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landshark77
09-22-2004, 07:27 AM
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my
excuse; I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the
truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply
mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up
to
coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to
explain the bandage on the top of my head.

The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to
adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my
wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage disposal is
dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
pitter-patter
and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"

There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a
second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged
nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as
extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under
the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.

No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth.

It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she
spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and
stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I
was most vulnerable le, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and
snagged them with her needle-like claws.

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly
rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging
from my masculine region. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a fight or
flight syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.

I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when
the
sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact
knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not
many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen
floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-here, done-that" paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all
snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying
to
suppress their hysterical laughter.... and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in
to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me
about
my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about.
Which it was.

"What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"

If they only knew...

Barbara
09-22-2004, 08:05 AM
LOL!!

On of my favorite calling-in-sick lines is, "I'm having a problem with my eyes. I can't see coming in today."

Barbara

landshark77
09-22-2004, 10:31 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Barbara:</font><hr> LOL!!

On of my favorite calling-in-sick lines is, "I'm having a problem with my eyes. I can't see coming in today."

Barbara <hr /></blockquote>

I LOVE that one...I'll have to use it one day.

eg8r
09-22-2004, 10:37 AM
[ QUOTE ]
On of my favorite calling-in-sick lines is, "I'm having a problem with my eyes. I can't see coming in today." <hr /></blockquote> That is pretty funny. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Actually I think I am one of the few at work that actually cares about coming into work everyday. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif Seems everyone has some excuse to miss a day here and a day there. I just keep coming on in, sick or not. I have had people suggest I leave, but there is no reason to go home, there is nothing to do and nothing on TV. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

eg8r

Rich R.
09-23-2004, 03:52 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote eg8r:</font><hr> Actually I think I am one of the few at work that actually cares about coming into work everyday. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif Seems everyone has some excuse to miss a day here and a day there. I just keep coming on in, sick or not. I have had people suggest I leave, but there is no reason to go home, there is nothing to do and nothing on TV. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif<hr /></blockquote>
Some people would tell you to, "Get a life." /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Well, I guess I am one of those people. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

BTW, after many, many years of going to work almost every day, I am gladly using some of my accumulated sick time, before I get too close to retirement. /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

eg8r
09-23-2004, 07:07 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Some people would tell you to, "Get a life."

Well, I guess I am one of those people. <font color="red"> Maybe that is what I need. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif </font color>

BTW, after many, many years of going to work almost every day, I am gladly using some of my accumulated sick time, before I get too close to retirement. <font color="red">Well, we don't even get sick time. If you are out for the day, fine, just make sure you make up the time before the end of the quarter. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif I hate having to work free overtime so I just come in when I am supposed to. I also get flak from fellow workers because I have saved up so much vacation time. This will probably all go away now that we have a baby. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif</font color> <hr /></blockquote> eg8r

catscradle
09-23-2004, 07:48 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote landshark77:</font><hr> Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my
excuse; I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying...
<hr /></blockquote>

lol.

Barbara
09-23-2004, 08:10 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote eg8r:</font><hr> &lt;/font&gt;&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;font class="small"&gt;Quote:&lt;/font&gt;&lt;hr /&gt;
On of my favorite calling-in-sick lines is, "I'm having a problem with my eyes. I can't see coming in today." <hr /></blockquote> That is pretty funny. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Actually I think I am one of the few at work that actually cares about coming into work everyday. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif Seems everyone has some excuse to miss a day here and a day there. I just keep coming on in, sick or not. I have had people suggest I leave, but there is no reason to go home, there is nothing to do and nothing on TV. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

eg8r <hr /></blockquote>

Ed,

Believe it or not, one day when Pete and I decided to "play hooky", I actually used that line with my boss when I called in. He laughed! He'd never heard that line before!!

Pete, on the other hand, looked at me in utter disbelief! But then again, his boss isn't as young as mine!

Barbara

eg8r
09-23-2004, 08:50 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Pete, on the other hand, looked at me in utter disbelief! But then again, his boss isn't as young as mine! <hr /></blockquote> LOL, I wonder what my boss would do if I used that line. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

eg8r

Rich R.
09-23-2004, 08:54 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote eg8r:</font><hr> <font color="red">I also get flak from fellow workers because I have saved up so much vacation time. This will probably all go away now that we have a baby. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif</font color> <hr /></blockquote>
I think that is a safe bet. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

LivinGr8
09-24-2004, 05:38 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Barbara:</font><hr> LOL!!

On of my favorite calling-in-sick lines is, "I'm having a problem with my eyes. I can't see coming in today."

Barbara <hr /></blockquote>

You might be a redneck, if the Highway Patrol knocks on your pickup door and says, "Wake up! Your boss is looking for you again."
Try calling is sick for that one! /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif