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Tom_In_Cincy
05-20-2002, 09:30 PM
FLARES

A few years ago there was a long discussion on R.S.B. concerning flares.

Flares are those things that players do that tell everyone in the pool hall that they cannot play a lick.

This is a collection of responses:

1. The "tank turret" rack, where the 8-ball is placed on top of the rack and allowed to drop in the hole when racking.

2. The stick twirl, a la Tom Cruise.

3. Calling 8-ball "solids and stripes."

4. How about bridging between the knuckles of the first two fingers? --

5. Let me preface this by saying that I have nothing but respect for the game of golf. Moreover, many golfers are fine pool players. Still, the flare that I like the most is the one I call the "drunken golfer". This is the guy who is with several of his buddies, all of whom have tan
Dockers with big asses, sport shirts with paunches, big red noses, and a penchant for screaming... "Get in there!" and "Get there!! Getthere!!" Sharking among them is not only tolerated, but expected, and the most common method of annoying the shark seems to be self-medication to the point of catatonia. These guys all have eye/hand co-ordination
greater than the average Joe, but none of them seem to be able to actually play.

6. The aggressive chalker (spins cue into chalk cube with such vigor that I expect a fire to break out), the stick dropper, and the guy who gets annoyed with ball-in-hand fouls ("that's for wimps!").

7. Don't forget the guy that screams "dirty pool" when you play a safety.

8. Moving the cue ball a butt diameter away from the cushion (ala miniature golf); this is one of my favorites because I learned this when I first played.

9. In addition to the "stick twirl, there is also the "rack twirl". Especially when they hit themselves in the face or drop it on the freshly racked balls.

10. The stilt bridge (fingertips down, hand up off the table for no good reason).

11. Walking around the 9ft table a couple of times, and then asking where to put the quarters.

12. Playing on eight foot tables when there are nine footers available.

13. Keeping their bankroll in their wallet.

14. Standing close to the table while the other player is playing. Could be ignorance, could be a shark.

15. Bragging about how good they are. The dangerous players tell you they have bad backs, haven't played for a month, can't make a ball, just got over the flu, etc.

16. Playing eight ball could be a flare, could be a come on.

17. Missing a long shot (that you estimate they make maybe one out of three times) and then standing for several seconds completely frozen in place displaying a look of utter disbelief that borders on absolute shock.

18. Watching them line up their shot. Right before they shoot, you can tell they're going to miss by a mile.

19. Or, they lay their cue all over the table trying to figure out the angles, and the places the ball will hit after they go 14 rails for their shot.(this usually results in about 5 balls being knocked around).

20. Another good one is, when they get snookered, and can't get a shot on they're next ball, they just hit the $hit out of the cue ball, and if something does happen to fall, they step up to shoot again, no matter what ball they hit first.

21. The "ball" bridge (holding on to a ball to make a bridge).

22. I like the one where the guy or gal racks 8-ball. They spend 15 minutes trying to get the solids/stripes in perfectly alternating order. Is this a rule somewhere?

23. How about the player who vigorously shakes the rack back and forth hoping the balls will settle into a tight rack.

24. And don't forget the guy that thinks the Sardo tight rack is "probably a good thing."

25. And let's not forget the guys that grab a house cue and roll it all over the table to check straightness like it's gonna hamper *their* game if it's not exactly on. And they never even look at the tip, the most important part.

26. Or the player who jacks the butt of his cue on every shot so that the cue is about a 45-degree angle with the table and shoots every shot at warp speed.

27. Slamming the stick against the rail on every missed shot?

28. Budweiser cue. Or better, "My buddy sold me this Budweiser cue for only $150 dollars!"

29. "I always shoot better when I'm drunk." is number one!

30. Using 2 lbs of talc, most of it going on top of the table.

31. Chalking up only once, right after he got it off the rack. Once is good for the whole night!

32. Puts beer bottle in the pocket while shooting.

33. Placing the chalk on the ground or against the ceiling when chalking.

34. Jumping by scooping under the cue ball.

35. How about shooting directly at an object ball that's separated from the cueball by several inches, perhaps as much as 8 inches, then following through so far that the cueball goes foreword as fast as the object ball. When you call a foul, he has no clue as to what you're talking about.

