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9 Ball Girl
12-06-2005, 07:32 AM
abstinence-only sex education n. Ignorance-only sex education

alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil

bankruptcy n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations

"burning bush" n. A biblical allusion to the response of the President of the United States when asked a question by a journalist who has not been paid to inquire

Cheney, Dick n. The greater of two evils

China n. See Wal-Mart

class warfare n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage

climate change n. The blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans

compassionate conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy

creationism n. Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental

DeLay, Tom n. 1. Past tense of De Lie

democracy n. A product so extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted

dittohead n. An Oxy(contin)moron

energy independence n. The caribou witness relocation program

extraordinary rendition n. Outsourcing torture

faith n. The stubborn belief that God approves of Republican moral values despite the preponderance of textual evidence to the contrary

Fox News fict. Faux news

free markets n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense

girly men n. Males who do not grope women inappropriately

God n. Senior presidential adviser

growth n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich

habeas corpus n. Archaic. (Lat.) Legal term no longer in use (See Patriot Act)

healthy forest n. No tree left behind

homelandism n. A neologism for love of the Homeland Security State, as in "My Homeland, 'tis of thee, sweet security state of liberty..."

honesty n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Freedom is on the march"

House of Representatives n. Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5 million (See Senate)

laziness n. When the poor are not working

leisure time n. When the wealthy are not working

liberal(s) n. Followers of the Antichrist

Miller, Zell n. The man who shot and killed Alexander Hamilton after a particularly tough interview on Hardball

neoconservatives n. Nerds with Napoleonic complexes

9/11 n. Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy, especially if unrelated (See Deficit, Iraq War)

No Child Left Behind riff. 1. v. There are always jobs in the military 2. n. The rapture

ownership society n. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth

Patriot Act n. 1. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first. 2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us

pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth

Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million

simplify v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors

staying the course interj. [/i]Slang.[/i] Saying and doing the same stupid thing over and over, regardless of the result

stuff happens interj. [/i]Slang.[/i] Donald Rumsfeld as master historian

Wal-Mart n. The nation-state, future tense

water n. Arsenic storage device

woman n. 1. Person who can be trusted to bear a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have the child. 2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place

Gayle in MD
12-06-2005, 08:04 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> abstinence-only sex education n. Ignorance-only sex education

alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil

bankruptcy n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations

"burning bush" n. A biblical allusion to the response of the President of the United States when asked a question by a journalist who has not been paid to inquire

Cheney, Dick n. The greater of two evils

China n. See Wal-Mart

class warfare n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage

climate change n. The blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans

compassionate conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy

creationism n. Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental

DeLay, Tom n. 1. Past tense of De Lie <font color="red"> </font color> This is the best one! <font color="red"> </font color>

democracy n. A product so extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted <font color="red"> </font color> AH HA HA HA <font color="red"> </font color>

dittohead n. An Oxy(contin)moron <font color="red"> </font color>

energy independence n. The caribou witness relocation program

extraordinary rendition n. Outsourcing torture <font color="red"> </font color> So true it's sad <font color="red"> </font color>

faith n. The stubborn belief that God approves of Republican moral values despite the preponderance of textual evidence to the contrary

Fox News fict. Faux news <font color="red"> </font color> This one couldn't be more true." <font color="red"> </font color>

free markets n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense

girly men n. Males who do not grope women inappropriately

God n. Senior presidential adviser <font color="red"> </font color> And the doctor from the National Zoo. <font color="red"> </font color>

growth n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich <font color="red"> </font color>
This one is too good <font color="red"> </font color>

habeas corpus n. Archaic. (Lat.) Legal term no longer in use (See Patriot Act)

healthy forest n. No tree left behind

homelandism n. A neologism for love of the Homeland Security State, as in "My Homeland, 'tis of thee, sweet security state of liberty..."

honesty n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Freedom is on the march" <font color="red"> </font color> AND..."We'll fight them over there, so we won't have to fight them over here." <font color="red"> </font color>

House of Representatives n. Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5 million (See Senate)

laziness n. When the poor are not working

leisure time n. When the wealthy are not working

liberal(s) n. Followers of the Antichrist <font color="red"> </font color> Jesus was a liberal....

Miller, Zell n. The man who shot and killed Alexander Hamilton after a particularly tough interview on Hardball <font color="red"> </font color> BWA HA HA HA !!!

neoconservatives n. Nerds with Napoleonic complexes <font color="red"> </font color> and lots of crooked friends!

