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Deeman2
04-21-2005, 12:09 PM
We will publish our manifesto soon.

We Believe:

In eight of the ten commandments.

That school prayer should be mandatory.

That size does matter.

That caliber does matter (we prefer 50 cal.)

That Beer is one of the Food Groups.

That One Pocket should be designated the National Pastime. (Is Alex on steroids?)

That Dale Earnhart is not the son of God.

That there should be a bounty on Ted Kennedy.

That we can bomb France now and avoid the Spring rush.

That Michael Jackson would have been a less controversial Pope as he already knows how to play wiith kids.

That people who can't figure out how to operate a voting machine should not be allowed to vote, nor procreate.

That women should be put on pedestals (not so we can look up their dresses, mind you).

That we should outsource the senate and congress' jobs to China.

That Republicans are just as criminal as Democrats, just a tad smarter at winning.

That people should be able to marry whom they choose, be it person, farm animal or vegetable.

That we take the guns away from the police and give them to the bar patrons where they will be used more wisely.

That we re-name those job titles of people who drive the empty mini transit buses (that have not had a rider in years) to that of Parasite Grade II.

That we realise that the postal service is just another welfare jobs program, along with most breaucratic agencies.

That we don't need 50 senators and 500 congressmen along with 3,450,000 other government workers to mess thikngs up. Twelve old people in robes will do just fine.

That anyone who lives in a city and buys a Hummer will be forcably removed from the vehicle and have his p***s measured. If it is below the national average, he will be sent, along with his new purchase, to Bagdad where he can do some good.

That no one who has ever placed a bet on a Hog-Dog event can ever run for public office.

That we squeeze the right to possess person atomic weapons into the second amendment before the dems get back in power.

That we tatoo "PERVERT" on the forehead of any convicted rapist or child molester before turning them back into society as we can't kill them anymore (except in Texas).


Deeman

Wally_in_Cincy
04-21-2005, 12:21 PM
[ QUOTE ]
That anyone who lives in a city and buys a Hummer <font color="blue">(or a pit bull /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif ) </font color> will be forcably removed from the vehicle and have his p***s measured. <hr /></blockquote>

wolfdancer
04-21-2005, 01:02 PM
"If it is below the national average"
What is the national avg?....I'm only asking because I'm
thinking that the problem with prophylactics, is that like socks, one size is supposed to fit all.
My new startup comany will have three sizes...no, not soft, med, and...
There'll be
the Asian contagion
the Great White Hope
Black Beauty
not that these have anything to do with perceived racial inequalities

Deeman2
04-21-2005, 01:22 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote wolfdancer:</font><hr> "If it is below the national average"
What is the national avg?....I'm only asking because I'm
thinking that the problem with prophylactics, is that like socks, one size is supposed to fit all.
My new startup comany will have three sizes...no, not soft, med, and...
There'll be
the Asian contagion
the Great White Hope
Black Beauty
not that these have anything to do with perceived racial inequalities
<hr /></blockquote>

LOL, reserve me a dozen of the Asian ones but lable 'em Black Beauty...Uh. I have a friend who....., Uh. ugh!

Deeman
wondered what the gym teacher ment about measuring up!

Wally_in_Cincy
04-21-2005, 01:43 PM
So guys, do you go into the drugstore and buy extra-large even though you don't need them? /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

SpiderMan
04-21-2005, 03:11 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr> So guys, do you go into the drugstore and buy extra-large even though you don't need them? /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif <hr /></blockquote>

When I was a freshman in high school, we were all required to sign up for PE classes, and the first week we were sent home with a shopping list for appropriate clothing. We had to get shorts, shirt, shoes, socks, and a jockstrap.

So, after school, I wind up in the only sporting-goods store in the neighborhood. Behind the counter are the jockstraps, and the older sister of one of my friends. I'd been in love with this girl ever since she seemed to start noticing that I was "growing up", but was always pretty tongue-tied when it came to actually talking to her.

Cindy was a junior, and enrolled in salesmanship classes called "DE", distributive education. The school arranged co-op work for the DE students several afternoons each week at local stores. As luck would have it, she was behind the counter at the sporting-goods store that day.

I fooled around for what seemed like hours, hoping that a male employee would appear to hear my embarassing request, but no luck. Finally, as I realized the store was closing, I pulled together all my courage and stepped to the counter.

With no real understanding of the merchandise, Cindy looked at the bins behind the counter, labeled S, M, and L. Then she asked me if I needed a Short, a Medium, or a Long.

What could I say? I probably weighed all of 110 pounds at age 14, so I had to wear that thing all year with a knot tied in each side to keep it from slipping off my ass /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif. Never did hook up with Cindy, either.

SpiderMan

PQQLK9
04-21-2005, 03:44 PM
Thats too funny /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Oh by the way ....You know what they say about guys with big feet ....
&gt;
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
They wear big shoes. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Deeman2
04-22-2005, 05:10 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote PQQLK9:</font><hr> Thats too funny /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Oh by the way ....You know what they say about guys with big feet ....
&gt;
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;
They wear big shoes. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif <hr /></blockquote>

<font color="blue">I wear a size 13 shoe. Gee, I wish those rumors were true.... /ccboard/images/graemlins/frown.gif </font color>

Deeman

Spiderman,

My sister was President of Distributive Education for the Memphis Schools when she was a senior and elected to the National President as well. Maybe she could have put a word in with Cindy. Maybe it's never too later.

We gotta get you fixed up with a wife so you can share the misery....

MosconiJr
04-22-2005, 05:33 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote wolfdancer:</font><hr> "If it is below the national average"
What is the national avg?....I'm only asking because I'm
thinking that the problem with prophylactics, is that like socks, one size is supposed to fit all.
My new startup comany will have three sizes...no, not soft, med, and...
There'll be
the Asian contagion
the Great White Hope
Black Beauty
not that these have anything to do with perceived racial inequalities
<hr /></blockquote>
I remember my Dad taking me condom shopping for the first time. As we stood in front of the display, I asked why the condoms were packaged in packs of 1, 3, and 12. My Dad said that the 1 pack was for someone like me. New to sex, and not sure when I would need the condom. 1 in my wallet was plenty. He said the 3 pack was for college guys and young adults who may have sex 2 or 3 time per weekend and needed that many condoms. I asked my Dad why there was the 12 pack. He said, "Son, those are for married people. There's 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March......"

wolfdancer
04-22-2005, 09:07 AM
good one !!!!

9 Ball Girl
04-22-2005, 02:44 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Deeman2:</font><hr> That size does matter.<hr /></blockquote>Is that a Texas thing? I hear that Texans always boast about having the bigger things in life...Hmmm.

Wendy&lt;---63 more days and the South shall rise again! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif Yeeeeeeeeha!

Deeman2
04-25-2005, 06:01 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote Deeman2:</font><hr> That size does matter.<hr /></blockquote>Is that a Texas thing? <font color="blue">Not sure as Deeman is a native Tennessean, but from what I've seen, the only thikng tall here is their hats. </font color> I hear that Texans always boast about having the bigger things in life...Hmmm. <font color="blue">Now, that we are all good at, boasting but never having to measure up... </font color>

Wendy&lt;---63 more days and the South shall rise again! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif Yeeeeeeeeha! <font color="blue"> Truer words never uttered... </font color> <hr /></blockquote>

Deeman
can't wait to see Wendy...

SpiderMan
04-25-2005, 08:05 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote Deeman2:</font><hr> That size does matter.<hr /></blockquote>Is that a Texas thing? I hear that Texans always boast about having the bigger things in life...Hmmm.

Wendy&lt;---63 more days and the South shall rise again! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif Yeeeeeeeeha! <hr /></blockquote>

Driving from Memphis to El Paso, a schoolteacher on spring break notices that her "check engine" light is on. She stops and raises the hood, leaning 'way over to "check the engine". Meanwhile, a man in a pickup truck stops behind her.

Ignored at first, he walked up, shut the hood, flipped up her skirt, had his way, and drove off into the sunset, leaving her stuck in an embarassing position. She was so off-balance that she could only lay there with her feet swinging a few inches above the ground.

Minutes later, a Texas Ranger stops and extricates her from the awkward position. Taking her statement, he asks if there is anything at all that might help them identify and apprehend the culprit. "Well, he was one of those NATIVE TEXANS", she says. "Oh, did you see one of those stickers in his pickup window?", the ranger asked. "No", she replied, "I didn't see anything, but he had a great big belt buckle and a little bitty ####".

SpiderMan

Deeman2
04-25-2005, 09:38 AM
Spiderman,

You better watch it, you're awful deep into Teaxas to start a war. See, I can escape to Shrieveport in an hour...

Deeman

DickLeonard
04-26-2005, 05:33 AM
I just hate to see my name used with any thing Texas even if it demeans them.####

Deeman2
04-26-2005, 05:53 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote DickLeonard:</font><hr> I just hate to see my name used with any thing Texas even if it demeans them.#### <hr /></blockquote>

<font color="blue"> LOL, with a name like Dick, I don't think you have to worry about having your real life compared to a Texan....Good to see you have a sense of humor as well as a killer game. </font color>

Deeman