36. Alternates back and forth between one eye open and both eyes open, trying to aim the shot 'just right', while swinging the cue in a curved arc nowhere near the line of the shot. Then gives YOU advice on how to play!)

37. The guy that teaches his girlfriend how to make a bridge, of course he's teaching her to put her forefinger on the top of the shaft not around it.

38. The guy that misses the pocket by a mile but sends it 2 more rails into a corner or side and walks away like he meant to do it.

39. "THE CLAW" rail bridge (also known as the "EAGLE TALON" in some states).

40. Don't forget the ever cool method of putting chalk on the ground, inserting cue into the cube and spinning the cue with the inside of foot. Wow! I'm impressed just thinking about it.

41. How about hitting the shaft on the side of the table to knock the chalk residue off after chalking?

42. Smokers who try to hold a cigarette in their mouth when they shoot and they have to hold their head sideways so the smoke won't get in their eyes. Or they set it on the rail where it rolls onto the cloth or the floor.

43. Holding a lit cigarette in grip hand while shooting.

44. Chalk upside down on rail.

45. Sitting on the cushions.

46. Grinding the chalk into the cloth to mark a spot.

stickman
05-20-2002, 10:20 PM
One of my favorites, the guy who tries to use body english to pocket his shots. LOL

I get a kick out of these guys gyrations.

05-20-2002, 10:40 PM
quote:
One of my favorites, the guy who tries to use body english to pocket his shots. LOL

I get a kick out of these guys gyrations.


new:
Hey Stickman.
I didn't know you saw me play.

bell
05-20-2002, 10:51 PM
Fantistic post Tom. You have really been there.

Scott Lee
05-20-2002, 11:14 PM
Tom...LOL LMAO!!! I tried to think of some others, but I think you covered them all! What a hoot!

Scott

Doctor_D
05-21-2002, 03:13 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Tom_In_Cincy:</font><hr> FLARES

44. Chalk upside down on rail.

<hr></blockquote>

Now here is an issue which comes up daily with too damn many players.

Dr. D.

05-21-2002, 04:56 AM
Those are great, Tom. Here's a few more.

1. Leaning the cue stick against the table when racking.

2. Stance with their legs crossed---back leg way behind the front leg and leaning way forward.

3. Choked way up on the cue with the back hand, or way back on the end, way out of proportion for their arm span.

4. Racking the balls on the wrong end of the table.

5. Putting their soda or beer on the rail of the table next to them which is unoccupied.

6. Everybody screams bloody murder when the 8 ball goes in.

7. Dancing to the music when shooting, in the chair, eating, drinking, and talking.

8. Asking questions like, "When it is my turn?" or "Can I go next?"

9. Not realizing that they've just been given the worst table in the house.

10. Not knowing what a Centennial ball is...or a red circle or a blue circle.

11. Luck counts as skill.

Fran

rackmup
05-21-2002, 05:09 AM
Great post Tom...one of the best I have read in a long time!

LMAO!

Ken (okay...okay! I'll quit leaving the chalk upside down on the rail)

Doctor_D
05-21-2002, 06:36 AM
Good monring Pookie:

Do you mean that, after all these years of chalking the rails, you might just get it right ???

/ccboard/images/icons/wink.gif

Dr. D.

BillPorter
05-21-2002, 07:04 AM
Hey Eddie, I thought he was talking about ME! I once put a crick in my back trying to body english a nine-ball into the pocket.

Tom_In_Cincy
05-21-2002, 07:09 AM
Fran,
Great additions.. I will add them to my list..

stickman
05-21-2002, 07:13 AM
Honest guys, I was talking about a local. /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif

Kato
05-21-2002, 07:31 AM
Sometimes I do that. I think it's necessary and is an intricate part of the game.

Kato

Eric.
05-21-2002, 07:58 AM
My all time favorite-

One guy, who was the "expert" told his buddy that the Billiard tables were the "practice" tables(!)

Eric &gt;can't make this stuff up

05-21-2002, 08:03 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Tom_In_Cincy:</font><hr> FLARES

A few years ago there was a long discussion on R.S.B. concerning flares.

Flares are those things that players do that tell everyone in the pool hall that they cannot play a lick.

