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Ives
10-18-2004, 01:52 PM
OK So I need some help here people !!
I'm trying to get my wife interested in learning to play pool, but she just doesn't seem interested. We watch pool on tv alot together and she seems to be interested in watching the women play.( though she complains about it always being the same 2 in the finals ). Just looking for some advice on how to get someone hooked on this game the way i am !!!!!

Sid_Vicious
10-18-2004, 02:17 PM
As a friend once suggested to me after I said I was considering trimming my wife's hair for her, "Doooooon't do it!" I've almost never known of any husband succeeding with coaxing the wifey into something the hubby is high on himself, and especially if she is only cool-to-lukewarmatbest. I'll tell you this, if there is a chance in haiti for this idea, you'll need to get another person to show her the ropes. You try to do that yourself and you'll only hang yourself.

If it were me I'd forget about it and keep my hobby of pool to myself. It's simpler all the way around, in my past experiences relating to trying to endorse a common pastime with the significant other, be it a wife or a GF, there just seems to be a sensitive spot you don't want to surface if you can help it. On the positive side, if you two possibly have hung wall paper together without squabbles, you might have a chance...sid

Deeman2
10-18-2004, 02:29 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Sid_Vicious:</font><hr> As a friend once suggested to me after I said I was considering trimming my wife's hair for her, "Doooooon't do it!" I've almost never known of any husband succeeding with coaxing the wifey into something the hubby is high on himself, and especially if she cool-to-lukewarmatbest. I'll tell you this, if there is a chance in haiti for this idea, you'll need to get another person to show her the ropes. You try to do that yourself and you'll only hang yourself.

If it were me I'd forget about it and keep my hobby of pool to myself. It's simpler all the way around, in my past experiences relating to trying to endorse a common pastime with the significant other, be it a wife or a GF, there just seems to be a sensitive spot you don't want to surface if you can help it. On the positive side, if you two possibly have hung wall paper together without squabbles, you might have a chance...sid <hr /></blockquote>

Sid - Truer words were never spoken!

Deeman

SPetty
10-18-2004, 02:55 PM
You're fortunate that she watches and appreciates it with you. My SO says "The only thing more boring than watching people play pool is watching people fish!" Now that's boring!

The only way I've been able to get him to play with me is with some especially interesting wagers, plus a huge spot. You know the spot where, playing 9 ball, the 9 ball pocket is the entire back rail? That's the spot. It changes the game a little... /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

But he's still totally uninterested in learning anything about the game or how to be better at it. The shame of it is that I think he'd be pretty good if he cared - he's got an eye for the aim that I just don't have.

HallofFame
10-18-2004, 03:11 PM
Ives,

Start playing with one of those women, I GUARANTEE something will happen.

Joe

Barbara
10-18-2004, 03:17 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Ives:</font><hr> I'm trying to get my wife interested in learning to play pool, but she just doesn't seem interested.

<font color="blue">Sorry Dude, but it looks like it ain't gonna happen. Pool is an instant addiction.</font color>

We watch pool on tv alot together and she seems to be interested in watching the women play.( though she complains about it always being the same 2 in the finals ).

<font color="blue">Well at least you've got that.</font color>

Just looking for some advice on how to get someone hooked on this game the way i am !!!!!

<font color="blue">See? Go back up to my "instant addiction" comment.</font color><hr /></blockquote>

Barbara

Ives
10-18-2004, 04:29 PM
Thanks all
I think everyones right about this one. In fact the more I think about it the more I realize that were both to competitive to compete in the same sport ( she also won't play golf with me ). We'd probably drive each other nuts. Oh well, could be worse. She could be trying to get me to knit a blanket or belly dance with her ( her hobbies ). /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif

landshark77
10-18-2004, 05:40 PM
Ok pool was NOT an instant addiction for me. I've been playing 7 years and I actually just started to REALLY care about it. I would call it an OBSESSION, LOL! I think my husband wanted me to play more so than I did at first. I really started to play so I could spend time with him (when we were dating) and to show an interest in something he likes (so he would like me back) and to let those pool playing chicks know he was MY man, LOL!

I agree with not teaching your wife. My husband has taught me basically everything I know. However, it caused ALOT of stress in our relationship at first because he had to be critical. Sometimes I still get upset with him when he offers advice, but if a diffrent person offered the same advice I wouldn't be upset. The emotional stuff isn't there, LOL.

JMO! /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Jimmy B
10-20-2004, 01:19 AM
Don't do it!!!!

JB

Chris Cass
10-20-2004, 04:38 AM
Hi Ives,

Coming from a guy who did something simular and has a a family of pool players now. I tend to agree with Jimmy B on this one.

