View Full Version : for any computer tech (funny stuff)

04-30-2005, 07:00 AM
Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was then heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.
6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the customer replied. When told "Egghead" was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."
8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was bad and an invalid. The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring that the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: Caller: Hello, is this Tech Support?
Tech: Yes, it is. How may I help you? Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed Tech: I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder" Caller: Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer. Tech: Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped; it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, like at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it? Caller: It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has 4X on it.
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive! Another well-known one that I can add is the true tale of the user who called up complaining that the instructions said to load the four diskettes into Drive A" but he couldn't possibly get more than two in.

and I personally have had a few calls such as this before, such as one time early on I helped this lady for about 30 minutes or so trying to find the source of a problem with her monitor not displaying a picture. I came up with so many good things to try when it turned out she just didn't have it hooked to her computer ( This is when I learned to start with simple stuff first when troubleshooting).
And also we had a new girl working in the store one time, and a customer called to see if we had mice. Her response "Oh Good Lord I hope not!!!"

04-30-2005, 10:05 AM
my favorite...and I don't remember all the details
the woman called up to say her screen was black, the computer wouldn't turn on. the tech finally thought that it may be unplugged or the power strip turned off...but she couldn't check...because the room was dark...the lights had also gone off. So he told her it was very serious, she would have to repack everything up, seal it in the box, and return it.....she said it's that bad, huh?...and he said yes, you're too dumb to own a computer.
With the lights off, we don't even know if she was blonde?

Cueless Joey
04-30-2005, 10:10 AM
That's amazing.
We know about the woman who closed all of her windows until the room got dark.
There was this older couple in a class one time in my old school. The instructor was showing them how to use a mouse on the projector. The couple starting pointing their mice at the projection screen like tv remote controls.
One of our techs called Pacific Bell one time b/c our routers appeared to be down. The Pacific Bell tech told her she was going to send a Quasi to test connectivity. Our tech asked the Pacific Bell tech who Quasi was. She's never met him, I guess. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

04-30-2005, 11:36 AM
You laugh at ignorance because you feel "powerful" that you are smarter.

04-30-2005, 12:16 PM
I wish Pac Bell had sent me a quasi, when I had their pos DSL...instead they sent their "tech",Quasimodo.