This is a collection of responses:

1. The "tank turret" rack, where the 8-ball is placed on top of the rack and allowed to drop in the hole when racking.

2. The stick twirl, a la Tom Cruise.

3. Calling 8-ball "solids and stripes."

4. How about bridging between the knuckles of the first two fingers? --

5. Let me preface this by saying that I have nothing but respect for the game of golf. Moreover, many golfers are fine pool players. Still, the flare that I like the most is the one I call the "drunken golfer". This is the guy who is with several of his buddies, all of whom have tan
Dockers with big asses, sport shirts with paunches, big red noses, and a penchant for screaming... "Get in there!" and "Get there!! Getthere!!" Sharking among them is not only tolerated, but expected, and the most common method of annoying the shark seems to be self-medication to the point of catatonia. These guys all have eye/hand co-ordination
greater than the average Joe, but none of them seem to be able to actually play.

6. The aggressive chalker (spins cue into chalk cube with such vigor that I expect a fire to break out), the stick dropper, and the guy who gets annoyed with ball-in-hand fouls ("that's for wimps!").

7. Don't forget the guy that screams "dirty pool" when you play a safety.

8. Moving the cue ball a butt diameter away from the cushion (ala miniature golf); this is one of my favorites because I learned this when I first played.

9. In addition to the "stick twirl, there is also the "rack twirl". Especially when they hit themselves in the face or drop it on the freshly racked balls.

10. The stilt bridge (fingertips down, hand up off the table for no good reason).

11. Walking around the 9ft table a couple of times, and then asking where to put the quarters.

12. Playing on eight foot tables when there are nine footers available.

13. Keeping their bankroll in their wallet.

14. Standing close to the table while the other player is playing. Could be ignorance, could be a shark.

15. Bragging about how good they are. The dangerous players tell you they have bad backs, haven't played for a month, can't make a ball, just got over the flu, etc.

16. Playing eight ball could be a flare, could be a come on.

17. Missing a long shot (that you estimate they make maybe one out of three times) and then standing for several seconds completely frozen in place displaying a look of utter disbelief that borders on absolute shock.

18. Watching them line up their shot. Right before they shoot, you can tell they're going to miss by a mile.

19. Or, they lay their cue all over the table trying to figure out the angles, and the places the ball will hit after they go 14 rails for their shot.(this usually results in about 5 balls being knocked around).

20. Another good one is, when they get snookered, and can't get a shot on they're next ball, they just hit the $hit out of the cue ball, and if something does happen to fall, they step up to shoot again, no matter what ball they hit first.

21. The "ball" bridge (holding on to a ball to make a bridge).

22. I like the one where the guy or gal racks 8-ball. They spend 15 minutes trying to get the solids/stripes in perfectly alternating order. Is this a rule somewhere?

23. How about the player who vigorously shakes the rack back and forth hoping the balls will settle into a tight rack.

24. And don't forget the guy that thinks the Sardo tight rack is "probably a good thing."

25. And let's not forget the guys that grab a house cue and roll it all over the table to check straightness like it's gonna hamper *their* game if it's not exactly on. And they never even look at the tip, the most important part.

26. Or the player who jacks the butt of his cue on every shot so that the cue is about a 45-degree angle with the table and shoots every shot at warp speed.

27. Slamming the stick against the rail on every missed shot?

28. Budweiser cue. Or better, "My buddy sold me this Budweiser cue for only $150 dollars!"

29. "I always shoot better when I'm drunk." is number one!

30. Using 2 lbs of talc, most of it going on top of the table.

31. Chalking up only once, right after he got it off the rack. Once is good for the whole night!

32. Puts beer bottle in the pocket while shooting.

33. Placing the chalk on the ground or against the ceiling when chalking.

34. Jumping by scooping under the cue ball.

35. How about shooting directly at an object ball that's separated from the cueball by several inches, perhaps as much as 8 inches, then following through so far that the cueball goes foreword as fast as the object ball. When you call a foul, he has no clue as to what you're talking about.

36. Alternates back and forth between one eye open and both eyes open, trying to aim the shot 'just right', while swinging the cue in a curved arc nowhere near the line of the shot. Then gives YOU advice on how to play!)

37. The guy that teaches his girlfriend how to make a bridge, of course he's teaching her to put her forefinger on the top of the shaft not around it.

38. The guy that misses the pocket by a mile but sends it 2 more rails into a corner or side and walks away like he meant to do it.

39. "THE CLAW" rail bridge (also known as the "EAGLE TALON" in some states).

