View Full Version : Ya Gotta Love Drunk People

01-18-2006, 07:02 PM
A man and his wife are awakened, at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember, about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband.
"Yes, please! comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.

DG - been drunk but never this drunk /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

01-19-2006, 06:09 AM
True Story: I used to have this drinking buddy down at the pool hall named Allen. He would get smashed and ask people for a ride home. He was a real likeable fellow and someone would always take him. The thing was though, every time you came up to a stop light he would say turn left here. You would be driving in circles for quite some time if you listened to him.

After the first time, I learned to ignore his directions. Well one day Paul the owner of the pool hall took him home for the first time. After turning left for a while they finnally came up to a condo and Allen says this is it. Paul helps him to the door and Allen takes out his keys, unlocks the door and they walk in. There is a guy standing in the living room demanding to know what the hell they are doing in his condo.

Allen says, "Oh yea, I don't live here anymore. Can I crash here tonight anyway?" /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

01-19-2006, 08:09 AM
Lucky he didn't get shot.