I met my wife shooting pool. She shot but she didn't exactly know what she knows now. She did have a natural talent and I saw this. This excited me in a way that only a pool player could be. lol

Anyway, there's times I find that I'd rather be alone doing what I love and sometimes the separation is best for both. I have given up many hrs away from vital practice for my own game too. Many times playing with both my wife and son and really enjoying it but, not playing to my full potential leaving me sometimes in a mess when forced to play different in competition.

This like other sports can hurt your game. In this sport you need to play in competition with equal or higher caliber players than yourself. You also need to practice how you play. In other words, practice with your best game. It's hard to get someone you love interested in a game and play with them and then turn around and go out to crush them.

No fun for them and it can and will tear down their spirit. You very well can't fire your "A" game at a beginning player. Then, there's the different levels of mindset every player has to go through. Most stuff you've been through and don't need to revisit.

I've spent much time away from my improvements to help their's and I would do anything for them. However, that's what love is all about. The other side of the coin is that when going places in this game. The time is always now. Not, I can hold off, it's now.

If your plans are for fun and recreation then, it's all good. If it's about reaching your goals and expectations for yourself then, the time is now.

Sometimes it's best to keep the level of your SO what they like and not what you think they'd like. I know I never once thought, "Hey, I just want to sit and cross stitch with you babe." Lord help me if she ever wanted me to learn that stuff. I will however show interest in seeing the things she's made. I do like that.

Be happy for what she'll share with you and don't feel she needs to join you in your passions. As long as she's slightly interested or loves you enough to enjoy watching you compete or just sharing a match togather on tv. Just be happy. I do want to make clear that I love my wife and son very much. I'm extremely proud of what they've both acheived so far in this game. I also don't regret for one minute giving what little I have to help them reach their goals as of yet. They've been there for me in my darkest hrs and we've won many a battle togather. Aww heck, do what you think.



Regards,

C.C.

Ives
10-20-2004, 11:05 AM
Thanks for the post Chris
Ive pretty much mde up my mind against it allready. Just thought it would be something fun to do together.

It probably didn't help that the first time she played against me I ran the table to the eight and left her sitting in her chair. Major oops on my part. She just put her stick away and went upstairs, never to be seen again. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

dg-in-centralpa
10-20-2004, 02:54 PM
My wife will play but I won't let her and she has no interest in any leagues. She will play just for fun and nothing more. If I do play with her, I'll generally shoot with my opposite side to give her a chance. My daughter has some fierce concentration and I wish she would play because of it, but she wants it just for fun and nothing else. I also need the night out away from wifey and kid. It's more relaxing.

DG - sometimes people need hobbies away from the spouse

Wally_in_Cincy
10-21-2004, 05:51 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote dg-in-centralpa:</font><hr>

..DG - sometimes people need hobbies away from the spouse <hr /></blockquote>

What was the first thing Superman did?

He built a FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Eric.
10-21-2004, 01:11 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr>
What was the first thing Superman did?

He built a FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

<hr /></blockquote>

Most of us have a "Fortress of Solitude" too. Only some of us call it a "Throne". /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif


Eric &gt;headed to the throne

John_Madden
10-21-2004, 07:13 PM
"IF" she will play with you again, NEVER
1. NEVER teach her - have some one else give her lessons
2. NEVER critize her or tell her to do it differently - only if she asks and tread softly very softly
3. NEVER play even - make it a handicap (play with one hand tied behind your back)
4. NEVER NEVER keep score
And if all she does is watch you play, watch pool on tv, or help with your cuemaking business be happy - when I was young &amp; dump I wanted my wife to play but I did all the "NEVER"s so my wife of 36 years does not play and has no desire to do so. But she watches me play, watches pool on tv, and helps me with my cuemaking - and we do it together - I am lucky.
John Madden
www.johnmaddencues.com (http://www.johnmaddencues.com)

pooltchr
10-22-2004, 05:34 AM
Good points, John. My wife plays on my APA team. She does it more for the social aspects, and it gives us a night out together. She is a sl-2, maybe 3 sometimes, and that's all she really strives for. She has no problem with me playing in tournaments, but has no desire to join me. Those are my nights out.
I learned very early not to try and teach her. I work with students all the time, but if she wants lessons, I will get her another instructor. It's much better for our relationship!
She loves pool as much as I do, but for different reasons. You can't force something that isn't there. If I pushed her, it would probably turn her against the game entirely.

dg-in-centralpa
10-22-2004, 02:58 PM
Wally - I think my wife is related to Superman. She built me a Fortress of Solitude, only she calls it The Doghouse.

DG - sleeps there many times lol