40. Don't forget the ever cool method of putting chalk on the ground, inserting cue into the cube and spinning the cue with the inside of foot. Wow! I'm impressed just thinking about it.

41. How about hitting the shaft on the side of the table to knock the chalk residue off after chalking?

42. Smokers who try to hold a cigarette in their mouth when they shoot and they have to hold their head sideways so the smoke won't get in their eyes. Or they set it on the rail where it rolls onto the cloth or the floor.

43. Holding a lit cigarette in grip hand while shooting.

44. Chalk upside down on rail.

45. Sitting on the cushions.

46. Grinding the chalk into the cloth to mark a spot.

<hr></blockquote>

47. excessive,useless postings thru newsgroups.BS

SPetty
05-21-2002, 09:25 AM
Hi Tom,

Don't forget the guy who explains to his date that the Simonis cloth is all worn out - see how smooth it is?

MikeM
05-21-2002, 09:34 AM
Bill,

Did the nine go? Which body english did you use? Left body or right body? I've been experimenting with wiggle, twist and shimmy and hope to learn jump-up-and-down english some day. /ccboard/images/icons/laugh.gif

MM

05-21-2002, 09:51 AM

05-21-2002, 11:22 AM
Tom, you've obviously put alot of thought in to this post. Of course you know the real key is being able to figure out which ones are doing these things on purpose to deceive you in to thinking they can't play. These really good road players / hustlers are guilty of intentionally committing alot of these habits as part of their hustle - to lure players in to a game. The successful ones have learned to always play just good enough to win despite these awful habits, and manage (if it all possible) never to play anybody good enough or for enough money to have to show their true speed. Even when they leave the poolroom with a bankroll you're left wondering how the heck they won.

I can think of a few more to add to your list:

1. The player that asks us at the counter if we have a 9-ball rack, asking us for hand chalk / talc, and/or asking for a rule book.

2. Racking the balls at the wrong end of the table - even though the rack hook is located at the foot end along with the foot spot and the triangle marker drawn on the cloth around the outside of the rack.

3. The player that uses the break cloth/pad to wipe their stick down, and some even place it in their bridge hand for the shaft to glide between as they are shooting.

I believe the best and most telling one you came up with is the player that talks about how good they are or at least how good they used to be. It's almost a sure bet this guy can't shoot a lick. - Chris in NC

cheesemouse
05-21-2002, 11:36 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>Not to change the subject guys, and maybe this would be for another thread, but what are some of your favorite hustling tricks. Yeah, Yeah, everyone on this site is just too donegone goody goody to admit they hustle LOL.<hr></blockquote>
Whitewolf,
How about walking into the local action joint on Friday at 6pm with your Chevron coverals, a name tag that says Ivan Assistant Manager, a grease smear on your cheek, a tire tester in your breast pocket, a pay stub in the other breast pocket, no cue and you walk up to bar and order a double shot w/beer back throw'm down then look around say anybody want to pay some pooool.......I guarantee you will get action. /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif Of course I would never do that. LOL LOL!!!!!!

05-21-2002, 11:39 AM
I'd add one to this list:

The use of the term "player". I've had someone say he wanted to gamble by saying "I'm a player." I've had a drunk redneck ask why I was playing 9-ball, and said "Are you a player?" Etc...

05-21-2002, 11:47 AM

05-21-2002, 11:47 AM
I think it would be more useful to know the signs that indicate someone who can play really well. The few excellent players I played against in the 60s all seemed to be able to concentrate completely on the table when they were shooting. And before they ever shot you could just see something in their eyes the way they watched and usually stared at a shooter they were hoping would play them.

Jay M
05-21-2002, 12:21 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: cheesemouse:</font><hr>
Whitewolf,
How about walking into the local action joint on Friday at 6pm with your Chevron coverals, a name tag that says Ivan Assistant Manager, a grease smear on your cheek, a tire tester in your breast pocket, a pay stub in the other breast pocket, no cue and you walk up to bar and order a double shot w/beer back throw'm down then look around say anybody want to pay some pooool.......I guarantee you will get action. /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif Of course I would never do that. LOL LOL!!!!!! <hr></blockquote>

Heh, you've never stopped in Pro Billiards in Orlando and run into Luis Viera after work I take it...

