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recoveryjones
01-25-2006, 11:30 PM
I've heard it said "That if you don't mind losing, you're a loser!"

Personally I think that ,that statement(although it has it's merits) is a little extreme,however, there was a time that I REALLY hated losing.I guess it started with family card games when my Dad (who didn't like to lose) took much joy from trouncing(and ribbing LOL) us when he was victorious.

There was a time in my younger years when I hated losing and got quite angry when I lost.Age has mellowed me, however,and losses are much easier to handle.I now look for the posistives in my loses and use them to try and build my game.

When I lose to a higher ranked player it's a little more tolerable especialy when I play well.When a lose to a lower ranked player, make 95% of the balls and hang the garbage, that can still hurt.

Anyways, how much do you(or did you) hate losing?
How did you overcome it and learn to enjoy the game more?
What positives do you take from a loss?
Are you a sore loser?
How much losing did you experience, before you started winning the majority of your matches?

Twice a week I play in the strongest tournament with the best competition locally.There are Pro pluses, pros ,A+'s and A's (like me) and lower ranked players.With this kind of competiton, loses are part of reality.

Here's some postives I take from playing(losing and winning) the best local competition.

1. Experience/Acclimitization.
The better the players, you play the better your own game will become.
Playing against good players puts pressure on your stroke and you have to perform.The more you are in that pressure, the less that pressure becomes as you get acclimitized.

2.Education:
I've learned lots of stuff from some of my losses to the best local players.
New shots,new safties, new attitude.

3. Correction:
I can correct my mistakes in practice and make sure that they have a much less chance of re-occuring in future matches.

4. Reflection:
I can take confidence from the good things I've done well and bulid on that to become a stronger player.I can learn from my wins and my loses.

5. Fellowship:
I enjoy socializing with my friends at the pool tournaments.I've made lots of friends and I enjoy their company.

I think going in to a match with the knowledge that you are going to win (in regards to experience,education,correction, reflection and fellowship) no matter what, makes the game much more enjoyable and losses are easier to take.This formula actually makes me win more matches than I ever have before.It seems the more I hated to lose , the more I lost because of the pressure and self condemnation that went with it.The more I think I'm going to win (even if I lose) has relaxed me more and as a result, I'm winning more matches.
RJ

Rich R.
01-26-2006, 03:55 AM
I dislike losing as much as anyone. However, there is one thing I dislike much more.
That is, not playing at all.
Win or lose, if I play, it is a good day.

CaptainHook
01-26-2006, 06:02 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote recoveryjones:</font><hr> I've heard it said "That if you don't mind losing, you're a loser!"

Personally I think that ,that statement(although it has it's merits) is a little extreme,however, there was a time that I REALLY hated losing.I guess it started with family card games when my Dad (who didn't like to lose) took much joy from trouncing(and ribbing LOL) us when he was victorious.

There was a time in my younger years when I hated losing and got quite angry when I lost.Age has mellowed me, however,and losses are much easier to handle.I now look for the posistives in my loses and use them to try and build my game.

When I lose to a higher ranked player it's a little more tolerable especialy when I play well.When a lose to a lower ranked player, make 95% of the balls and hang the garbage, that can still hurt.

Anyways, how much do you(or did you) hate losing?
How did you overcome it and learn to enjoy the game more?
What positives do you take from a loss?
Are you a sore loser?
How much losing did you experience, before you started winning the majority of your matches?

Twice a week I play in the strongest tournament with the best competition locally.There are Pro pluses, pros ,A+'s and A's (like me) and lower ranked players.With this kind of competiton, loses are part of reality.

Here's some postives I take from playing(losing and winning) the best local competition.

1. Experience/Acclimitization.
The better the players, you play the better your own game will become.
Playing against good players puts pressure on your stroke and you have to perform.The more you are in that pressure, the less that pressure becomes as you get acclimitized.

2.Education:
I've learned lots of stuff from some of my losses to the best local players.
New shots,new safties, new attitude.

3. Correction:
I can correct my mistakes in practice and make sure that they have a much less chance of re-occuring in future matches.

4. Reflection:
I can take confidence from the good things I've done well and bulid on that to become a stronger player.I can learn from my wins and my loses.

5. Fellowship:
I enjoy socializing with my friends at the pool tournaments.I've made lots of friends and I enjoy their company.

