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View Full Version : Chalk, Ten things you were afraid to ask about it



Deeman2
03-24-2005, 10:13 AM
1) Chalk is not bought at Walmart, Walmart is for toys, poor novels and cheap clothing.
2) Once the dimple is over 1/4 inch deep, it is no longer chalk, it is a ferrel ring marking device.
3) Chalk does not need to be screwed. You are not attaching it to anything, A gentle rolling motion while rotating the cue is sufficient.
4) Chalk that has it's own characteristic markings (a Deeman skull with a black background) is not community property and will be taken away from you if you persist.
5) Chalk is not embarrassed, It does not need to be laid face down on the rail. This is slovenly. Your mother should have taught you better.
6) If you have one of those retractable chalk holders or a piece on a lanyard, you will not need four other pieces laying on the table.
7) Ladies, when you are wearing thong undies and we drop the chalk, we are not intending to pick it up ourselves.
8) If it is used up, broken or wet, let it go. Be at peace. Chalk is not a major budget item nor a family member, even to bar players.
9) If you are not using Masters Chalk, the next time you miscue, you will think of me, you will!
10) If you are not doing the Deeman bake to your chalk, God will punish you, one day......

Deeman

Rackin_Zack
03-24-2005, 11:50 AM
What is the Deeman bake?!

Cane
03-24-2005, 12:03 PM
Zack, Read the thread "Chalk... is there a difference" I think that's where we discussed it.

Bob

Deeman2
03-24-2005, 12:09 PM
O.K. we CAN call it the Deeman/Cane Bake!!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Cane
03-24-2005, 12:18 PM
Dee, OH, NO ... I want you to have all the credit, my friend, especially when these guys wives come home and go into a rant about how their food is going to taste like that damn chalk!!!

Bob (afraid of angry wives!)

Nostroke
03-24-2005, 12:34 PM
What about?

11. It is not a musical instrument or a device that should be used to gain the attention you seek by squeaking as loudly as possible. We know you are chalking, now quiet down!!

Deeman2
03-24-2005, 12:50 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Nostroke:</font><hr> What about?

11. It is not a musical instrument or a device that should be used to gain the attention you seek by squeaking as loudly as possible. We know you are chalking, now quiet down!! <hr /></blockquote>

<font color="blue"> Good one, Nostroke. I see you've played against Archer! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif </font color>

Nostroke
03-24-2005, 01:51 PM
Yeah-Some guys know they can't win but still wanna play.

Popcorn
03-24-2005, 03:18 PM
When I was in my teens I played at a small bowling alley with 8 GC tables. They used to never give you good chalk unless you asked, most of the time it was half used. They had a huge box under the desk with used up chalk in it. One day the owner takes a few pieces to the work shop behind the machines where the lane mechanic had all the tools. He hack sawed off a few pieces of chalk making them useful again although a little thinner. hinking what a great idea, He gives the whole box of used up chalk at least a few hundred pieces to the kid that works there and tells him to cut them all down. Instead the kid, who was a little slow anyway, uses a grinder and grinds them down. He did this in the back room behind the machines. In no time the pins were looking off white and some almost blue. The chalk that has a very fine dust was pulled by the air condition right through the machines and it was every where. They had to take the pins out and clean them and clean the machines. This was just a small 24 lane place and they had to clean about half the machines shutting them down for a whole night. It must have cost Sol around $1000. Chalk by the way at that time was around $8.00 a gross box. We never let Sol live that one down.

SPetty
03-24-2005, 03:27 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Popcorn:</font><hr> The chalk that has a very fine dust was pulled by the air condition right through the machines and it was every where. <hr /></blockquote>It was about this time that I'm laughing out loud here... Great story! /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

MosconiJr
03-25-2005, 06:35 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Deeman2:</font><hr>
7) Ladies, when you are wearing thong undies and we drop the chalk, we are not intending to pick it up ourselves.

Deeman <hr /></blockquote>

Amen

Perk
03-25-2005, 08:25 AM
Thats too funny Popcorn. Just last night, I was hitting balls at a friends really small poolhall (closed for repairs). Anyways, he mentions that he has a HUGE box of used chalk, and he is going to grind them down for the people to use. I just laughed at how cheap that sounded, but after reading your post, I got a good laugh out of it. Thanks.

poolturtle
03-27-2005, 10:22 AM
I vote we make a new rule about chalk.

Personal chalk usage should be considered a territory marker. My chalk goes on my cue, etc.

If you are caught using someone else's personal chalk w/o permission, you have just marked your cue as part of the chalk owners territory. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Kind of like dogs marking their territory, ya know? "my chalk's on it, so it must be mine!"

SpiderMan
03-28-2005, 08:40 AM
I guess I'm cheap too. I've been known to take a cube of drilled-out chalk outside, and scrub it's face on the sidewalk to get a fresh start.

SpiderMan

SpiderMan
03-28-2005, 08:44 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Deeman2:</font><hr> 2) Once the dimple is over 1/4 inch deep, it is no longer chalk, it is a ferrel ring marking device.
Deeman <hr /></blockquote>
Actually, it becomes more suitable for bar drunks after there's a good "well hole" going. Otherwise, they would never be able to hold it on the end of their cue.

For that reason, I consider myself doing the bars a favor by "breaking in" all their chalk cubes. I use one for a few weeks, just long enough to break it in so drunks can use it. Then, whenever I discover a fresh piece in need of preparation, I trade.

SpiderMan

Deeman2
03-28-2005, 09:18 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote SpiderMan:</font><hr> I consider myself doing the bars a favor by "breaking in" all their chalk cubes. I use one for a few weeks, just long enough to break it in so drunks can use it. Then, whenever I discover a fresh piece in need of preparation, I trade.

<font color="blue">Spiderman,

I do that as well. Of course, the ones I leave have the Deeman wrapper on them so I can always claim them later if needed. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

I had one guy say, "I like this Deeman chalk as much as Masters." I told him it was made by the same good folks at Tweeten... /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif </font color>

Deeman

SpiderMan <hr /></blockquote>