Luis owns an auto body shop and I've seen him in his work clothes a few times...

lol

Jay M

rackmup
05-21-2002, 12:30 PM
...rackmup has never hustled anyone. I'm new to the game and just learning the ropes. I've watched some guys who are really good though. Did you know, in the movie, "The Color of Money", the whiskey Paul Newman was sipping and selling at the bar wasn't really whiskey at all? It's true! Now that's a hustle! I don't mind playing some cheap pool with friends...maybe $10 race to 3's (I get the breaks and the 8) but to hustle someone? NEVER!

Regards,

Ken (going to the YMCA for my pool lessons)

05-21-2002, 12:31 PM
I am not sure to be happy or sad that I still am guilty of seven or so of your observations. I suppose it could be worse, six months ago I would have been around 15+.

Maybe someday I'll be able to lick my cue twirling antics. Sometimes I just can't help myself, its meditative.

Thanks for the smiles tom, along with a bit of advice.

-Al

Jay M
05-21-2002, 12:41 PM
Gods, am I guilty of THAT many of these??

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>
2. The stick twirl, a la Tom Cruise.
<hr></blockquote>

I'm guilty of this one when I've been drinking, am playing a friend and make a wild one in a million shot.

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>
9. In addition to the "stick twirl, there is also the "rack twirl". Especially when they hit themselves in the face or drop it on the freshly racked balls.
<hr></blockquote>

been doing this since I was 8, doubt I'll ever break the habit

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>
13. Keeping their bankroll in their wallet.
<hr></blockquote>

Always... although I do take any winnings and just stuff them into a front pocket.

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>
22. I like the one where the guy or gal racks 8-ball. They spend 15 minutes trying to get the solids/stripes in perfectly alternating order. Is this a rule somewhere?
<hr></blockquote>

Not 15 minutes, but that IS how I rack them from habit.

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>
32. Puts beer bottle in the pocket while shooting.
<hr></blockquote>

Not me, but a close friend does this... and he shoots about the same speed as I do.

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>
38. The guy that misses the pocket by a mile but sends it 2 more rails into a corner or side and walks away like he meant to do it.
<hr></blockquote>

I do this deliberately, I make so many kicks banks and caroms 2 or more rails that I'll let my opponent wonder if I meant the shot or not.

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>
44. Chalk upside down on rail.
<hr></blockquote>

I do this too, when I set the chalk down, the very last thing I am worried about is whether the chalk is right side up or not...

Does this mean I can't play?

Jay M

05-21-2002, 12:47 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Jay M:</font><hr>
22. I like the one where the guy or gal racks 8-ball. They spend 15 minutes trying to get the solids/stripes in perfectly alternating order. Is this a rule somewhere?

Not 15 minutes, but that IS how I rack them from habit.

Jay M <hr></blockquote>

When you are done, do you end up with the two back corner balls being different? Meaning, one is a stripe, and one is solid? If not, it's not a legal rack. /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif

Tom_In_Cincy
05-21-2002, 01:10 PM
Eddie,
I have been guilty of almost all of these 'Flares' at one time or another.. its good that I can laugh at them now..

As far as signs of a good player? just add 'ever seen someone that doesn't do these things? they just might be good players.

But, if you find that these FLARES are happening with just two players.. they might be trying to set up a little hustle also..

Always a good idea to scope out the new players in a pool hall or when in a strange hall too..

Tom_In_Cincy
05-21-2002, 01:15 PM
Very good point. These Flares are often used by hustlers.

I have been asked by players "since there is a folder for signing up to play in the Straight Pool league.. is there one for Gays too?"

Takes all kinds. I guess..

Tom_In_Cincy
05-21-2002, 01:19 PM
Whitewolf,

Hustling tricks? Well that could be another thread.. but from what perspective? the hustler or the on being hustled?

Both would be interesting.. and if I were to share those stories.. from both perspectives, I would be knocking a lot of hustlers today.. ... but the really good hustlers end up making the fish thankful that the worm tasted so good.

Tom_In_Cincy
05-21-2002, 01:21 PM
Now that is one that HAS to be added..Good one indeed.. we have a billiard table and I have to remember to use that line one day.. thanks

05-21-2002, 01:23 PM

Tom_In_Cincy
05-21-2002, 01:23 PM
ROTFLMAO

Great one.. this is also going to be added to my list..

Thanks..

