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shoutout33
10-13-2004, 08:55 AM
Hey all. Got a call from my cousin at 3 am this morning saying my aunt passed. I'm not that close to her but she lives here in DC and i guess you know what I'm saying. Anyway, I'm kinda numb cuz I'm shocked but I also upset my fiance because I didn't go see her. I was scared and I didn't want to see her in pain. My fiance says that it's not about me anymore. She's mad because she like my aunt a lot. so now, im here at work felling like shh*t and even though she called me back, I know she's still upset, so I'm dealing with that and to top everything off, I can't reach my cousin to see how he's doing. (Note: two cousins live in the same house, the one that called, this isn't his mother.) I mean, I'm not even trying to compare my situation with anyone elses, I just need write to someone and you guy always seem to help everyone out. I guess I'll be ok, too upset to cry about it and I know I need to be strong for my people. I"ll catch you all later, I need to go buy some cards.

Daris '04

Chris Cass
10-13-2004, 09:35 AM
Tough Call Shout,

My brother could have came to the hospital when I was on my death bed. I was so messed up. I really thought I was on my way out as well as all my other family members. Not my wife and son. They had every bit of hope and tried their best to stay positive. (thanks CCBers I owe you all for that.)

Anyway, I know my brother. He loves me but he doesn't like the feelings he would feel if he seen me. He would lose it totally so, he'll not go. He also regrets it too. I don't hold anything against my lil brother. I love him all the same. It's something I've known about him all my life. Even if he thinks I hadn't.

It would have bothered him for a longtime if I did go out but there's nothing in the world that can change the thought I have of him. I know he loves me. Still today, he's never called me. I feel so bad for him.

Don't feel bad about not going. Chances are it's something in you too. She, your aunt although not close knows you too. Just remember her and that's enough to keep her memory alive. That means more than anything.

Please talk to someone close that will understand how you feel. Believe me, it'll help you to understand that we don't die. We just move on to another plain. While here we must try to make the best of every moment we share with our loved ones. There's meaning in the phrase, "Go in Peace."

Regards,

C.C.~~stay strong and prove your love by rememberance of the times you did have togather.

shoutout33
10-13-2004, 09:56 AM
Thanks a ton Chris. If I don't here from anyone else, I trully appreciate you giving me a reply. Thanks.

Daris '04

Wally_in_Cincy
10-13-2004, 10:09 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote shoutout33:</font><hr>

...I was scared and I didn't want to see her in pain....

<hr /></blockquote>

I think that's a pretty common emotion. I wouldn't beat yourself up too bad about it.

Just go out now and be extra nice to your peeps that are still alive.

JimS
10-13-2004, 10:20 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Chris Cass:</font><hr> Tough Call Shout,

Don't feel bad about not going. Just remember her and that's enough to keep her memory alive. That means more than anything.

Please talk to someone close that will understand how you feel. Believe me, it'll help you to understand that we don't die. We just move on to another plain. While here we must try to make the best of every moment we share with our loved ones. There's meaning in the phrase, "Go in Peace."

Regards,

C.C.~~stay strong and prove your love by rememberance of the times you did have togather. <hr /></blockquote>

Beautifully said Chris.

A close friend once was near death and had what is referred to as a near-death experience. He remembers rising above his body....hovering over his body watching the doctors and nurses working on his body. He heard a voice telling him that it was not time for him to go and shortly he was back in his body, coming to his senses, and back to what we call "life".

He says that there is no "death". There is just a transference of energy. The energy that is our true self, sometimes called The Spirit, merely leaves the body and moves on. It passes on. It, the Life, the Self, never dies....it passes on to another level of existance. Many, many people have documented similar experiences. So many that it is now considered commonplace. We do not die. We pass on. That is the truth that it's also the reason why it's so important to express your love for others while we are here and capable of using our bodies to communicate love. Communicating love is the only purpose in this life and is the reason for the existance of the body.

Like Chris said...just remember the love you shared with this person while you were on the same level of existance. It's not over...your senses cannot discern their presence but they are living although not in their former "body".

Crying is not being weak and not crying is not being strong. Crying is the normal expression of sadness or grief and when a person is feeling heavy sadness or grief and doesn't cry they are not letting their emotion be expressed. Some situations call for emotions to be suppressed but they need to be expressed or vented at some point and preferably shared with someone. Find someone that will love you, will hug you, and then cry. Crying is honest.

Glad you posted and shared your pain. From the tone of your post I'd guess maybe a tear was shed as you typed.

Ives
10-13-2004, 10:53 AM
Hey Shout
Hope things go well for you, not everyone handles pain and loss the same way. You need to do what you feel is right for you. Its obvious your a good person just for the fact that you chose to share with people on this board. Just make sure you share your thoughts with your fiance about this so she can understand where your coming from. Good Luck