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Cueless Joey
06-21-2005, 09:41 AM
MATHEMATICS AND REAL LIFE

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


GENERAL EQUATIONS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.


LONGEVITY STATISTICS

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs
and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at
funerals.

SPetty
06-21-2005, 10:08 AM
http://www.pettypoint.com/evilgirls.jpg

SpiderMan
06-21-2005, 11:15 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote SPetty:</font><hr> http://www.pettypoint.com/evilgirls.jpg <hr /></blockquote>

Is your site down? Nothing appears for me.

SpiderMan

SpiderMan
06-21-2005, 11:16 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Cueless Joey:</font><hr>LONGEVITY STATISTICS
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
<hr /></blockquote>

Male retirees invariably die before their wives. Why? Because they want to.

SpiderMan

Vapros
06-22-2005, 09:55 PM
Of course women live longer than men. They don't have wives. Well, most of them don't, anyway.

Drop1
06-23-2005, 12:22 PM
SpiderMan,
Its love of money, that is the root of all evil. So change the equation,and we all love money accept the ones of us,whom take vows of poverty, Therefore we are all evil,accept the ones who took vows of poverty,and no one wants to spend time with someone that has no money,because without money you can't do the fun evil stuff. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Vapros
06-23-2005, 08:31 PM
Of course women outlive men. It's because they don't have wives. Well, most of them don't, anyway.