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nhp
01-29-2005, 03:32 AM
So tonight I went out with my friends for the first time in a month. One of my close friends promotes for nightclubs, and tonight he threw a club on Sunset Blvd in Hollywood, CA. I was having a great time, had a beer and half of a cocktail but was completely sober. One of my friends has a sister that is about my age, and I've had a crush on her ever since I first met her. My friend, who is 4 years old than me, is kind of over-protective for his sister. A group of us went out to the dance floor, and since I don't dance much, I lagged behind, and as I was walking I saw Tracy Bingham, the babe from Baywatch over at the bar. I went over to get a closer look, and my friend's sister tapped me on the shoulder. We started talking, and she told me that she had a crush on me, and I told her the same. Next thing you know, we were making out the rest of the night in the VIP room. I told her that I wanted to date her, and she wanted to also, but she wasn't sure what to tell her brother. I offered to talk to him, but she said she didn't know if he would get angry, and begged me to keep it a secret for now until the time is right. So later on before we left, I ran into her brother again, and he looked pissed off. I have a feeling he saw us, but I didn't want to confront him about it just yet, for the sake of his sister. What do you think I should do? I really like this girl, both of us were sober when this happened (I don't like to get drunk). Should I wait a while and then tell him, or should I find another way to deal with this? Like have his sister inadvertently ask him? My friendship is on the line here. I also remember about two years ago, he told me that if anyone were to date his sister, he would want it to be me, because at that time I treated my current girlfriend like a queen. I don't know if he still feels the same way, since we don't talk to each other that often anymore. Any advice?

SnakebyteXX
01-29-2005, 07:15 AM
[ QUOTE ]
My friend, who is 4 years old than me, is kind of over-protective for his sister... <hr /></blockquote>

[ QUOTE ]
We started talking, and she told me that she had a crush on me, and I told her the same. Next thing you know, we were making out the rest of the night in the VIP room... <hr /></blockquote>

[ QUOTE ]
I told her that I wanted to date her, and she wanted to also, but she wasn't sure what to tell her brother. I offered to talk to him, but she said she didn't know if he would get angry, and begged me to keep it a secret for now until the time is right... <hr /></blockquote>

[ QUOTE ]
later on before we left, I ran into her brother again, and he looked pissed off. I have a feeling he saw us, but I didn't want to confront him about it just yet, for the sake of his sister. What do you think I should do? <hr /></blockquote>

First off, it's not at all uncommon for brothers to be overly-protective of their sisters. However, that does not give them the right to dictate terms of whom their sisters should see or whom they shouldn't. Brothers do have the right to express an opinion - but that's about it.

A few things jump out here: First, that the two of you are attracted to one another and made the move to let one another know. Second that even though you both were aware of her brother's over-protective attitude you both chose to 'make out for the rest of the night in the VIP room'. This kind of public display of affection flies in the face of her claim to want to keep your budding relationship secret 'until the time is right'.

Under the circumstances, on your part, making out in public with the guy's sister while knowing how he feels about protecting her constitutes a form of disrespect. On her part, claiming that she wants to keep the relationship a secret while flaunting herself with you in public is contradictory. Maybe she feels the danger of getting caught by her brother adds an extra element of excitement for her?

The problem with playing the game that way is that it is dishonest and you risk alienating her brother and losing his friendship. My suggestion to you is that you call this woman and tell her that you like her and want to see her again but that you also care about her brother's feelings and sneaking around behind his back would be disrespectful of him.

You're kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place here because (from your description) it sounds like the cat's already out of the bag. I suggest you do a little damage control before things get past the point of no return. The brother likes you for a reason - maybe part of that reason is that he knows he can trust you? It might not be in your best interest here to prove him wrong.

Just my dos centavos and worth what you paid for them.

Snake

dg-in-centralpa
01-29-2005, 09:16 AM
Snake - I agree with you. Several other things jump out at me. Is she really hot for NHP, or is she using him to get back at a recent relationship or get back at her brother for being so over-protective? If he's a friend of NHP, why not just tell him how much he cares for the girl?

DG

Sid_Vicious
01-29-2005, 09:40 AM
Tell him. I had a recent experience which lasted over a year where there was a friend of mine and past boyfriend of a lady I was "half dating", and I was using the good friend as a block from getting things started. Once the dating began between the lady and I, and the friend of mine was told directly, he was as he put it, 100% behind it. Leaving it in the shadows on her brother will cause more damage than you know. If he is a real friend, he'll be happy. If he's not happy, then he'll get over it, but my believe today is that you are entering into something exciting, and the brother will say "yes", then the real excitement come for you. Run with it Friend...sid

Btw, getting the sister to be there with you when the news about this is anounced does two things. It anchors the honesty between all three of y'all, and most of all it might tell you what her personal intentions today really mean to her. Do it together, that's as important as anything else today.

Vapros
01-29-2005, 10:12 AM
I will assume that all three people involved here are teenagers. Sounds like a double-tough gig. When you go to the movies, you will need three tickets in the back row, each and every time. Get used to it.

hondo
01-31-2005, 06:31 AM
Uh........ tell us more about Tracy Bingham.

Deeman2
01-31-2005, 06:50 AM
nhp,

Go for it! Life is too short to let a possible good relationship go away. Her brother will be fine with it of grow up, just treat her like you did your previous girlfriend. Love is too good to miss out on....

Good Luck,

Deeman
Ann Lander's in slightly larger pants.....