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9 Ball Girl
08-02-2004, 09:11 PM
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDM first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net . Which number are you calling from sir?
Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?
Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer: The HSS, what is that?
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little
awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see
here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke..
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this..Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!

catscradle
08-03-2004, 04:40 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> Operator: snip <hr /></blockquote>

Very clever and maybe prophetic. Of course they won't need to ask for his NID, they'll have equipment to read his voice print. /ccboard/images/graemlins/mad.gif
I have a quote from the American humorist Ogden Nash I keep taped to my monitor,
"Progress was alright once, but it has gone on too long."

Vagabond
08-03-2004, 05:11 AM
We already entered the age of Fascism/Gustapoism.Thanks for the American Ta#$bon.
Life is not going to be cheerful any more
By the way I want my Jalpenos on my Pizza. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Vagabond

Wally_in_Cincy
08-03-2004, 07:03 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Vagabond:</font><hr> We already entered the age of Fascism/Gustapoism.Thanks for the American Ta#$bon.
<hr /></blockquote>

I know you're joking but quite frankly I am sick of hearing this. You forgot to call Dubya "Hitler" but I guess the title of your post covers that.

Vagabond
08-05-2004, 04:59 AM
Howdy Wally,
Why do u want to bring Dubya into the picture? U are over extending your imagination.Just like u express your opinions/beliefs on this board,others also can express.u will miss the fun if u get sick so soon.Get used to it.cheers
Vagabond /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

highsea
08-05-2004, 10:19 AM
Wendy, before I moved back to Seattle, I used to order pizza from this place in Olympia that had a computerized system with caller ID. When the phone rang, the computer would ID the caller and pull up any previous orders, notes, etc. It would go something like this:

(Phone rings)
Pizza Place: Hi, Casey.
Me: Umm, Hi
Pizza Place: Want to order a pizza?
Me: Yea
Pizza Place: Medium thin-crust Pepperoni and Olives?
Me: ok
Pizza Place: You want him to call when he gets to the gate?
Me: ok
Pizza Place: You want bread sticks again?
Me: sure
Pizza Place: Okay, 30 minutes.
Me: ok, thanks.

Actually, it was kinda neat, but I wonder what they will be like in 2018?

landshark77
08-24-2004, 08:25 AM
Found this (http://www.aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf). /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif