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wolfdancer
12-16-2005, 06:32 PM
May have been posted here once before.....
At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various brewing
organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conference.

Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the Barman: "In 'Strylya, we make the
best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a bladdy Fosters, mate."

Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the
finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all, gimme a
Bud."

Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented das beer, ferdamt. Give me
ein Becks, ya ist der real King of beers, danke."

Paddy, CEO of Guinness, steps forward: "Barman, would ya give me a diet
coke with ice and lemon. Tanks."

The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over
their faces. Eventually Bruce asks: "Are you not going to have a
Guinness, Pat?"

Paddy replies: "Well, if you fookin' pansies aren't drinkin', then
neither am I."

dg-in-centralpa
12-16-2005, 07:23 PM
This may have been here too... but now it's even better!

Little David is in the 5th grade. Yesterday morning, the teacher asked the
children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came
up; fireman, policeman, salesman, auto mechanic, etc.

The teacher noticed that little David was being uncharacteristically quiet
and so she asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in
a GAY bar."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other
children to work on some coloring, and took little David aside to ask him,
"Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David, "He plays for the Eagles, but I was too embarrassed to
say that in front of the other kids."

DG - still roots for the Dolphins