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Rip
08-30-2004, 08:32 PM
If you're attending the Open and decide to do some sightseeing while in the area....
Hampton Roads Virginia (in a nut shell)

For the purposes of this document, we will refer to the area as "Norfolk", pronounced exactly that way by Northerners who settle here. Southerners who settle here pronounce it "Nawfalk", sailors pronounce it "No****" and everyone else calls it Norfick". The word "Norfolk" actually originated in Southern England, gradually over time as a combination of the words "North"and "Folk", their way of referring to their brethren to the north, very much like our own term "Goddamnyankees."
Norfolk is composed entirely of Roads under Construction. The year-round seasonal weather allows for year-round construction. The only way to get into downtown is to move there. Don't worry about getting out. Those arrangements will be made by your next of kin.
All directions start with "Get on 64.." and include the phrase "Turn at the 7-Eleven." Most people navigate the area using Interstate 64 because of oddball location naming. The immediate problem here is that to access western portions of the area, you have to travel I-64 East. I-64, the largest interstate in the state, has two exits that serve Virginia Beach, the largest city in Virginia.
The land mass of the beach area is approximately 1% of the city's total land area.
The city of Portsmouth is not at the port's mouth - that would be Norfolk.

The city of Chesapeake is named for the Chesapeake Bay, 15 miles away.
Newport News is not a newspaper. The city is, in fact, served by The Daily Press newspaper, based in Hampton.

South Norfolk is in Chesapeake and "Suffolk", an old English combination of 'South" and "Folk" is not south of Norfolk, rather west.

Hampton Boulevard is in Norfolk and does not go to Hampton.

Northampton Boulevard is not in the north of Hampton. It is 22 miles southeast of Hampton, in Virginia Beach.

Chesapeake Boulevard runs parallel to Hampton Boulevard and does not go to Chesapeake.
Virginia Beach Boulevard starts in Norfolk and only becomes a boulevard when you reach Virginia Beach.

Portsmouth Boulevard is in Chesapeake.

There is no Norfolk Boulevard but there is a Norfolk Avenue in Virginia Beach. It does not go to Norfolk.

Atlantic Avenue parallels the Atlantic Ocean. Strangely, so does Pacific Avenue.

Chesapeake Beach, nicknamed "Chick's Beach", is in Virginia Beach. Chicks do not go there.

Meanwhile, Ocean View Avenue has no view of the ocean unless you use a high-powered telescope and a crane. Bayview is too far from the Bay to see it and Riverview has no view of any rivers. Shore Drive has no shore but runs along beside miles and miles of military bases. Military Highway, an apt name for the main thoroughfare of a primarily military area, will not actually take you to any military bases. Ironically, Independence Boulevard ends at one.

The Northwest River is actually in the Southeastern part of the area. Deep Creek contains no deep creeks. Great Bridge is an affluent area accessed by crossing a tiny drawbridge.

London Bridge Road has no connection to London and has no bridges. It is, however, falling apart.

The area of Dam Neck contains no dams. Oceana Boulevard does not come near the ocean. Norfolk Naval Shipyard is in Portsmouth. One of the largest Coast Guard bases on the east coast is in Portsmouth, 21 miles from the coast.

Hilltop, a mildly affluent shopping area, is not on a hill or near a hill. There are no cars at the Chrysler Museum. Scope is not a mouthwash- it's a convention center in Norfolk.

Sometime, just for fun, stop and ask a local for directions to "downtown Virginia Beach." Chances are, you will be sent to Norfolk. Virginia Beach has no downtown. They claim to but it is in fact a shopping district with five brown office buildings

No one carpools here, allowing the HOV-reversible lanes to be used by skateboarders during rush hours. All the toll booths were taken down a few years ago, creating one less place for traffic accidents to occur.

Everyone in the country lived here once or knew someone who did. You will be hard pressed to find a native of the area. Everyone here is from somewhere else, due mostly to the fact that Norfolk contains the largest naval base in the world. When you curse the drivers here for not being able to drive, you are cursing the drivers of the whole country.

Regards,
Rip /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Brady_Behrman
08-30-2004, 09:02 PM
WOW, very well put!

What a Great Post, Native of the area and you put it so well!

I applaud you!

Who are you?
Brady Behrman

Rip
08-30-2004, 09:56 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Brady_Behrman:</font><hr> WOW, very well put!

What a Great Post, Native of the area and you put it so well!

I applaud you!

