View Full Version : Nerves
11-11-2004, 10:21 AM
I've been battling with a divorce property settlement for all most two years. Finally, we settled out of court. My pool game was jumping in leaps and bounds. I played the best pool I've shot in years in the last week or two. Then came the time for my ex-wife to give me my property. She decided to renig on the agreement, and said that she is going back to court. I was physical sick for two days, and finally am getting back to normal. My eyes would loose focus and I would get dizzy and feel faint. I felt weak and tired. I played a tournament last night and did poorly. Nerves do some crazy things. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
11-11-2004, 10:33 AM
I guess so far as the stress level indicator goes, that would be a 10!
I've noticed that when I am stressed about something, my game goes downhill. But when I have no problems, am relaxed, etc. I play much better.
I don't know what to say about your situation. Although I always say to myself that it can't get much worse, so things have got to improve. Also I went through divorce. I was a "mess" for quite awhile. I finally got over it and went on with my life. Actually had quite a fun time! So things *will* eventually get better. Hang in there...
11-11-2004, 10:46 AM
I am listening to a Blues song now..."First comes the grievin" (then comes the healing). by Pat Boyack
Sometimes those songs ring true. Hang in there Stick, things will get better.
11-11-2004, 11:11 AM
That sucks! My divorce was agreeable, no battles and I feel it was because my ex knew as well as I did that the marriage was simply a mistake, so the adult side in each of us came through. Now if I had followed all of my lawyers advice and gone after a 401K split, etc. it would have gotten worse, lawyers seem to WANT to steer trouble, as do so called friends at times. My guess is that girlfriends with baggage causes many-a added grieve to a divorcing husband in these things, but all divorces are different. It really does not make any sense to me why a spouse would purposely cause continued pain, and many times vicious just to be hurtful, after the end of the marriage is near in this process. "Hey it's over, why twist a knive?"
As far as your game, you will have to suffer through it. Getting laid might help though...sid
11-11-2004, 12:25 PM
The funny thing is, after paying for the lawyers for two years, there isn't anything left to fight over. HaHa
Pool has always been a great escape for me. When I'm playing pool, my troubles are out of my mind for the time being. (or so I thought) Apparently, the stress is still working in the unconsious corners of your mind. Maybe I should just pay her off, so I could start playing great pool, and recoup the loss. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Yep about the same here, I have some problems. My nerves ain't exactly rock solid either.
11-11-2004, 01:58 PM
I don't want to make light of the situation but what you're going through is the reality of life. My guess is that prior to the divorce was even more stressful. As we get older many aspects of our lives get increasingly difficult. Who hasn't worried about the health of a loved one. Don't we all live with the added stress of terrorism? Do you worry about staying employed? I know that I was a lot happier 5 years ago than now. My father got sick a few years back, lasted 9 months and died. My mom fell down in the spring, broke her hip and thankfully made a great recovery. My sister was laid off from her job of 29 years. I work at the same company, just survived a downsizing in September and was told that there will be another in January. My 22 year old son was in Iraq last spring and my 20 year old daughter had major back surgery in May. They're just kids and shouldn't have to be in these situations. Both of them are just fine now but it was not an easy year. My whole point is that we must adjust to changes and look at the upside of situations. Friends and family can be very helpful. I try to count my blessings and balance my life. Hang in there, shoot pool, have fun.
11-11-2004, 02:24 PM
Things will get better Stick. I moved to NC in 1972 with a beautiful wife, a Mayflower Moving Van full of furniture, and a sweet 1965 MGC Convertible. Things didn't work out and a buddy picked me up at the curb. All I had was a small suitcase and a black and white 13" TV. She took everything. I thought it was the worst day of my life. Every cloud has a silver lining and I realize today it was the best thing that could happen. Hand tough and pma (positive mental attitude).
11-11-2004, 02:45 PM
it could be worse ... as many can attest
high stress can hurt your game if you let it ... you can also believe that your pool playing time is just that,time to get away from the daily grind and therefore a time to look forward to and enjoy
11-11-2004, 04:17 PM
The up side of this situation will be when it is finally over. Until then, it feels like a noose around my neck. Things like job downsizing, loss of work, your house being destroyed by tornado, kidney failure, dialysis, a stroke, and disability, like you say, it's just life, and you learn to live it to the utmost extent. There,s no winning in a divorce. You just learn to live with it. But, first you have to conclude it, and after two years I'm more than ready. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif We'll eventually get this thing done, and I'll be free of the stress. This too will pass.
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