I think going in to a match with the knowledge that you are going to win (in regards to experience,education,correction, reflection and fellowship) no matter what, makes the game much more enjoyable and losses are easier to take.This formula actually makes me win more matches than I ever have before.It seems the more I hated to lose , the more I lost because of the pressure and self condemnation that went with it.The more I think I'm going to win (even if I lose) has relaxed me more and as a result, I'm winning more matches.
RJ

<hr /></blockquote>

Winner......."Best Post of the Week Award"

Great Post. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

pooltchr
01-26-2006, 06:06 AM
It depends on the circumstances. Last night in league I played a guy I have played many times. We are pretty even in skill, but last night he was shooting lights out. Every bank, every thin cut, everything he shot was going in. I didn't mind losing that match because I played well and he played better.
When I don't play well, and lose due to my own mistakes, I hate it. When someone outplays me, I just congratulate them for shooting great. I know, the next time we play, the roles might well be reversed.
Steve

Brian in VA
01-26-2006, 06:43 AM
RJ,

I don't hate losing so much as I hate not playing my best. If I'm beaten by a better player, that is far more palatable to me. If I beat myself with bad shot choice or poor execution, I really hate that.

Great post, BTW.

Brian in VA

walt8880
01-26-2006, 08:31 AM
I think no one likes to lose, but playing in competitive sports makes it inevitable.

If I lose to a better play or player on that night, I have no second thoughts.

If I lose becaue of my own ineptitude or stupidity, I am upset on the inside, but only for a short period of time, and still try to be gracious to the winner.

For all except the pros, this is only a game and should be fun. Tomorrow, no one will care who won or lost.

supergreenman
01-26-2006, 08:46 AM
It totally depends on the situation, there's not alot you can do when someone runs out from the break, just sit back and enjoy watching good pool. However when I lose because of a stupid mistake I hate it. Monday I made the mistake of gambling on an 8ball run and missed my position on the 8 ball and ended up fouling, my opponent then went on to shoot his balls in on safty shots when he had a clear runnout.(I suppose I could have taken and intentional foul and clustered his balls up but I didn't think of it) I was mad at myself for getting into that position and him not making an effort to run his wide open balls just rubbed that in. I didn't like to lose that way.

James

Billy_Bob
01-26-2006, 11:07 AM
I live in a small town and when I go to the local bar to play, many times I can win every single game when playing whoever is there. And they will not play me if I win every single game. So I *must* lose a few games every now and then. And I don't mind. I would rather have someone to play (anyone) rather than no one. They will really do this, refuse to play players who win every game.

And going to weeknight tournaments, sometimes I need to get up early the next day and the tournament is running late, so I'll lose and then I can go home. And I have no problem doing this. At least I was able to play a few games and I am happy with that. Better than staying home and not playing at all.

A funny thing happened last night, I went to a tournament with a friend who *hates* to lose. He had a baby sitter who could only watch his kid until 11:00, and it would take us 1/2 hour to get home. So we are both still in the tournament and it is 10:15. I told him what time it was and said he should dump his next game. Said I would dump my next game...

He said he couldn't do that! I said I would dump and leave it up to him as to when we went home. And I did so. Then he played a match, which he was about to win, then suddenly got really pissed. Started hitting his shots really hard. You could see the conflict in his face! (Go home and and take care of his kid or win.) Well the kid won out and he managed to dump. This was quite difficult for him to do, but he said he was glad he did. He said family comes first and he did what he had to do.

But I think his losing intentionally last night will help him in the long run. He can't stand to lose and gets quite upset when he does. I plan to take this guy to tournaments which have very good players, and he will be losing a lot. So best he learn to deal with it now. And of course by playing these tournaments, he will become a much better player. He knows that in his mind, but still hates losing!

Note that when I first started playing, for months and months, I lost every single game. But I kept playing. I learned a lot from losing. I learned what the other players were doing to win. And I remembered what shots I had trouble with which cost me a game, then practiced these shots. Then got better and started winning.

Deeman3
01-26-2006, 11:48 AM
R.J.:

Good post. I think our feelings over losing may change with time and experience. At 17 I could not stand losing and, therefore, directed all my efforts to winning.

I now enjoy the experience more than the winning in most cases. I still have my occasional killer instinct emerge but, of course, its never as prepared as when I stayed that way. That's certainly one of a hundred reasons I am not as good as I once was.

I do feel that if I play up to my expected level, I am satisfied and that occasional play at a high level is o.k for me. Otherwise I don't think I could work at a job that requires 12~16 hours a day. I guess winning at that game is more important to me now. My biggest enjoyment is watching and helping less skilled players learn and grow.


