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View Full Version : Pumpkin patch at midnight (Some what adult themed)



landshark77
10-20-2004, 09:40 AM
(This is from a web page I frequent...I just cut and pasted and edited one word)

This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best
Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year-old white
male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious Behavior, public
indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on
Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he
decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there
was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he
stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled
over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was
appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his
need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with
evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County
police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer
Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this
pumpkin."Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you
are screwing a pumpkin?' "

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then
looked me straight in the face and said:

"A pumpkin? s**t..is it midnight already?'"

TomBrooklyn
10-25-2004, 05:26 PM
Lewd and lacivious behavior is against the law. In other words, some governments have made it illegal to act upon sexual desire, even alone and in private or virtually private places. This is freedom?

landshark77
10-25-2004, 06:42 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote TomBrooklyn:</font><hr> Lewd and lacivious behavior is against the law. In other words, some governments have made it illegal to act upon sexual desire, even alone and in private or virtually private places. This is freedom? <hr /></blockquote>

Whoa! You're talking about the possibility of a hefty debate here. I just liked the guy's line to the police officer. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

IMHO, on your subject matter, is that anyone should be able to engage in any act with their own body when ALL parties (LIVING THINGS) agree. (This agreement would have to be from consenting ADULTS, thus children are NOT included.) Obviously inanimate objects are not living thus do what you want to with them. Animals are LIVING THINGS, therefore unless they come right out and say, "Hey, I'm up for that" then they should be off limits. So really the only animal that stands a chance is a parrot, LOL. Of course ALL activity should be in private...unless all parties consent. If I'm driving down the road I do not want to see a guy loving on a pumpkin...no matter how funny he his. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif Thus I am NOT a consenting party.

TomBrooklyn
10-25-2004, 09:04 PM
Police Officer? You mean that jack-booted, gender-confused Enforcer for the Oppressive Imperial Regime who physically and bureaucratically went out of her way to compel adherence the Puritanical Overlord Committee's moral code?

What are we to do if some bovines are making whoopee in field? Should we call the Agricultural Department and have their inspectors put a stop to it? Maybe make them get a stall? How about if someone witnesses a couple of squirrels going at it. Should the Wildlife and Game Commission be called to have a Ranger dispatched to shoot them?

Why shouldn't we treat a human, even a Pumpkin Loving human, with at least as much tolerance as we'd give to a cow?

eg8r
10-26-2004, 06:09 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Why shouldn't we treat a human, even a Pumpkin Loving human, with at least as much tolerance as we'd give to a cow? <hr /></blockquote> If you feel you are on the same level of intelligence as a cow and would not know the difference then maybe you have a case. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

eg8r

Rich R.
10-26-2004, 07:03 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote TomBrooklyn:</font><hr> Lewd and lacivious behavior is against the law. In other words, some governments have made it illegal to act upon sexual desire, even alone and in private or virtually private places. This is freedom? <hr /></blockquote>The original story implied that neither the pumpkin, nor the land where it was growing, belonged to the passerby. Therefore, he was at least guilty of trespassing and destroying the pumpkin.
Freedom or not, he broke the law. /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif

SpiderMan
10-26-2004, 07:37 AM
Tom,

I don't think the pumpkin belonged to Patrick. Don't know about Farmer Brown, but I'd like to think that the law would be on my side if he'd jumped MY pumpkin.

SpiderMan

TomBrooklyn
10-26-2004, 09:18 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote landshark77:</font><hr> Whoa! You're talking about the possibility of a hefty debate here. <hr /></blockquote>Are you opposed to open debate in a public forum?

Wally_in_Cincy
10-26-2004, 09:55 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote TomBrooklyn:</font><hr>

Why shouldn't we treat a human, even a Pumpkin Loving human, with at least as much tolerance as we'd give to a cow? <hr /></blockquote>

Is this story somehow related to the proverbial "monkey trying to f*** a football"?

just curious /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Deeman2
10-26-2004, 11:09 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote TomBrooklyn:</font><hr> Police Officer? You mean that jack-booted, gender-confused Enforcer for the Oppressive Imperial Regime who physically and bureaucratically went out of her way to compel adherence the Puritanical Overlord Committee's moral code?

What are we to do if some bovines are making whoopee in field? Should we call the Agricultural Department and have their inspectors put a stop to it? Maybe make them get a stall? How about if someone witnesses a couple of squirrels going at it. Should the Wildlife and Game Commission be called to have a Ranger dispatched to shoot them?

Why shouldn't we treat a human, even a Pumpkin Loving human, with at least as much tolerance as we'd give to a cow? <hr /></blockquote>

Tom,

What if that pumpkin was unknowingly consumed by you or your family? Would that change your opinion of right's being infringed upon if you found out later? Just curious, Komrad.

Deeman
glad I didn't pick that one up....

landshark77
10-26-2004, 11:11 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote TomBrooklyn:</font><hr> Are you opposed to open debate in a public forum? <hr /></blockquote>

I LIVE for it! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Chopstick
10-26-2004, 11:35 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote TomBrooklyn:</font><hr>

jack-booted, gender-confused Enforcer for the Oppressive Imperial Regime

<hr /></blockquote>

Son, you been watching too much TV.

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote TomBrooklyn:</font><hr>

Why shouldn't we treat a human, even a Pumpkin Loving human, with at least as much tolerance as we'd give to a cow?

<hr /></blockquote>

I agree completely. Cut their heads off and barbeque them.

"Keep an open mind!" Yea, we've all heard it before. You know what happens when you walk around all day with an open mind? Your brains fall out.

Next thing you know there'll be protest marches for pumpkin pokers rights. /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Wally_in_Cincy
10-26-2004, 11:37 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Chopstick:</font><hr>
.. You know what happens when you walk around all day with an open mind?...

<hr /></blockquote>

Someone pours garbage into it.

9 Ball Girl
10-26-2004, 01:11 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote TomBrooklyn:</font><hr> What if that pumpkin was unknowingly consumed by you or your family? <hr /></blockquote>I hear it's good for acne.

Wendy&lt;---couldn't resist.

Wally_in_Cincy
10-26-2004, 01:17 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr>I hear it's good for acne.

Wendy&lt;---couldn't resist. <hr /></blockquote>

I notice Ginger Lynn never had acne so maybe you have a point.