Tom_In_Cincy
06-25-2005, 06:45 PM
We Must Stop This Conspiracy Immediately!
Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are
heavier. And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I walked to the corner
and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young
ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up
they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent
message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip
reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the
other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an
old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even
recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this
morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection.........Well, REALLY
NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking
life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them.. All
I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them
screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would
they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they
think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips,
thighs, and bosom?
The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in
reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial?
HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people
think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on --
but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the
phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!
Al l I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless
something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these
awful indignities.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN
GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something
has caused my computer's fonts to be smaller than they once were too!
Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are
heavier. And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I walked to the corner
and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young
ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up
they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent
message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip
reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the
other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an
old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even
recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this
morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection.........Well, REALLY
NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking
life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them.. All
I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them
screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would
they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they
think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips,
thighs, and bosom?
The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in
reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial?
HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people
think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on --
but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the
phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!
Al l I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless
something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these
awful indignities.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN
GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something
has caused my computer's fonts to be smaller than they once were too!