he bricked it in with the flag stuck in the up position and stuck a Christ statue on top.. the whole thing was quite a "work of art"! Of course burning down his own yard AND his own back deck on separate occasions was quite an accomplishment as well. Truly a classic. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif