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Steve Lipsky
06-03-2005, 12:22 PM
From AZ Billiards: http://www.azbilliards.com/2000storya.cfm?storynum=2763

If I worked at a company considering a sponsorship of a pool tournament, and I saw this press release, I would RUN in the opposite direction.

Spelling and punctuation errors everywhere, including listing a "website" that when entered, my own browser alerted me that I was probably about to be the victim of a scam.

If you are in the business of writing things for public consumption, is it too much to ask that you know how to write professionally and use a spell checker? Oh well, I've been down this road before. It's so sad.

Business as usual in this industry...

- Steve

Deeman2
06-03-2005, 12:41 PM
Steve,

With $47,000 for a full field, this might be a hugh tournament. How much is that in Bert Kinnister "Dollars"? /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Deeman

SpiderMan
06-03-2005, 12:47 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Steve Lipsky:</font><hr> From AZ Billiards: http://www.azbilliards.com/2000storya.cfm?storynum=2763

If I worked at a company considering a sponsorship of a pool tournament, and I saw this press release, I would RUN in the opposite direction.

Spelling and punctuation errors everywhere, including listing a "website" that when entered, my own browser alerted me that I was probably about to be the victim of a scam.

If you are in the business of writing things for public consumption, is it too much to ask that you know how to write professionally and use a spell checker? Oh well, I've been down this road before. It's so sad.

Business as usual in this industry...

- Steve <hr /></blockquote>

I don't see the problems you noted. But your link sent me to something that was more of an "outline" than a "press release". The format of the "outline" was not prose or paragraphs, therefore few complete sentences would be needed.

And there was no clickable link to another web site, as you mentioned, so I didn't experience any scam warning.

Perhaps this page is not the same one you are writing about? Wait a minute ... you're just trying to con us all into reading the announcement, right?

SpiderMan

Steve Lipsky
06-03-2005, 01:06 PM
LOL, Marty. No /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

- The word "entry" is spelled as "entree" three times.

- I am almost positive the name of one of the tournament directors is spelled wrong. Should be "Finnegan".

- Although no clickable link, when I entered "www.masterpoolhall@yahoo.com", my browser (Firefox) alerted me that I was "trying to be tricked" (I swear, lol).

- "Player's Meeting" is arguable, but I say it should either be "Players Meeting" or "Players' Meeting"

- "Guarantee $15000" should at least be "Guaranteed", and the words should probably be reversed.

- "Mail Entree [sic]:" is kind of a strange way of saying what they mean.

I don't know. It's a Friday and I'm just looking to blow off steam, but if you think that's a well-worded document, we'll have to agree to disagree. /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

- Steve

DvB
06-03-2005, 01:23 PM
Steve,

I'm with you buddy. You're 100% correct on all of your observed errors (and I'd add that the "writer" meant to say that entries (entrees?) should be sent to JAB Cues &amp; Things C/O Jose Burgos, not CC Jose Burgos).

But if you REALLY want to feel rueful about the perceived image of those associated with pool, check out the quote from a certain Mr. Terrell Carter, a "frequent patron" of Rack Runners pool hall in Charlotte, NC.

Quote from Mr. Carter (http://www.billiardsdigest.com/ccboard/showflat.php?Cat=&amp;Board=ccb&amp;Number=193721&amp;Forum=cc b&amp;Words=unexpectable&amp;Match=Entire%20Phrase&amp;Searchp age=0&amp;Limit=25&amp;Old=1month&amp;Main=193721&amp;Search=true# Post193721)

Sigh . . .

Steve Lipsky
06-03-2005, 01:31 PM
DvB,

Wow, that's very sad. I do not even understand his quote AFTER the butchering of "unexpected", lol.

Yeah, there were definitely more errors in the AZ piece. Another one: In the same sentence, the word "Before" is capitalized but not the word "After" (obviously neither should be).

Glad to know I'm not alone... /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

- Steve

Steve Lipsky
06-03-2005, 01:33 PM
LOL, Deeman. Kinister dollars are up against the yen today, by the way. /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

- Steve

DvB
06-03-2005, 01:39 PM
Just for laughs, I went to the website for JAB Cues &amp; Things (you know, the place to which you mail entrees). It looks like ol' Jose himself (or perhaps his webmaster) may have written that AZ Billiards release:

JAB Cues &amp; Things' apparently not-yet-complete website (http://www.jabcues.com/index.html)

Steve Lipsky
06-03-2005, 01:46 PM
OMG... this is too much, lol. Someone stop the madness please...........

- Steve

SpiderMan
06-03-2005, 01:47 PM
I didn't really imply that it was well-written. Actually, I wouldn't call it "written" at all - it looked more like a fill-in-the-blanks bulletin-type notice. The sort of thing someone might use for facts when writing the actual press release. When I read your first posting, I sort of expected to be linked to a document with greater aspirations /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

My judgement would be far more critical if this had been an actual writeup, or had been mailed out in a press kit.

SpiderMan

SpiderMan
06-03-2005, 01:49 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote DvB:</font><hr> Just for laughs, I went to the website for JAB Cues &amp; Things (you know, the place to which you mail entrees). It looks like ol' Jose himself (or perhaps his webmaster) may have written that AZ Billiards release:

JAB Cues &amp; Things' apparently not-yet-complete website (http://www.jabcues.com/index.html) <hr /></blockquote>

I'd guess that English is not the native language of his web designer.

SpiderMan

CarolNYC
06-04-2005, 02:25 AM
God, I love ya Steve!!!!!!!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[ QUOTE ]
"Mail Entree <hr /></blockquote>
Maybe theres a "Meal Entree" included??????? Free food,too, Im in!!!!!!!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

DING!
Carol~thinks Steve was AWESOME,AWESOME in Vegas-had no doubt! /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif