View Full Version : Fun: Don't mess with Mom

Harold Acosta
10-30-2004, 08:27 AM
Don't mess with Mom...

My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The "Children's Bill of Rights."

It says I need not clean my room,
don't have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my ZZZhead,
and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toes.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
so you can't influence me,
or I'll call Children's Services Division,
better known as C.S.D.

Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

The next day I took him shopping
at the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, "Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D.
who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes
instead of those Nike Airs.

And I've canceled that appointment
to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned
so I'll decide what's best.

I said "No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
and wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
a favorite dish of mine.

He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
to watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV,
for new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,
you'll take the couch instead.
All the C.S.D. requires
is a roof for over your ZZZhead.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
and I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the "Parents Bill of Rights,"
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
and why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
instead of C.S.D..?

10-30-2004, 10:11 AM
Love it !!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Reminds me of when my daughter was about age 12.
(OMG, that was a looong time ago.. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif )
We went shopping for new jeans. She just HAD to have the latest fad brand name. I simply told her she could pick ONE pair of BRAND name jeans or two/three off-brand jeans. What a terrible Dad I was (am)... /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif


10-30-2004, 12:29 PM
This sounds like my mother. My brother mouthed off to her when we were younger and she swatted him. He threatened her with child abuse. She told him to call the cops and an ambulance, because after calling the cops, he'd need an ambulance. She's a tough woman.

DG - he never made the call

Gayle in MD
10-31-2004, 07:07 AM
Funny Post! Many years ago, on a cold, windy evening when my daughter was three, she got mad over something I would let her do, and said she was going to run away from home. It was just about bed time. I walked her to her room and helped her pack her little trunk, PJ,s, robe & slippers, a few books, a few outfits, helped her get her snowsuit on. We finally got to the door, as the wind howled outside. I said, "Now remember, don't talk to any strangers, keep your gloves on, it's awful cold and dark out there, and here's a snack for when you start to get hungry"
She took one step outside, turned around with her finger in the air and said, "Look, I'll give you one more chance"

I'll never forget that, I can still se her standing there, LOL.

Gayle in Md, /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif