View Full Version : open challenge to all married ccbers

08-13-2005, 07:23 PM
My in-laws are the biggest, skull hammering douche bags to ever plague this fine planet. I will match in-law stories with any of you married CCb'ers and give you the last eight and still make you feel like you married into the Rockerfeller family. Any takers?

08-13-2005, 08:22 PM
your on. My mother in law was the meanest SOB that the Good Lord ever made the mistake of putting on this earth. treated everybody in the family like sh#t and expected them to just sit there and take it. heaven forbid if she got a cold or a sniffle. Sh#t, she would spend a week in bed if she did and pity her husband if he did not wait on her hand and foot. Now for the clincher. everybody on here knows that my wife is terminally ill and is just fighting to breathe more every day. By the way, she is an only child. anyway, my mother in law this wonderful mean and miserable SOB jut had to tell my wife before she dies that she was a MISTAKE and should have never been born as she never wanted any kids. Well God must have been listening to what she said and did and he took my mother in law first. to this day i believe he took her so that my wife could no longer suffer at the hands of this woman. Thats my story and i am sticking to it.....pretty rotten if you ask me......mike

08-14-2005, 08:55 AM
I can't compete. I have no in-laws other than sis and brother-in-laws. Wifeys parents were dead by the time she was 10 years old.


08-14-2005, 12:12 PM
I just went on a fishing vacation with my father-in-law and bro-in-law. It was awesome. I am sorry you don't get along with your inlaws. /ccboard/images/graemlins/frown.gif


08-16-2005, 04:06 PM
My in-laws were lomg dead before me and Deewoman got married. Sorry, I have the perfect set-up.


08-16-2005, 10:16 PM
Who were the Rockerfellers??

08-17-2005, 05:30 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote thepoolnerd:</font><hr> My in-laws are the biggest, skull hammering douche bags to ever plague this fine planet. I will match in-law stories with any of you married CCb'ers and give you the last eight and still make you feel like you married into the Rockerfeller family. Any takers? <hr /></blockquote>

Well, my mother-in-law repeats here self-constantly and is always depressed and talking about her priest or dead people (husband, son, mother, and 2 sisters), but all in all she's not a bad sort. Sometimes I get along better with her than my wife does.

08-17-2005, 08:58 AM
My wife was adopted by a woman who believed at the time that she was infertile. Six years later - boom! Pregnant! Once the 'real' baby was born my wife's status as the lesser 'adopted one' was made clear to her. Her new little sister became the apple of her mother's eye and no matter how often she screwed up (which was often) while growing up - in her mother's eye she could do no wrong. My wife on the other hand, could do no right.

Thus a pattern was set that carried forward into her adult life. Her sister was favored no matter what she did while no matter what she did my wife was never good enough. Her mother constantly criticized everything about her from her choice of husband (me) to how she raised her children.

The day came when my mother-in-law was diagnosed with bone cancer and given a very short time to live. As she declined she needed constant care. My wife became her caregiver. She prepared meals and cleaned house and did laundry - picked up prescription drugs and took her mother in for the many Dr. appointments. She spent most of her mother's final year constantly by her side nursing her. In order for her to do this we made sacrifices in our personal life - for my wife to take good care of her mother it meant that she couldn't be home with me and the kids. We made do.

Younger sister was conspicuously absent during most of that year. She had dozens of excuses for why she couldn't be more help taking care of mom like having to go shoe shopping or out to the movies with her husband...

The day after my mother-in-law finally lost her battle with cancer and passed away my sister-in-law announced that unbeknownst to my wife a new will had been drawn up two years prior to her mother's death. Because her mother was angry with my wife at the time the new will was written - she had been completely disinherited. Under the new will the 'real' daughter was to get everything. Mother and 'real' daughter had managed to keep this little secret from my wife until it was too late for anyone to do anything about it.

It was the ultimate slap in the face from the grave.

I spent twenty-five years with that hateful, spiteful, abusive woman as my mother-in-law. Her death came as a great relief. To this day, I remain proud of my wife for her efforts to care for her mother during her time of need as well as her continuing efforts to earn her mother's un-earnable love during the time she was alive.

Sometimes, in life, no matter how hard one tries and through no fault of their own - they are doomed to failure. We lived that painful experience with a mother-in-law from H*ll. On a happier note, at least my mother-in-law is back where she came from...


08-17-2005, 09:44 AM
A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law.

One morning, while still deep in the jungle, the hunter's wife
awakened to find her mother gone.

She woke her husband, and they both set off in search
of the old woman.

In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight.

The mother-in-law was standing face to face with a ferocious lion.

"What are we going to do?" his horrified wife asked.

"Nothing," her husband replied, "The lion got himself into this mess,
let him get himself out of it."

08-17-2005, 10:51 AM
There's this middle-aged guy, stressed out beyond belief at work. So he decides it's time for a vacation and tells his wife. His wife gets really excited, but tells him that her mother must come along, too. Well the husband is not too happy with this arrangement since all those two do is talk and complain, but he really needs this vacation so he agrees.

So they're all lying in the sun on this beautiful beach in the Caribbean and the wife and the mother are just yakking it up to the point where the hubby can't get any rest. So he decides to go for a walk along the shoreline. He stumbles upon an object buried in the sand and pulls out an old oil lamp from which a genie emerges. The genie says, "Thank you sir for releasing me from the bottle. I have been trapped for hundreds of years. To show my thanks I will grant you three wishes but on the condition that whatever you wish for, your mother-in-law gets twice as much." Stunned and slightly puzzled by the condition, the man decides to accept the genie's generosity anyway. So the man says, "Genie, for my first wish, I want a huge pile of money. Enough money so that I won't ever have to work again." And poof! Right on the beach appeard a huge pile of money. Then suddenly there were shrieks coming from where he left his wife and MIL and the man turned around to see two huge piles of money next to his MIL! A little puzzled, the man turned back to the genie and said, "Genie for my second wish, I want a top-of-the-line Mercedes Benz. Fully loaded, nothing left out." And poof! Right beside him there appeared a Mercedes Benz, a top-of-the-line model and lacking nothing. Now the man hears even louder shrieks coming from his MIL and turns around and sees two of the same cars next to her! The MIL looks at her son-in-law, looks at his car, his pile of money, puts two and two together and starts running towards him. The man turns back to the genie, thinks for a minute, looks at his MIL descending upon him, and then says to the genie real quick, "Genie, I want you to beat me half to death."

Hey, don't blame me, Sack started it.


08-17-2005, 11:24 AM
ok, one more:

A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies. They go to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home but that it'll cost over $5000, whereas they can bury her in the Holy Land for only $150. The guy says, "We'll ship her home." The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here." The guy says, "Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."