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dg-in-centralpa
08-01-2004, 09:19 AM
GUIDE TO NEWSPAPERS

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but
don't really understand The New York Times.? They do, however, like
their
statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who would not mind running
the
country - if they could find the time - and if they didn't have to leave
Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who are not too sure who's
running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat
on
the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the
country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while
intoxicated and/or naked.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country
but
need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there
is
a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that
they stand for.? There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are
handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be
illegal
aliens from any other country or galaxy - provided, of course that they
are
not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
grocery
store.

DG - not sure where I fall in