Who are you?
Brady Behrman <hr /></blockquote>

Hi Brady! Yes, I'm a native of the Tidewater area but moved to the desert of Nevada 30 years ago. One of my uncles used to run Junior Gibbs' pool room and I believe he also worked for your dad many years ago. Junior Gibbs was a little before your time probably but your dad most likely knew him or knew of him.
Wishing you a great OPEN,
Rip~~misses the BBQ, seafood and Bill Deal and the Rhondels! /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Rip
08-30-2004, 10:41 PM
Sorry Brady, I forgot to answer your question! "who am I?"
My name is Robert Ripley and most people call me Rip.
Others call me dumba$$. /ccboard/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Regards,
Rip

Fred Agnir
08-31-2004, 06:16 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Rip:</font><hr>
My name is Robert Ripley and most people call me Rip.<hr /></blockquote>I believe it... or not.

Fred &lt;~~~ ba dum dumb

Wally_in_Cincy
08-31-2004, 07:17 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Rip:</font><hr>

Hampton Roads Virginia (in a nut shell)

Hampton Boulevard is in Norfolk and does not go to Hampton.

Northampton Boulevard is not in the north of Hampton. It is 22 miles southeast of Hampton, in Virginia Beach.

<hr /></blockquote>

Rip,

I'm staying at the Chesapeake Hampton. Should I assume that it is on Hampton Road or S. Northhampton Road or is it located in Richmond?

Thanks,

Wally

RedHell
08-31-2004, 07:55 AM
Dang, I'm glad I'll be driving there with a GPS and Streets and trips !!!

Leaving on Friday !!! YAhoooooooooooooooooooo !!!!

Rip
08-31-2004, 07:57 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote Rip:</font><hr>

Hampton Roads Virginia (in a nut shell)

Hampton Boulevard is in Norfolk and does not go to Hampton.

Northampton Boulevard is not in the north of Hampton. It is 22 miles southeast of Hampton, in Virginia Beach.

<hr /></blockquote>

Rip,

I'm staying at the Chesapeake Hampton. Should I assume that it is on Hampton Road or S. Northhampton Road or is it located in Richmond?

Thanks,

Wally <hr /></blockquote>

Wally, your hotel is actually located in Pennsylvania but the shuttle runs every 15 minutes to QMasters and the Chesapeake Convention Center! /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif
Have a blast!
Rip

Eric.
08-31-2004, 09:21 AM
Thanks for the *useful* info but I think what everyone really wants to know is:

Who is buried in Grant's tomb?


Eric &gt;speaking of *useful* info

Chris Cass
08-31-2004, 09:23 AM
John Gotty. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

9 Ball Girl
08-31-2004, 10:15 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Eric.:</font><hr> Thanks for the *useful* info but I think what everyone really wants to know is:

Who is buried in Grant's tomb? <hr /></blockquote>Jimmy Hoffa.

cueball1950
08-31-2004, 10:20 AM
a bottle of booze that grant is still looking for....mike

Kato
08-31-2004, 11:22 AM
Uh..........Grant?

Kato~~~is not buried in Grants tomb /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

CarolNYC
09-01-2004, 03:11 AM
Hiya RIP!!!!!!
Carol~smiling once again at 5 am /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

SPetty
09-01-2004, 07:16 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Rip:</font><hr>The word "Norfolk" actually originated in Southern England, gradually over time as a combination of the words "North"and "Folk", their way of referring to their brethren to the north, very much like our own term "Goddamnyankees." <hr /></blockquote>BWAAAHAAAAHAHAAAHAHAHAA!!! I mean, BWAAAHAAAAHAHAAAHAHAHAA!!! Love it.

Hey Rip, are you sure you can't make it so you can show us this stuff in person? Thanks for the info!

Barbara
09-01-2004, 07:26 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote SPetty:</font><hr>
Hey Rip, are you sure you can't make it so you can show us this stuff in person? <hr /></blockquote>

Don't you think the weather might mess up his perfect hair?

Barbara

Rip
09-01-2004, 06:04 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Barbara:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote SPetty:</font><hr>
Hey Rip, are you sure you can't make it so you can show us this stuff in person? <hr /></blockquote>

Don't you think the weather might mess up his perfect hair?

Barbara <hr /></blockquote>

You've heard the song "All My EX's Live In Texas"? Well, all my ex's aren't in Texas...they're in Virginia Beach and Chesapeake and --- the Tidewater area. I'm sure you guys will manage without me. I know it'll be difficult but be strong /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gifLOL!!
I'll just stay here in the desert protecting my hair! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Have a blast,
Rip

9 Ball Girl
09-02-2004, 09:28 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Rip:</font><hr>You've heard the song "All My EX's Live In Texas"? <hr /></blockquote>At least you didn't move to Tennessee!