9/11 n. Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy, especially if unrelated (See Deficit, Iraq War) <font color="red"> </font color> (See Bush Administration)

No Child Left Behind riff. 1. v. There are always jobs in the military 2. n. The rapture <font color="red"> </font color> Unless they live in New Orleans

ownership society n. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth <font color="red"> </font color> This one is right on! <font color="red"> </font color>

Patriot Act n. 1. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first. 2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us <font color="red"> </font color> BWA HA HA HA

pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birthn <font color="red"> </font color> This is so true!!!

Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million
<font color="red"> </font color> And the right connections!
simplify v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors

staying the course interj. [/i]Slang.[/i] Saying and doing the same stupid thing over and over, regardless of the result <font color="red"> </font color> Did I write this one? LOL <font color="red"> </font color>

stuff happens interj. [/i]Slang.[/i] Donald Rumsfeld as master historian <font color="red"> </font color> Rumsfeld's back up plan for the occupation of Iraq! <font color="red"> </font color> <font color="red"> </font color>

Wal-Mart n. The nation-state, future tense

water n. Arsenic storage device

woman n. 1. Person who can be trusted to bear a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have the child. 2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place
<hr /></blockquote>Changed my mind, this is the best one of all.
<font color="red"> </font color>

Thanks Wendy, for starting my day off with a good laugh! These are great!

supergreenman
12-06-2005, 09:33 AM
Good one Wendy, I think there might be a few more:

Healthy Environment: Good conditions to do business and exploit cheap labor. Preferably in smoe 3rd world country

Justice: What only the rich can afford

Accountability: A new way to cook the books and screw stock holders and pension funds

Affordable Health Care: An apple a day keeps the Dr. away. An especially good thing if you don't have a house to mortgage to afford that hip replacement.

Library: A good place to keep tabs on the population under the guise of looking for terrorists

Balanced Budget: Huh??????????

/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

DickLeonard
12-08-2005, 06:55 AM
Debra will no be Happy we have Finally Added Humor to this Board.####

DebraLiStarr
12-08-2005, 09:12 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote DickLeonard:</font><hr> Debra will no be Happy we have Finally Added Humor to this Board.#### <hr /></blockquote>

On this forum, the "H" word is NOT "humor"... its "Wendy"... /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Chopstick
12-08-2005, 09:23 AM
What happened to little Miss I'm only interested in what the Bush women are wearing?

And what about that pudden fight. Ya'll weren't too shy about it down at Costco.

And DL how come you weren't at the IPT. Me an Spetty were going up to every oriental lookin gal in there askin em if their name was Debra Li. Eg8r joined us on Saturday. You know who, with the shoes was there too but we didn't talk to her.

DebraLiStarr
12-08-2005, 10:31 AM
Chopstick
When we talked on the phone, I told you that I was not going to that thing. David had his surgery that week and we were up in Gainesville. btw.. are you trying to say that we all look alike? lol /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif


ps... the girl with the shoes is pretty cool, of course I have had problems with her but that is in the past.

Chopstick
12-08-2005, 11:31 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote DebraLiStarr:</font><hr> Chopstick
When we talked on the phone, I told you that I was not going to that thing. btw.. are you trying to say that we all look alike? lol /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
<hr /></blockquote>

Actually it's blondes that all look alike to me. Ya'll are the ones that can't drive.

Hey 9bawlGirl, wanna know what DL told me and Spiderman on the phone? She said she was gonna whoop your yankee a$$!

DebraLiStarr
12-08-2005, 02:56 PM
I'm an EXCELLENT driver.

9 Ball Girl
12-08-2005, 07:17 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Chopstick:</font><hr>Hey 9bawlGirl, wanna know what DL told me and Spiderman on the phone? She said she was gonna whoop your yankee a$$! <hr /></blockquote>Hey "B" word, it looks like we got ourselves our very own "Don King" for our puddin' fight!

DebraLiStarr
12-08-2005, 07:50 PM
I see that, H-word.
Hey, wtf is a replucanism? /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif
Just wondering.

9 Ball Girl
12-09-2005, 07:07 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote DebraLiStarr:</font><hr> I see that, H-word.
Hey, wtf is a replucanism? /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif
Just wondering. <hr /></blockquote>Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!! I just noticed that!