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View Full Version : Bush in Hell ---- joke.



Rich R.
11-15-2004, 05:24 AM
Bush in Hell

George W. Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over.

Such was his fate in hell.

"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that! all day long.

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said...."Monica, you're free to go!"

/ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Gayle in MD
11-15-2004, 09:56 AM
Hey Rich, what a scream! Too funny! Thanks,
Love,
Gayle /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Perk
11-15-2004, 10:29 AM
LMAO...thanks for the laugh..coworkers enjoyed it also..

eg8r
11-15-2004, 10:38 AM
Can you imagine W's face. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

eg8r <~~~thinks it is good to know, that no matter who is sent to hell, clinton is not getting out /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

PQQLK9
11-15-2004, 10:45 AM
TOO funny /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Deeman2
11-15-2004, 10:47 AM
Good one Rich,

see we republicans can laugh at our presidents, just as you should be able to laugh at your non-presidents! /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Good Joke! /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Deeman

wolfdancer
11-15-2004, 11:02 AM
Rich, It's a funny joke, and an allegory about comments Democrats make, concerning Republicans

Gayle in MD
11-16-2004, 06:17 AM
Oh for heavens sake Deeman, give it a break will ya. Can't we even share a little joke together without your putting on your "WE WON" bonnet and twisting the knife.

Jeeze!

Gayle in Md.

Wally_in_Cincy
11-16-2004, 06:41 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Gayle in MD:</font><hr> Oh for heavens sake Deeman, give it a break will ya. Can't we even share a little joke together without your putting on your "WE WON" bonnet and twisting the knife.

Jeeze!

Gayle in Md.
<hr /></blockquote>

only if you forgo the use of the phrase "Little Bushy" until 2008 /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Gayle in MD
11-16-2004, 07:06 AM
LITTLE BUSHY! LITTLE BUSHY! LITTLE BUSHY! Na na na nah na, lol.

Get used to it friend, it's Little Bushy and the Bushyites for four more years, Ah 1 2 3 4.... Dom dom da dom dum dah dah dah dom de dum.

Gayle in Md. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

eg8r
11-16-2004, 07:51 AM
[ QUOTE ]
LITTLE BUSHY! LITTLE BUSHY! LITTLE BUSHY! Na na na nah na, lol.

Get used to it friend, it's Little Bushy and the Bushyites for four more years, Ah 1 2 3 4.... Dom dom da dom dum dah dah dah dom de dum.

Gayle in Md. <hr /></blockquote> I believe it is "Who's-your-daddy" Bush to you and Carville. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif No more chanting. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

eg8r

nAz
11-16-2004, 11:02 AM
George W. Bush Joke

I'll bet versions of this predate Bush, but it's still damn funny...

While walking down the street one day, George "Dubya" Bush is shot and killed by a disgruntled NRA member. His soul arrives in heaven and he is met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem: We seldom know what to do with a Republicans in these parts, and the same goes for you. "No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer." says Dubya

"I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from the Man Himself: He says you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for eternity."

"But, I've already made up my mind; I want to be in Heaven."

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course the sun is shining in a cloudless sky, the temperature perfect 72 degrees.

In the distance is a beautiful clubhouse. Standing in front of it his dad...and thousands of other Republicans who had helped him out over the years... Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Jerry Falwell.... The whole of the "Right" was there...everyone laughing...happy...casually but expensively dressed.

They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at expense of the "suckers and peasants". They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

The Devil himself comes up to Bush with a frosty drink, "Have a Margarita and relax, Dubya!"

"Uh, I can't drink no more, I took a pledge," says Junior, dejectedly.

"This is Hell, son: you can drink and eat all you want and not worry, and it just gets better from there!"

Dubya takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly guy who tells funny jokes and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like a Yale Skull and Bones brother with real horns.

They are having such a great time that, before he realizes it, it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Bush steps on the elevator and heads upward.

When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven," the old man says, opening the gate.

So for 24 hours Bush is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money, and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or frat boy joke among them; no fancy country clubs and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor, he doesn't see anybody he knows, and he isn't even treated like someone special!

Worst of all, to Dubya, Jesus turns out to be some kind of Jewish hippie with his endless 'peace' and 'do unto others' jive.

"Whoa," he says uncomfortably to himself, "Pat Robertson never prepared me for this!"

The day done, St. Peter returns and says, "Well, then, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for eternity."

With the 'Jeopardy' theme playing softly in the background,Dubya reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends.

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.

The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial waste...kind of like Houston. He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain,faces and hands black with grime. The Devil come over to Dubya and puts an arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers a shocked Dubya, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a clubhouse and drank and ate caviar... I drank booze. We screwed around and had a great time.

Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable.

The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly, and purrs, "Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us."