Deeman

Voodoo Daddy
01-26-2006, 12:20 PM
The saying goes..."Show me someone that doesnt mind losing and I will show you a loser", lol. I feel this way, I would rather take a beating from Mike Tyson than lose. When I lose a piece of me dies, having said all that you know now how I feel!!!

c.holtz009
01-26-2006, 12:44 PM
A bad day of pool beats a good day of work any time!!!

dg-in-centralpa
01-26-2006, 01:07 PM
I hate losing as much as anyone, unless it's a break and run, I have no control over that. If I play well and lose to someone who's playing much better, it is more tolerable. Tuesday night I lost three straight games due to losing concentration. I should have won all three games and my opponent knew it. He's a decent player but I had him and made mental mistakes. My fault and I beat myself up for it.

DG - hates to lose

recoveryjones
01-27-2006, 10:34 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Voodoo Daddy:</font><hr> The saying goes..."Show me someone that doesnt mind losing and I will show you a loser", lol.

Thanks for clarifying the above quote. I had read it somewhere else earlier but couldn't remember it, however, I got the jist of what was said.

My friend has given me some books to read on the mental aspects of sports.One book says that it is bad to rant and rave about our loses.It says the best thing to do is play over and over the successes of your matches in your head, with visulization and imagery. It says to throw the negetive stuff into the sea of forgetfullness , or the garbage can.

The more you reflect on what is negetive, the better chance you are setting yourself up for it to happen again, and the same goes for the postitive.The sub conscious mind in continially being programmed with whatever we feed it.If we self condemn or self label ourselves as chokers or losers(which can happen when we hate to lose)the chances of that re-occuring can happen again.

Chances are if we hate losing after the match is over, we probably hate losing while the match is going on.Hate causes stress, stress causes and unreliable pool stroke.Why jump on your opponents team and shark yourself with anger over a missed saftey or shot.

When I do good in a match I now re-affirm things by silently sayin "this is me". When I mess up I silently say,"I'll do better next time."By doing this I am building a postive self image that will hopefully pay off down the road in future matches.Change can be tough and relapse(to old ways)happens as changes are being made, however, I've already seen the results of some of these changes.

I came back down in four different sets at a recent tourney by keeping my cool. In races to four I was down 0-2,0-2,1-3 and 1-3 and I came back to win them all.
RJ

Eric.
01-27-2006, 01:04 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote recoveryjones:</font><hr> I've heard it said "That if you don't mind losing, you're a loser!"

Personally I think that ,that statement(although it has it's merits) is a little extreme,however, there was a time that I REALLY hated losing.I guess it started with family card games when my Dad (who didn't like to lose) took much joy from trouncing(and ribbing LOL) us when he was victorious.

There was a time in my younger years when I hated losing and got quite angry when I lost.Age has mellowed me, however,and losses are much easier to handle.I now look for the posistives in my loses and use them to try and build my game.

When I lose to a higher ranked player it's a little more tolerable especialy when I play well.When a lose to a lower ranked player, make 95% of the balls and hang the garbage, that can still hurt.

Anyways, how much do you(or did you) hate losing?
How did you overcome it and learn to enjoy the game more?
What positives do you take from a loss?
Are you a sore loser?
How much losing did you experience, before you started winning the majority of your matches?

Twice a week I play in the strongest tournament with the best competition locally.There are Pro pluses, pros ,A+'s and A's (like me) and lower ranked players.With this kind of competiton, loses are part of reality.

Here's some postives I take from playing(losing and winning) the best local competition.

1. Experience/Acclimitization.
The better the players, you play the better your own game will become.
Playing against good players puts pressure on your stroke and you have to perform.The more you are in that pressure, the less that pressure becomes as you get acclimitized.

2.Education:
I've learned lots of stuff from some of my losses to the best local players.
New shots,new safties, new attitude.

3. Correction:
I can correct my mistakes in practice and make sure that they have a much less chance of re-occuring in future matches.

4. Reflection:
I can take confidence from the good things I've done well and bulid on that to become a stronger player.I can learn from my wins and my loses.

5. Fellowship:
I enjoy socializing with my friends at the pool tournaments.I've made lots of friends and I enjoy their company.

I think going in to a match with the knowledge that you are going to win (in regards to experience,education,correction, reflection and fellowship) no matter what, makes the game much more enjoyable and losses are easier to take.This formula actually makes me win more matches than I ever have before.It seems the more I hated to lose , the more I lost because of the pressure and self condemnation that went with it.The more I think I'm going to win (even if I lose) has relaxed me more and as a result, I'm winning more matches.
RJ

<hr /></blockquote>

Losing sucks. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif


Eric