View Full Version : 12 STEPS FOR CONSERVATIVES
10-27-2004, 07:23 PM
I'm thinking of starting a 12 STEPS program for displaced conservatives if Kerry wins but I'm having trouble with what the 12 steps should be...any suggestions....hehehe
10-28-2004, 05:56 AM
1) Sit back and wait for the train wreck that pinhead is going to make out of the economy.
1) Recognize that, without help from a higher power, you are powerless to give up Drudge, Newsmax, Limbaugh, and other conservative-only "news" sources. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
10-28-2004, 09:21 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote cheesemouse:</font><hr>
I'm thinking of starting a 12 STEPS program for displaced conservatives if Kerry wins but I'm having trouble with what the 12 steps should be...any suggestions....hehehe <hr /></blockquote>
1. Move to a new country, like Arkansas, where nobody would bother to send a terrorist.
2. Make late night obscene phone calls to Hillary Clinton saying, "It ain't gonna happen in 2008".
3. Mix Hydrocodone w/Scotch, drink often.
4. Get ready for hell to freeze over.
5. By stock in overseas relocation companies.
6. Buy Hunt's Ketchup.
7. Hide your guns.
8. Hide your income.
9. Declare your new rights to entitlement programs.
10. Marry anything that moves, barks or moos.
11. Relearn the pleasures of riding a bike.
12. Learn how to say "I told you so!" in 12 languages.
/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Deeman, you get 1st place for humor!
10-29-2004, 08:08 AM
Repeat Every Morning "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always go where you've always gone
Admit That An 'Input' Function To Your Brain Is Not Such a Bad Thing.
Really Believe That God Is Not Talking to You Thru Bush
As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk
Stop Finishing All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy
Stop Paging Yourself Over The Intercom With That Goofy Disguised Voice.
Stop Singing Along At The Opera
Stop Asking Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
Take down the Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Stop Playing the Tropical Sounds Disc All Day.
During Your Lunch Time, Stop Sitting In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Pointing A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars Too See If They Slow Down.
Have faith that you really can learn from your mistakes.
Be Thankful That The Liberals Will Let You Play With The New America....HeHeHe
Geez.......I'm relying to my own posts.... /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
Gayle in MD
10-31-2004, 07:11 AM
1) Remember, Original ideas are not foreign objects trying to invade your brain. Staying the course doesn't mean making the same mistakes over and over.
2) Ban Jerry Falwell from the airwaves until he understands the whole concept behind "The body is your temple" then buy hime a neck.
3) Stop encouraging Anne Coulter and take up a collection to help her get some plastic sergury, just because she looks like an Afgahn Hound, doesn't mean she understands Afgahnistan.
4) Convince George Bush to read the Newspapers, so maybe he can get caught up on the mess he is making for us all over the world, then teach him how to say MESSAGE.
5) Remember, your gay daughters and sons are only that way because they want to be, and they want to be that way so they won't be like you.
6) Tell George the next time he gets a National Security Memo that an attack is likely, that's no time to block off time for story time.
7) Try to break the conservative obsession with the sex lives of liberals, it's better to **** than to be ****ed up.
8) Rupert Murdock isn't really the Wizard of Oz.
9) God isn't really George Bush's National Security Advisor, and Connie Rice isn't really Dianna Ross.
10) Stepford wives was a movie, not a republican movement!
11) Remember, George isn't really suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder, he just needs a drink! You don't re-elect a man to do a job when he keeps saying "It's hard, it's hard, it's hard.
12) Banning stem cell research won't save the Social Security System.
10-31-2004, 07:44 AM
And you do not re-elect a man who has been quoted as saying: This would be easier if we had a dictatorship, as long as I was the dictator.
10-31-2004, 10:31 AM
#3 made my sides hurt and tears come to my eyes...thanks for the Sunday morning laugh.. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
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