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wolfdancer
12-03-2004, 04:52 PM
Ramblings of a Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell
phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one. So, I'm
wearing my garage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that
people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing
husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when you
still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to
bounce it'.
I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say,
"Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for
company!"

Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified
in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just
put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look
for them while they deliver the mail?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole
lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming
for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.