Tom_In_Cincy
05-21-2002, 01:25 PM
BS
Thanks for responding, mine yours and my reply add 3 more to your example..

rackmup
05-21-2002, 01:35 PM
Read the article below for info on Cue Twirling:

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>Monday, May 6, 2002

Beer swilling competitors give tournament a whirl during cue stick twirling competition

By Herman Nasal
Waxahachie-Journal

Miller Lites and cue cases were everywhere as about 150 men and women spun, kicked and twirled their way through a day of competition at the Waxahachie Pig and Beer Festival on Sunday.

The competitors, ranging in age from 13 to 90, competed in the 7th annual "Tom Cruise National Cue Stick Twirling Association Northwest Texas Twirling Gala" held at the Waxahachie Town Fair.

Competition segments included spinning the cue in their hands; twirling with one or two cues; cue tossing; and "Strutting to the "Werewolves of London" freestyle event in which individual contestants danced with their cues to the beat of music, performed live by the "Somewhat Greatful Dead" (a Grateful Dead Musical Appreciation troupe.)

Competitors came from as far away as the Midland/Odessa area, said event co-chair Belinda Highcock.

"Usually we have some from as far away as Dallas," Highcock said. "But, I think there was a competition at CJ's Billiard Palace this weekend, so they stayed closer to home."

Cue Stick twirling became popular after the release of the movie, "The Color of Money", starring Paul Newman and Tom Cruise. After several near fatal accidents and many eye injuries (some resulting in vision loss), the "Cue Stick Twirlers of America" was formed and guidelines set in place to promote safety in this fast-growing sport. "It just sort of grew" said Thom "Vincent" Cruz, the founder of the association. "We hope to see cue twirling as an Olympic competition someday."

Well, we do too Thom. We do too...for there is nothing more beautiful than a well executed cue stick twirl.<hr></blockquote>

Regards,

Ken (doesn't twirl his stick in public...it makes the wife angry)

MikeM
05-21-2002, 01:58 PM
I have been working dilligently on my hustle moves. I've got the part down about convincing everyone that I can't play a lick. The beating them and taking their money part is the one I'm having problems with!

MM

05-21-2002, 04:39 PM
Great posts. Only thing is those that can not play, and they outnumber those that can play, are paying the rent at most of the rooms. In a lot of instances those that can play expect free this and free that since they are "frequent customers" and think that the proprietor owes them something for hanging out all hours of the day and night and maybe spending a buck on a softdrink in an 8 hour period.

BillPorter
05-21-2002, 05:52 PM
Mike, as I recall, the nine went smack into the rail. When the shot is so far off that extreme body english is called for, it rarely ever goes (unless maybe two rails in the side). I have sometimes jumped up on a shot and applied body english on the way down. Still working on masse body english.

BillPorter
05-21-2002, 06:09 PM
Tom, I just read all the posts in this thread and I don't think anyone mentioned the guy who asks you where he can get some more screw-on tips for his cue.

Scott Lee
05-21-2002, 06:41 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Jay M:</font><hr> 44. Chalk upside down on rail.
&lt;hr&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;

I do this too, when I set the chalk down, the very last thing I am worried about is whether the chalk is right side up or not...

Does this mean I can't play?

Jay M <hr></blockquote>

Jay...No, it doesn't mean you can't play. It just means you're a mindless idiot! LOL No offense, but get serious and quit dirtying the tables! It takes NO thought at all to replace the chalk face up when you set it down on the table. This is an annoying habit many new poolplayers do unintentionally, because they don't know better. Once they are educated about why NOT to leave the chalk face down, they are generally courteous enough to do that. Real poolplayers should know better already! JMO This is a bad habit that you CAN break!

Scott Lee

Doctor_D
05-21-2002, 06:55 PM
Good evening:

One of the ways I aleviate this problem, for myself anyway, is to carry my own chalk and keep it in my pocket. Besides, most of the chalk available at rooms and especially taverns is downright nasty.

Dr. D.

Jay M
05-21-2002, 07:33 PM
lol Scott, I'm also the guy that cleans the table and wipes down the rails before and after I play...

Jay M

Cuemage
05-21-2002, 08:49 PM
Scott,
I go one better &amp; place the chalk sideways so it doesn't mark my clothes or get the table dirty...

