View Full Version : Funniest Thing I've Heard Lately at the Pool Table

11-22-2005, 01:28 PM
OK, last night, I was playing this guy a set and on the final game I have a frozen ball set. The object ball was on a tangent line short of the pocket, so I hit it lag speed, 3 tips down and gear it forward into the hole. I got out and that was the end of the set. The shot was something like this.

%CD7X9%DK5I7%FK9H5%GN0W2%Hl8W3%IQ0V3%JR8K1%KG6R2%L D3M5%MZ2R0

Now, here's what I thought was humorous, but of course I didn't laugh at the time (this guy was bigger than me and I'm 6'4" 270 pounds). The guy was digging into his pocket to pay up and says, "Nice shot on that 4 ball. You know why that works, don't you?" So, I get my favorite confused look on my face, and say, "No, I just know it works" waiting for his explanation. Here it was, as close as I can remember. And the words I use are his to the best of my recollection.

"Well, ya see, everything that's round has an electrical charge, kinda like planets do, so they've got their own gravity field. When you hit that first ball with draw english, it spins on the the ball so hard that it excites the 'eeeelectricical' (that was pronounced 'eeee-lek-tris-i-kal' )in that ball, and it puts an opposite charge on the ball it's froze to. Now, ya know opposing things attract, right? So when that far ball leaves, the negative charge on it actually drags that first ball towards the hole and it'll go in every time. I don't expect you to understand all of it, but that's why those shots work... gravity and electricity."

I just looked at him, biting my lip and said "hmmmmmm... cool..."

So, now, when you have a frozen ball that you have to gear or throw forward, remember, it's not the gear effect or spin that throws it forward, it's the combination of the gravitational pull of the balls and the "eeeelectricical charge" you put on the balls when you spin the cue ball!

Yes, folks, I live in Hicktown, USA!


PS: Hope this guy don't read CCB, cause he's a big sucker!

11-22-2005, 02:59 PM

You mean, that ain't the way it works???


11-22-2005, 03:14 PM
Oh, so that explains it!!!!! I bet those Vally league patches that you have to put by the pocket for the 8 ball have some sort of negative charge that repells the 8 ball while they change the polarity of all the other pockets to attract the 8ball.

Ha Ha hahahahahhahahahhaaha........... /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

11-22-2005, 03:22 PM

That's funny. I wonder if it's really true....randyg

11-22-2005, 03:23 PM
Het Scott Lee: Did you read Cane's story...randyg

11-22-2005, 04:21 PM
and this is why it is essential that you never EVER clean the balls. The chemicals used to clean them can wear down the electrical field, and eventually you get to the point where balls simply cannot be made. Also if done enough, there won't be enough protons left to help the ball stay on the cloth, and you'll be playing a game with floating balls! I dun seen it at bubba's house!


p.s. next time ask him what kind of magical journey the cue ball goes on in a coin op table after a scratch!

Scott Lee
11-22-2005, 05:56 PM
Randy...Damn, I've been explaining it ALL wrong for the past 30 yrs. I guess I'll have to revamp my teaching, like you and Bob! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif LOL


11-22-2005, 06:02 PM
That's a great shot....and a good story.
It might be the same guy that explained to me
how they are able to control the ball drop in
Keno....works something like in pool
the cage is magnetized, each ball has a set magnetic value and by adjusting the magnetic flux,or gauss,
they can determine which ball will come up next
This is after the computer has calculated which set of balls, numbers, will pay out the least $$
I gave up playing Keno after finding out this secret info
now I'm wondering about pool????
there does seem to be some kind of magnetic attraction though, between the cue ball, and the side pockets.
I've seen cue balls go in from impossible angles off of an end cushion....and I've seen them curve slightly at the pocket, just enough to scratch.
It's a GD conspiracy....

11-22-2005, 09:40 PM
/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gifSack316, You dirty freak, I always clean MY balls!!! "and one time at Band Camp......" LOL /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

Rich R.
11-23-2005, 04:05 AM
Does this mean that I have to go out and get one of those static electricity reducing straps, that they used to hang underneath cars, and hang one under my pool table? /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif

11-23-2005, 05:51 AM
Naw Rich, just a chain....randyg

Scott Lee
11-23-2005, 08:59 AM
Jack...That's called the "Hoover Effect"! The CB is inexplicably 'sucked' into the side pockets, even at extreme angles. This is an unknown phenomena, that has been occurring during certain cycles of the moon, for centuries now! NEVER play pool under a full moon! /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif


11-23-2005, 09:02 AM
Oh no, never under a full moon? Damn I guess I'm going to have to go through my league scheduals and set up make up matches for all games played on the full moon.

J /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

11-23-2005, 09:54 AM
/ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif lol

11-23-2005, 10:50 AM
And all this time I thought that ball fell just cause I was so gosh darn cute...I am disappointed...woe is me! LMAO


11-23-2005, 02:48 PM
Nonsense. Everbody knows it's whether the balls "LIKE" you or not, who talks to them FIRST, and the tone of voice you use when speaking to them.

11-24-2005, 06:11 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Cali:</font><hr> /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gifSack316, You dirty freak, I always clean MY balls!!! "and one time at Band Camp......" LOL /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif <hr /></blockquote>

AAAAH! no way, they might get wet then!!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

And also, I've been talking a lot lately about that cue ball in the side pockets at impossible angles, so I'm glad someone mentioned that. Also let us not forget about the dreaded "6 ball curse". If you don't know what it is, come play a few games with me and it will rub off and haunt you for the rest of your days! (ask anyone in Montgomery APA about it!). We've gotten to the point where we actually renamed it the "Denise ball" and tried to start a new relationship with it, thus far no improved results. Although at the league meeting in December we are proposing that it be replaced with another ball. But that's all another story.