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Bob
11-19-2004, 08:49 AM
> > A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
> > bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's
> > mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried
> > to
> > change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words,
> > playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the
> > bird's vocabulary.
> >
> > Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
> > The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier
> > and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the
> > bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked
> > and
> > kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was
> > heard for over a minute.
> >
> > Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the
> > door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's
> > outstretched
> > arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language
and
> > actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions
and
> > I
> > fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable
> > behavior."
> >
> > John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was
> > about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his
> > behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
> >
> > Happy Thanksgiving!
> >

Gayle in MD
11-21-2004, 09:30 AM
That's cute, and Happy Thanksgiving to you also. And to Vodoo and Kato, I will be think of you guys this Thanksgiving. Hope you can get through, I'm not looking forward to it this year without Mom.

Love,
Gayle

cueball1950
11-21-2004, 11:59 AM
Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends/enemies here on the CCB. Have a great turkey day and share and enjoy it with friends and family..................................mike

PQQLK9
11-21-2004, 12:15 PM
A Thanksgiving Prayer

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

Gayle in MD
11-21-2004, 01:57 PM
Happy thanksgiving my friend,
I hope your day is fabulous!

Love
Gayle...Please give my love to LeonardXXXX did he get his computer problems workd out?

SecaucusFats
11-21-2004, 02:21 PM
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,"the old man says. "We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

"Like Heck they're getting a divorce, she shouts. "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone, smiles and turns to his wife. "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

SF

Barbara
11-21-2004, 02:43 PM
Hey Eydie!!

Happy Thanksgiving Day to you and all the CCB posters!!

Barbara