Tha Cuemage

Ralph S.
05-21-2002, 10:11 PM
Tom, what a great post!! It took me 25 minutes to stop laughing after I read it. I found it so hillarious and true that I am making a copy to disk for a friend of mine. You are a first class riot!!!!
Ralph S.

rackmup
05-22-2002, 05:20 AM
What about the guy that struts in, soft case in hand, wearing all black (with a tight t-shirt that has a pic of an 8-ball on it)...goes to the counter and says "I'll play on one of the big tables TODAY. My game is SO on lately."

He then walks over to the table, dumps the balls from the tray with the thunder of a dump truck dropping landscape boulders, removes his two-piece RED ALUMINUM CUE from the case, puts on TWO gloves (a right and a left), SCREWS on a new tip and chalks with RED CHALK.

A few minutes later, after failing to pocket any balls, he walks back up to the counter, tells the attendant the "snooker table" (it is actually a 4.5X9 GC) "isn't level" and wants to play on a bar box.

The guy was at Kolby's a few weeks before I moved from Arizona. He was horrible.

Regards,

Ken

Doctor_D
05-22-2002, 05:25 AM
Good morning:

Try this one on for size.

Centuries ago, when I worked for a leasing company, a guy came in and stated that he needed to rent a truck and that he needed a "Big" one. When the rental manager was reviewing the truck and the clearence requirements with him the "Guy" turned to the rental manager and asked, as he sat behind the wheel of the 22' rental truck, "What is the Third Pedal For?"

True Story !!!

Dr. D.

Wally_in_Cincy
05-22-2002, 08:20 AM
The only one I'll admit to is practicing on an 8-footer but you know I have a reason for that because I'm a barbox player.
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Don't forget the guy who thinks he is helping his girlfriend learn to play by pointing to a spot on the object ball and saying "Hit it here". Never mind any of that stance, bridge, or stroke stuff.

Also the young guy who assumes that the harder you hit your shot the better chance it has of going in.

Fred Agnir
05-22-2002, 10:35 AM
The Karate Chop Masse' (with one's hand) is a big annoyance and a flare.

So is raking the chalk off the rail towards you with the stick. Even if there are balls on the table.

Saying "I'm way off tonight."

Calling Bar Rules "Straight 8." Grrrrrr.....

Calling diamonds "dots."

A guy (the owner of our home team bar) who thinks he's all that at pool said one time while someone else was "coaching" a kick shot, "what's those diamonds have to do with anything?"

The expression of "he don't impress me" is a sure flare.

So is "I usually make that shot"

And the number one flare in my books is when someone says that this game is all mental. ;-)

Fred &lt;~~~ just trying to help

rackmup
05-22-2002, 10:51 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>40. Don't forget the ever cool method of putting chalk on the ground, inserting cue into the cube and spinning the cue with the inside of foot. Wow! I'm impressed just thinking about it.<hr></blockquote>

I watched a guy perform a variation of this classic "flare"...

...he held the chalk in his hand while spinning the cue with his foot. Somehow, he managed to get his shoe laces wrapped around the butt of the cue and tripped, losing his balance and ultimately, he fell to the ground. His cue somehow managed to get tied up between his legs and snapped in half at the joint upon impact with the ground.

Later, while drowning his sorrows at the bar, he leaned his barstool back on it's two rear legs and lost his balance. As his stool tipped backwards, he grabbed at the bar, missing it but knocking over his beer in the process. It spilled onto the bar and into his soft cue case.

As if this wasn't enough, the bartender, having seen the guy fall twice, took his keys and made him take a cab home. He wasn't even drunk! The cab gets there and the cabbie, apparently having been stiffed before by drunks, asks the guy if he can see $20 (the approximate amount of the cab ride.) The guy reaches for his wallet, finds his pocket empty and remembers his wallet was next to the beer he just spilled on the bar.

It was gone, so was the cue case with the busted cue as was the guy sitting next to him at the bar.

We never saw him again.

Regards,

Ken (no...it WASN'T me)

Wally_in_Cincy
05-23-2002, 05:56 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Fred Agnir:</font><hr>
Calling Bar Rules "Straight 8." Grrrrrr..... <hr></blockquote>

Most of the people in my APA league call it "straight pool".

So if I mention the Cincinnati Straight Pool League to anyone I have to explain that it's not 8-ball.

Hope this helps...

05-23-2002, 12:00 PM
oh god that one was funny