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dg-in-centralpa
08-12-2004, 07:50 PM
12. Life is sexually transmitted.

11. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without
an erection, make him a sandwich!

9. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person
to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

8. Some people are like Slinkies.....not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the
stairs.

7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

5. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

4. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

3. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have
come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR 2004:

Many terrorists come to America legally and hang around on expired
visas (some for as long as 10-15 years). Now take Blockbuster, for
example. You're two days late with a video rental and those people
are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of US
immigration.

DG

wolfdancer
08-12-2004, 09:50 PM
"Many terrorists come to America legally and hang around on expired visas (some for as long as 10-15 years). Now take Blockbuster, for example. You're two days late with a video rental and those people are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of US immigration."
AND...the since the FDA is able to track down the lineage, and birthplace of every cow...why not give each "suspect" immigrant....a cow???

dg-in-centralpa
08-13-2004, 03:08 PM
Works for me!

DG

nhp
08-13-2004, 03:32 PM
Those were hilarious, except I didn't get the politics one. Can you explain?

Cueless Joey
08-13-2004, 03:35 PM
Just give their names to Amway recruiters.
They'll leave the country. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

dg-in-centralpa
08-13-2004, 06:30 PM
The worlds' oldest profession is prostitution. Politics is like that.
DG