View Full Version : Southern vs Northern Football

07-22-2005, 09:42 AM
I thought this was pretty funny as it was very real to me during football season when I was at the University of Florida... [ QUOTE ]


Women's Accessories:

NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the

front pocket.

SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks,

waterproof mascara, and a fifth of Jack Daniels/Crown.

Money is not necessary -- That's what dates are for.

Stadium Size:

NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000


Campus Decor:

NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.

SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:

NORTH: Also a physics major.

SOUTH: Also Miss America.


NORTH: If you are slightly coordinated, you make the

varsity squad.

SOUTH: You begin cheer camp at age two, complete with

ballet, dance, & gymnastic training.

Getting Tickets:

NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket

office on campus and purchase tickets.

SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the

ticket office on campus & put name on the waiting


Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:

NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to

the game, because they have classes on Friday.

SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they

don't want to see the few hung-over students that

might actually make it to class and puke on their



NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens

the campus for game parking.

SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving

on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really

faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:

NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN

on TV.

SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for

breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is

broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave

to the idiots up north.


NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it,

listening to local radio station with truck tailgate


SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at

dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by "Dave

Matthews' Band," who come over during breaks and ask

for a hit off bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:

NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find

it, you walk right in.

SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game

day it becomes the state's third largest city.


NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top

with soda.

SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home

team's mascot on it, filled less than halfway with

soda, to ensure enough room for Jack Daniels/Crown.

When National Anthem is Played:

NORTH: Stands are still less than half full.

SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in

perfect four-part harmony.

The Smell in the Air After the First Score:

NORTH: Nothing changes.

SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of Jack Daniels/Crown.

Commentary (Male):

NORTH: "Nice play."

SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and

break his legs."

Commentary (Female):

NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."

SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and

break his legs."


NORTH: Neutral and paid.

SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the

fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so

proud of his team.

After the Game:

NORTH: The stadium is emptying out.

SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker while

somebody goes to the nearest package store for more

bourbon. Planning begins for next week's game.
<hr /></blockquote>

I loved riding my bike over to the O-Dome parking lot at 7 AM to wake up the "RVers" and have some breakfast. Right afterwards, they would get the smokers hot and ready and put on the meat. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif I sure miss those days.


07-22-2005, 02:23 PM
ah, its things like this that make me even more proud to be a southerner. I can't vouch for the north parts of this one, but as far as the south parts go I couldn't find on thing that wasn't at least partially true.

07-22-2005, 03:23 PM
I think the South is more accurately protrayed. I mean how do they figure stadia in the north seat 20000? Michigan???? Ohio State????? I must ask why southerners would drink crown tho. Nasty stuff, and shouldn't they be drinking bourbon? But I have talked to southerners who knocked back a lot of crown and coke. Seems to me bourbon rahter than nasty canadian would be the choice. I don't think Bear Bryant would have touched crown, but I think he drank a whole lotta bourtbon. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

07-23-2005, 08:48 AM
REminds me of the time that i was down in College Station, TX when A&amp;M had a game. If you drove with the windows down you could hear the stadium miles and miles away.

ANd most of the other stuff is true as well.

07-24-2005, 10:02 PM
I can say this about southern football, no matter how bad your team plays that season the fans are always there in full force. My example being USC (NOT SO CAL), South Carolina. No matter how bad the team played the stadium was sold out, the stadium holds 80,000 people.


07-25-2005, 08:47 AM
eg8r, I'll show my age a little on this one. I was at Gainsville the first time the Gators beat Alabama. IIRC.

Everybody was inside somewhere listining to the game, wasn't on TV back then. When we won everybody just naturly went outside, which pretty much filled up the streets. Pretty soon there were firetrucks trying to put out the bonfires in the street, little VW's full of girls being carried off over the lawns, ect. I think a few guys got arrested for putting the firehoses on the fires.

Started a tradition that lasted several years. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

07-25-2005, 10:10 AM
No street bonfires while I was there. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif