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dg-in-centralpa
08-11-2005, 05:12 PM
1. I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
2. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"
3. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
4. I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
5. Why not modern Latin: VENI, VEDI, VISA - I came, I saw, I shopped.
6. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
7. STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.
8. Strange! No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.
9. Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
10. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
11. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
12. I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and...
13. If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.
14. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
15. Try a little kindness. As little as possible. Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down.
16. I love playing cards with children. They can't tell you're dealing off the bottom of the deck.
17. Remember: you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar... Of course, how you spend your leisure time is your business.
18. A man's best friend is his dog. That's assuming you want a friend who messes on your carpet and drools on your newspaper.
19. If I won the lottery, I wouldn't be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs. I'd make my boss's life a living hell for a week or two first.
20. A rose by any other name would stick you just as bad and draw just as much blood when you grab a thorn.
21. It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
22. This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.
23. How come wrong numbers are never busy?
24. Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?
25. Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?
26. Does killing time damage eternity?
27. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
28. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
29. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
30. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

DG - wifey and daughter like #5

Rich R.
08-11-2005, 07:01 PM
If I ever win the lottery, I will seriously consider #19. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

CarolNYC
08-12-2005, 03:40 AM
Hiya Duane,
Are ALL Ladybugs "ladies?" /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
Carol~hmmmmmm,interesting..............

CarolNYC
08-12-2005, 03:48 AM
OH Rich,yoo-hoo,
Thank you very much for the card-you&Cathy are the BEST!
love ya,
Carol /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

dg-in-centralpa
08-12-2005, 05:11 AM
Maybe the males are in "drag." Otherwise there would be no babies.... hmmm

Duane- how's the new grandmother-can't keep away from the baby, huh?

dg-in-centralpa
08-12-2005, 05:14 AM
I agree with you, but I can't do that as my parents are my boss. Makes things a little more complicated.

/ccboard/images/graemlins/frown.gif

Rich R.
08-12-2005, 06:42 AM
/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

See you soon, Grandma. /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Rich R.
08-12-2005, 06:43 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote dg-in-centralpa:</font><hr> I agree with you, but I can't do that as my parents are my boss. Makes things a little more complicated.<hr /></blockquote>
It takes some of the fun out of life, doesn't it? /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Sid_Vicious
08-12-2005, 07:37 AM
I theorized that one a long time ago,,,that'd be one of the biggest hoots to flaunt your new found liberty, be it a limo on the drive by the plant one day or simply milking the clock knowing you could simply say "I QUIT!" with the first mention of you actually doing some work. Call me a rebel...sid~~~does like the people he works with, but it sure would be a fine emotion having 10mil after taxes knowing you had options ;-)

pooltchr
08-12-2005, 09:17 AM
I always said if I won the lottery, I would go to work, but with a VERY different attitude!!!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

dg-in-centralpa
08-12-2005, 01:35 PM
You've got that right! Previous bosses? In a heartbeat.

DG