View Full Version : Pool and Your Brain: Why you do what you do.

05-14-2002, 05:51 AM
Occipital Lobe: <font color=red>Vision</font color=red> This is the part of the brain that allows you to see the shots that you really cannot make. It will look at the table and tell you "Sure...you can make that four rail jump carom shot and still get shape on the two." What you really need to do is "push."

Parietal Lobe: <font color=red>Somatosensory information (kinesthesis and body awareness)</font color=red> This is the part of the brain that allows overweight pool players to believe they are really in good shape. In the mornings, when you step on the scale and it reads "TILT", you can say to yourself "Hmmm...looks like I lost a few pounds. Honey! Do we have any POP TARTS?"

Frontal Lobe: <font color=red>Higher order functions, planning, thinking, worrying</font color=red> This is the part of the brain that allows us to think "I can beat that guy...Hey buddy...I'll spot you the 7 and the breaks for a hundred." This part of the brain has no understanding of the financial obligations of the pool player. Why should it? It has a place to live, transportation and you feed it. It is wise to ignore the sensory impulses that are sent to you by this lobe.

Temporal Lobe: <font color=red>Speech center/ Auditory processing center</font color=red> This is the part of the brain that enables you to say "I left my wallet at home" after you lose that hundred. This lobe, in some people, can provide very convincing "material" in times of urgent need. Other times, it enables us to perform anatomically difficult feats such as "putting our feet in our mouths" and our "head up our ass."

Central Fissure: <font color=red>Divides, or separates, the somatosensory strip and the motor strip</font color=red> NEVER take your "somatosensory strip" or anything that has to do with stripping, for granted. This is the part of the brain that makes you want to go to "Strip Clubs." This is the only true "smart" part of the brain. Strip clubs cost you mere dollars at a time...pool, on the other hand, can ruin your life.

Somatosensory Strip(or post-central gyrus): <font color=red>Receives info. from the skin</font color=red> This part of the brain makes you sweat while down 6-0 in a race-to-7 for that hundred...or while getting that "Lap Dance" at "Al's Pink Pussy Cat."

Motor Strip(or pre-central gyrus):<font color=red> Motor controls</font color=red> This is the part of your brain that controls your stroke. This part of MY brain must sleep a lot. This part of your brain is modified by coffee, booze, strippers (male or female), short skirts (or tight Wranglers for you gals) and the realization that you just lost the mortage payment to some guy named "Cincinatti Slim."

Ear lobe: <font color=red>Ornamentation</font color=red> A place to hang your earrings. Of no value to the "thinking process."


Ken ("putting in the hours" to improve the lives of others)

05-14-2002, 06:26 AM
Okay Ken, you need to come up with a periodic table of "pharmaceuticals", and their effect on each of the sections of the brain. This would help me understand the desired effect when I match up with someone who believes in "Chemical Warfare". BTW - I would like to know what you were on when you thought I would give somebody with the screen name "Rackmup" the seven. ha ha ***Lester***

05-14-2002, 09:11 PM
I've evolved past that mundane psycho-scrabble you have very clearly expounded on. I have now reached the final plateau and am "Brain Dead"! No longer do I have to plan or even worry about angles and/or back-hand English! If you have any questions on how to achieve this nearly perfect state...please ask the others, I no longer have to or in fact, cannot, answer these types of questions.

05-14-2002, 09:30 PM
That's funny and I''m glad I read your post before Ken's as I could take your word for it. Thanks.

05-14-2002, 09:44 PM
This just in:

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>U.S. Scientists Craft Pool Playing Mouse With Human Brain Cells

U.S. researchers have produced pool-playing laboratory mice with human brain cells, as a potential step toward developing new "center ring" shows for the circus, neighborhood carnivals, shopping mall openings and wedding reception entertainment but promising to continue to fuel fresh debate over the evolving ethics of bioengineering. The research at a California biopoolcuetechnology company known as "Mickey Meets Mosconi Inc." breaks new ground by demonstrating that human brain stem cells can be induced to grow within a mouse's skull, scientists said on Friday. Three top level players on the WPBA are rumored to have donated brain cells for further research. <hr></blockquote>

Are you one of these Cheese?


Ken (look...I'm 4 away from being an official "addict!")

05-14-2002, 09:56 PM
You maybe on to something. I've been getting these sudden urges to garden for christ sakes and my back is killing me and oh ya, I'm starting to like it when other mice wink at me. Oh man, I'm in trouble.

P.S. you'll be addicted by mid-night.

05-15-2002, 01:24 AM
Um, yea, definately man, I'll keep it in mind!