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wolfdancer
04-12-2005, 02:38 PM
Guy from California walked into his local bar with a big grin on his face.
What are you so happy about?" asked the bartender.
"Well, I'll tell you, bar-keep" he replied, you know I live in a cardboard shanty down by the railroad tracks"...."well, on my way home last night I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies"...."of course I went and cut her free and took her back to my place"...."anyway, to cut a long story short, I scored BIG TIME!"...."we made love ALL night long, ALL over the house"...."we did EVERYTHING, me on top, sometimes her on top!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the bartender. "You lucky slob, was she pretty?
"Dunno, bar-keep....never found her head.".....

Heard this one on Dennis Miller's show:
The late Pope was not only a problem for Communists, but came down
hard on capitolism also.
The story goes....He was praying and asked God, if there would ever
be peace for mankind
and God Replied"I'm afraid, Not in your lifetime"
He then asked God "When will there be another Polish Pope?"...and God replied
"I'm afraid, not in my lifetime"