View Full Version : Bush Deploys Vowels to Bosnia

12-27-2004, 02:31 PM


Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients.

Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Bush announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A,E,I,O and U, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.

"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Bush said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say `Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavour."

The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Movement by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500 24-count boxes of "E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.

Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels.

"I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44, said. "I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr. Bush, please send my poor, wretched family just one 'E' Please."

Said Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could be George Humphries. This is my dream."

The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign country since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital, life-giving supplies of L's, S's and T's.<hr /></blockquote>
Now I realize that these countries are desperately in need of these letters, but we really need to take care of our own first. Hawaii is in desperate need of consonants. Some places like Maui and Kauai only have one, while other places like Kaunakakai and Waikiki are forced to use the same one or two over and over. The shortage even more evident in in cities like Kaaawa and Kapaa, where they are obviously trying to pretend that the letter "a" can be substituted for a real consonant. In the meantime, states like Mississippi have a bare minimum of vowels, and consonants to spare. Heck, it seems like they have so many consonants they don't know where to put them all.

I'm not saying we have to keep them all, but I think they should be distributed more evenly here at home before we just start shipping them out to the rest of the world.

/ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

12-27-2004, 02:38 PM
Wasn't there a catcher for the Padres names Doug Ghwodsz or something like that (pronounced gooch)

His teammates called him "eyechart" /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

12-27-2004, 10:56 PM
lol classic!!!

12-28-2004, 10:21 AM
Sounds like the basis for a trade agreement to me. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Cueless Joey
12-28-2004, 01:47 PM
I hope the plan totally eliminates WMC's ( Words of Mass Consonants).
I nominate ex-boxer Bobby Czyz and now Showtime Boxing commentator to head the invasion. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif