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SPetty
01-21-2005, 07:44 PM
WOMEN'S ADS:

<font color="blue">40-ish:</font color> 49
<font color="blue">Adventurer:</font color> Slept with all your friends
<font color="blue">Athletic:</font color> No tits
<font color="blue">Average looking:</font color> Has a face like a basset hound
<font color="blue">Beautiful:</font color> Pathological liar
<font color="blue">Contagious Smile:</font color> Does a lot of Ecstasy
<font color="blue">Educated:</font color> Banged her Political Science professor
<font color="blue">Emotionally Secure:</font color> Medicated
<font color="blue">Feminist:</font color> Fat ball buster
<font color="blue">Free spirit:</font color> Junkie
<font color="blue">Friendship first:</font color> Trying to live down reputation as a slut
<font color="blue">Fun:</font color> Annoying
<font color="blue">Gentle:</font color> Comatose
<font color="blue">Good Listener:</font color> Borderline Autistic
<font color="blue">New-Age:</font color> All body hair, all the time
<font color="blue">Old-fashioned:</font color> Lights out, missionary position only
<font color="blue">Open-minded:</font color> Desperate
<font color="blue">Outgoing:</font color> Loud and Embarrassing
<font color="blue">Passionate:</font color> Sloppy drunk
<font color="blue">Poet:</font color> Depressive Schizophrenic
<font color="blue">Professional:</font color> Certified Bitch
<font color="blue">Redhead:</font color> Bad dye-job
<font color="blue">Reubenesque:</font color> Grossly Fat
<font color="blue">Romantic:</font color> Looks better by candle light
<font color="blue">Social:</font color> Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
<font color="blue">Voluptuous:</font color> Very Fat
<font color="blue">Height/weight proportional:</font color> Hugely Fat
<font color="blue">Wants Soul mate:</font color> Stalker
<font color="blue">Widow:</font color> Drove first husband to shoot himself
<font color="blue">Young at heart:</font color> Old bat

MEN'S ADS:

<font color="red">40-ish:</font color> 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
<font color="red">Athletic:</font color> Watches a lot of NASCAR
<font color="red">Average looking:</font color> Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, &amp; back
<font color="red">Educated:</font color> Will patronize the sh!t out of you
<font color="red">Free Spirit:</font color> Banging your sister
<font color="red">Friendship first:</font color> As long as friendship involves nookie
<font color="red">Fun:</font color> Good with a remote and a six pack
<font color="red">Good looking:</font color> Arrogant
<font color="red">Very good looking:</font color> Dumb as a board
<font color="red">Honest:</font color> Pathological Liar
<font color="red">Huggable:</font color> Overweight, more body hair than a bear
<font color="red">Likes to cuddle:</font color> Insecure mama's boy
<font color="red">Mature:</font color> Older than your father
<font color="red">Open-minded:</font color> Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
<font color="red">Physically fit:</font color> Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
<font color="red">Poet:</font color> Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
<font color="red">Sensitive:</font color> Cries at chick flicks
<font color="red">Very sensitive:</font color> Gay
<font color="red">Spiritual:</font color> Got laid in a cemetery once
<font color="red">Stable:</font color> Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
<font color="red">Thoughtful:</font color> Says "Excuse me" when he farts

nAz
01-21-2005, 08:49 PM
sounds like my type of girly!
Open-minded: Desperate
Passionate: Sloppy drunk /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Sounds like me...
Friendship first: As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun: Good with a remote and a six pack
Physically fit: BCL