View Full Version : I'm catching onto this Texas stuff...

05-16-2002, 05:35 AM
One of the hardest things to get used to when moving to an unfamiliar area is what to do (recreation), where to go (restaurants, movies, etc.) and where to avoid (bad areas of town, etc.)

Add to it, if you are moving to Texas, the ability to understand just what the hell people are saying! I imagine this goes way back to when Texas was a country (prior to the annexing of the remaining areas now known as the United States of America (HoustonDan may be able to comment on this) and they developed their own language to distinguish themselves from the "others."

While continuing my one-pocket endeavors yesterday, this was a conversation I overheard:

"Ah was shootin when this Earrainian guy axes me ifun I wanna play fer a few dollars. I says whut the hell, were fixin ta bomb tha bejeezus out of Eran so I figger I might as well git it while the gittin is good. I'll tell ya, that olboy plumb tuckered me out. He's slick as an eel and his goldurned shots were as wild as a peach orchard hog! He wuza makin shots that ud derned near make yer haid hurt. I couldn't hep but like tha boy. We got ta talkin bout the size of skeeters here in Texas and the uns in Eran and how it gets colder than a witches tit in a brass brassier thar. I told him nutindoin when he axed me ifun I'd ever been thar. He told me that he loved the good ol US of A and he'd grab his raffle and take ta shootin his own kind ifun any of them yellar bellied turban totin lizerds ever tried to hurt his new merican friends. I said is zat so and he said durned tootin..."

Well, you get the jist of it.

Regards (and apologies to my new friend and cue maker, Steve Hebert...I'm jist funnin'),


05-16-2002, 05:47 AM
Good morning Ken:

Back in the early 90's (1990's), I was hired to deliver and facilitate a financial and risk management seminar in Houston, Texas. The audience, 265 men and women from, where else, Texas, proved to be one of my greatest challenges. About 30 minutes into my presentation a gentleman raised his hand to ask a question. I called on him and asked for his question. The gentleman asked me to repeat what I had just said. I replied asking what was it he wished for me to repeat. His reply was, "Everyhting you said after you said Hello!" Needless to say Texans do not do things at the same pace we do here in NYC. However; at the end of my 8 hour day on the platform, and a grilling by the "crowd" my evaluations proved to be extremely favorable. One participant in particular wrote. Sorrentino was good, knew her stuff and handled our assaults well. However, being as she is a damn Yankee - from NYC as well - why the hell couldn't you find someone from Texas to give the presentation.

Just a little morning trivia

Dr. D.